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KL Tour

we stayed at boulevard hotel, midvalley for 3 days & 3 nite. it was a great pleasure, staying with abi but a bit exhausting for all of us. abi had to travel to bangi while i had to travel to klcc. however, on the top of everything it was still great cos we could spend our evening in midvalley complex.

this time, no more shopping. everything is ready for you. we just did some survey on babycot+playpen, but none of them attracted our eyes. we went to sogo as well, but still none of the cots impressed us.

when we had a leisure walk in carrefour, accidentally i found something that had been sought for this long.this mini fridge will be used to store your milk later. it was 2 types available but another one was a bit small, and i planned to dump everything in one storage (bottles, pump, etc). so, i decided to take this one. it's a bit bulky but big & convenience.

now, in our list just left the cot and titsies-bitsies those could be bought anytime soon like diapers and kain lampin. and yes, some apparatus for confinement like your barut, my bengkung and the massage oil, i plan to order them online.

my friends said, it's no use to buy everything before you come, cos u might not using all those things e.g. stroller, cot, pump, etc. i told them, it's better i have them now, and later if you're not using, we still can keep them for you siblings, rather than later, we find out you need any of those and kalut2 go for shopping and main beli je. at least now, we bought them at discount price :)

phew, kl tour exhausted us. i had braxton hicks almost everynite, but suprisingly i could sleep soundly! no more sob, and no more 3-4a.m. sleep. maybe.. you just wanna sleep with abi?

however, this time i had a very meaningful moment. meeting some friends, spending our time talking without abi's present. like the old days where all of us were single!


Yu Yee Oil & Balm : For my SoB...



Pills box...

..will be placed later....

and... the most important objects which without those i may not able to fly this afternoon!


we're going to KL! we're going to KL! may Allah bless and look after us along the journey, safe & sound. ameen~

Life, Love & Sacrifice

i just got my air ticket. yippie! this is the most luckiest moment in our life, i have meeting in KL (1st time ever after half a year), at the same time abi also got courses in KL! our departure is scheduled tomorrow afternoon, at 1615hrs. i just can't hardly wait to be in the plane and to see abi!

i dont know when you are able to read this, what would happen to me. maybe i'd still sitting in this boring position, or maybe i'd resign and become fulltime housewife, or maybe struggling searching for a better place to work... but i want you to know that your mommy used to start her career as an engineer at KLCC. after 9 months working, i engaged with abi (should i call it 'engage'? no fest, no beautiful outfits, just in my simple baju kurung i was handed a ring by your mbah mus, and that was it), and from that time we started thinking about my transfer.

i dont know whether it was a curse or a blessing, during my transfer period, our office underwent reorganisation exercise. the position that i should sit had been eliminated, and i have to accept whatever position available. now, here i am as a document controller*. my very first days was very hard. i had a good future as an engineer in KL and now everything suddenly disappear. my current job has nothing to do with engineering. when i told outsiders, for them it was good because i wouldn't be loaded with lots of works. but for insiders, it was a great disaster for my future. no career progression, and i'll stuck as an executive 'clerk' forever.

i applied for transfer to another section to continue doing engineering, but since they had nobody to replace me, so i had to accept. i said OK but i wanted my SKG (skill group) to remain. this is the most important measurer in my career. it was really hard, and it made me cry everynite when thinking about my career. demotivated, no mentor, no coaching, no direction...

but my persistent still, until now i kept on persuading the engineering head to give me engineering works. even if i still can't have any, but it's OK. at least i did my effort.

sometimes i come to the point 'what is Allah wants me to do?' should i continue hunting for 'engineer' title or should i be thankful for this documentation works? i told you, this is not where i wanted to be. you have to do what you don't want to do and you don't know what to do. my boss just said "you manage all documentation issues in this buildings". what? how? who? why? every question i had to solve by myself.

it's very hard when you don't have passion. i do every task in the office just because of responsibility.

up to this point i'm still wondering, why should this happen? but i believe that everything happens for a reason. it shall be an answer. at least i know the meaning of 'learn from scratch'. and also the meaning of life, love and sacrifice. and another thing, i dont have to worry about offshore trip since i plan to fully breastfeed you.

one thing i want you to know and remember, i sacrifice my career for the life of my beloved family.

Money Can't Buy

when both of us get married about 10 months ago, mommy was desperately want to get pregnant as soon as possible. what was in my mind that time was... a very typical mindset of a newly wed lady who stayed separately with the groom -"i want a baby so that i won't feel sad & lonely, as my hubby's baby resides in me".

unfortunately after several months we still didn't have any sign of having baby. i was very sad those days, everytime i missed my period, i would go for tests, and i tried 2 times but all resulted negatives. abi had to bear with me everymonth, i would cry to him, and i don't know why, after we get married my period pain became very severe. 2-3 days before hariraya, i even couldn't walk because of the pain.

it was late november when i got the offer letter to join abi in miri. i just recovered from conjunctivitis, and on my second day, my eyes turned red again. another days of MC. and the thing i won't forget is, once we had dinner, abi saw red spots on my arm. our first thought was mosquito bites, but it was so funny the mosquito bite my covered arm rather than my bare hands. the next day, the spots spread to my both arms and hands. but still i didn't feel anything so i went to work as usual.

i asked some friends about the rashes, which both of us assumed it was because of our tap water. some said it was allergy. but i dont have any allergy. finally i asked dr. agus about my case, and he insisted me to go to the clinic & get MC. abi brought me there and the answer was "RUBELLA"**.

oh God.. thanked you so much for not putting any baby in my womb!

that was the answer.

and i still had my period, and severe period pain. that sickness drove me to meet the doctor and asked her what was my problem. my irregular period, painful ones, and not pregnant. she did ultrasound on me saying that all my reproduction system was OK. the doctor suspect i was having problem with my hormone, as my period was irregular, however she suggested us to try to conceive naturally because our marriage was not even a year, and only after 2 years if i'm still not pregnant, then she would refer me to gynae.

that was a new phase in our life. rubella disease, and the probability of hormonal problem taught me to be thankful for what i'd been given rather than keep on asking and weeping if i can't have it.

rather than hoping to get pregnant instantly, i kept it for the next 2 years. then, i really enjoyed my marriage life, and when people asked me about baby i told them i can't because i have problem with my hormone. it was really an enjoyable time when you don't have anything to be hoped, something that you can't make it sure to be fulfilled.

a month later, i got an offer to involve in West Lutong and Bakau facility engineering safety inspection. i was a week late that time, but since my period was irregular so i didn't have any doubt to accept the offer. however, my inner feeling asked me to check. and i was thinking, if after i come back from offshore, i would check, only if my period still doesn't come. but abi asked me to check, just to make myself confident that i wasn't pregnant and i could go offshore with a happy heart.

i bought a set from guardian, and i took 2 days to think because i was confident i'm not pregnant. i still remember the sunday morning, 2 days before my departure to offshore, finally i did the test. this time i had no more excitement to know the result. in my mind was thinking about having fun at West Lutong and Bakau later. while waiting for the result, i took my bath & didn't ever has any feeling of 'i can't wait to know!'.

after i wiping myself, i peeped on the test apparatus, and guess what... 2lines! it was unbelievable! i woke abi up, excitedly informed him about the news. then i sent smses to reliable aunties and friends asking "is 2 line means i am pregnant?"

the next day i went to the clinic to get confirmation. alhamdulillah, i was 5 week that time. and because it was unexpected, i went to 2 clinics to convince myself that i was carrying a baby :) then i told my team leader that i couldn't join the offshore trip.

now i'm counting my blessings. it was a great blessing in disguise.. for not being pregnant during our early months of marriage. if i was, during the rubella period, i might had only 2 choice, abortion or continue, but if i continued, the risk of having a disable baby was high. and if i got pregnant when i was in KL, i don't know whether i can survive. with 2 modes of transportation; mbah samni's car & lrt, and my horrible morning sickness, oh it would make me sick. last time with my big tummy pun the lrtians never never never want to get up and offer me seat.

your arrival in my tummy teaches me to be thankful for what i already have. in fact, being depress everytime my period came just make my relationship with abi becomes a bit cold then. as what abi told me when we did our first confirmation with the doctor, "we make effort and we pray, at the end we'd ask for the best thing to happen to us, not the thing that we desperately wanted".

and you are the best thing happens to us. you comes after everything is settle. now i really appreciate what had been said by the sufi:
"Allah answers our prayers in 3 ways. 1. YES & gives us what we want. 2. NO & gives us something better. 3. WAIT & gives us the best."
it's worth waiting :)

**i would recommend that every lady should go for blood test to check Rubella immunization before getting pregnant even if she already had it during schooling. because i also had it when i was in Standard 6 but still kena juga.

Your 1st Classroom

today is sleeping day. you slept the whole day! mommy called you to kick since this morning but you didn't respond. during lunchtime, at home mommy rub the tummy to encourage you but you just made a little wiggling then back to sleep. until the late afternoon you kept on snoring and didn't care about mommy's worry for do not feel your movement.

mommy got class in the evening. on the way, mommy kept on persuading you to kick. "please good boy, please do your tiger shot.. please..."but you didn't respond. aiyyoo.. what happen to my boy ni?

as mommy arrived at the class, my focus was no longer on you. maybe on the left car, or on the groups of strangers on the street or maybe on the class itself. when mommy took my seat in the classroom, something surprised me! you're kicking! you enjoyed your tiger shot until it waved my top. and you did it for the whole session. hmm.. so you like to be in classroom huh.

what a good boy la.. very smart my boy. just like abi :)

We Miss Abi

yesterday at miri airport, i tried to not to cry. and you didn't kick as what you do when i was in the office. i tried to be calm. usually i would cry in front of him everytime i send abi away. now i win :) i didn't cry. after say bye-bye to abi, we rushed home, and found a slip of "kesalahan jalanraya : meletak kereta di tempat yg dilarang" was slotted between the wipers. siot.

when we reached home, i saw abi's shirt, the one he wore the day before. you screamed from inside (was it you? hehe. sorry honey for blaming :P) "mommy, mommy... smell it.. i want to feel abi.." nah.. i just bolayan the feeling, went into the room and prepared for Asar. as i wore the telekung, i saw abi's pelikat. that time i couldn't endure anymore. i grabbed the pelikat and kissed it like i kiss abi. huhu. and that time my tears came down very heavily. abg, i miss you so much...

since pregnant, this is the first time abi had to attend course in KL. 2 courses in 2 weeks. maybe because of pregnancy, or maybe because we haven't stay apart for months making me feel very lonely and saddy...

second day without abi, i try to live as usual. but it still something missing. nobody to be woke up everymorning, nobody keeps my pills container in his pocket, nobody drives me to office, nobody pays my breakfast, nobody has breakfast with me, nobody calls me during lunch time to go home, nobody opens the grill and lock it for me, nobody watches spongebob with me, nobody helps me cooking dinner, nobody helps me doing dishes, nobody throws the garbage out, nobody gets mad at me when i spend too much time on ym, no shirts to iron, nobody to talk, nobody to hug, nobody.. nobody.. ;((

anyhow, mommy still feel happy and lucky because you are here with me. since abi got his air ticket 2 days ago, you increased your movement, making me not feel alone anymore. thank you my baby... i know you miss abi too, and you felt a bit upset upon abi's departure. you didn't respond to abi like usual, even if that time you were playing with mommy. when abi called your name, you'd suddenly stop moving.

don't be sad ok, next week we'll go after abi. we'll get a hotel at midvalley so that abi may stay with us. i promise :)

pixture of ours...

Abi & Mommy having dinner at Eastwood.
Abi & team won netball match vs Shell Sarawak & Borneo DOE in Sukan Muhibbah. We didn't wait until the prize giving ceremony bcos Abi had something more important to do. Until now we still don't know what was the price of being winners.

Our beautiful H-Hyuga ;)
This pic was taken during our month 5 check up last 2 weeks. You were sucking your thumb. Dr. Aida's remark "Baby U ni aktif la" since you kept on moving your hand over your face, maybe you wanted to cover your little face? But the persistence gynae kept on searching the right angle to peep you even if you were always turning your head to the placenta. Finally we got this one. Blimey, it's very hard to cath you.
From the image guess who's face you are into? Abi said you have his eyes. Actually I like Abi's eyes and it must be good on you ;)

My Hyuga

abi's favorite anime series, captain tsubasa left a sweet memory for us. it was played at channel 25, astro animax since early this year as i can remember. since then, (thank to astromax) everyday abi wouldn't miss any single series even if we were at work.

i am not a soccer maniac, even i don't know anything about soccer but since abi got addicted to captain tsubasa, i have to watch the anime with him (sometimes i just slept :P). i didn't follow the series as what abi did, but he used to rephrase the anime to me everytime after watching. all i know it was an extremely popular japanese anime adapted from manga, captain tsubasa, that was created in 1981.

the story was focuses on a japanese soccer team lead by captain tsubasa. i can say that abi likes tsubasa's character who was always thinking about winning even if he was in serious injury. abi said tsubasa taught not to surrender before we really have to. and the japanese team was very positive in every game. abi said, the manga first created to encourage the japanese footballers to play better and become the best team of Asia.

on top of that, why i said this series left us with sweet memory? because it was started during your early days in my womb. the time my morning sickness was always killing me. and the last episode was played a day before we went back to KB last may. at first, abi was very upset because we dont have astro at my hometown, so he couldn't watch captain tsubasa, but when we discovered that it was the last episode (after reviewing the astro mag), he was very happy. then, when we came back to Miri, no more tsubasa, no more morning sickness :)

among the great heroes in the series like tsubasa himself, genzo, taro, matsuyama, etc. the one that catch my eyes was hyuga. he is a striker, very famous with his tiger shot. his persistence outstanding in shooting goal is because of his family. he is a strong, tough and rough boy on field makes every players scares of him. however, he is still a caring boy and cares about his family very much. and his loves and cares toward his family become the driver for him to be an ace striker.

so now you know why abi & i sometimes nickname you hyuga? :) mommy call your kick tiger shot and abi says your kicking is very strong. just now you kicked abi very firmly made him shocked by your tiger shot :) you are our hyuga, be a strong and tough boy like kojiro hyuga at the same time take a good care of our family OK!

Our Current Weight - 51kg!

see that? i am very happy with the latest condition of ours. most importantly, the slight bullish trend in our gained-weight is during the transition phase of 2-weeks-and-a-half vacation. should i call it a transition phase? i gained weight, and i was able to cook!

now my daily routine, beside checking whether you are kicking or not is watching my weight gain. my target is to reach 59kg maximum during full term. it is about 12.5 or 12kg additional weight. and to gain 1 more kg until the next check-up (i already gained 1kg..huhu~).

gaining weight is important during pregnancy but gaining too much weight is disaster. there are adverse effects if i gain too much weight or gain weight too quickly. that's why i have to look after this rather than rely on eat-for-two dogma.

the risks might be:
  • stretch mark - irreversible impact. it will leave ugly-silvery-line on the stomach and only can be treated by surgery or laser treatment. NOOOO!!!! this is the thing i try to avoid. that's why i control my weight and use lotion to give moisture to my skin and to allow my epidermis to stretch.
  • pregnancy induced hypertension and gestational diabetes - as for now my BP and glucose level are normal.
  • backaches and heartburn - alhamdulillah, i had it only during the long bus ride and the early stage of 2nd trimester when my uterus became widen.
  • harder to lose weight later - would i have time to play after your arrival?
  • risk of having a large baby who may become obese later in life - remember most adult-diseases are actually started in utero. i dont want you to face this at your age of 50.
  • complication during delivery when having a large baby - abi & i want you to be delivered as normal as possible.
as for now, my gynae is happy with my weight gain. she never told me that i should gain more weight. some of my friends expect i might be very 'comel' during pregnancy but i refuse to be. it is another dogma of being 'big during pregnancy' is 'healthy'. and, pregnancy is not an excuse for overeating. yeah i am eating for two but for you, the quality is as important as the quantity i consume and of course you are not eating as much as i am, you are only 500grms now!

23 Week Fetus

now you can hear and react to sounds from outside world. i'm not very sure about this but it happened several times when you kicked Abi, at the first time you'd do it very gently until i asked you to kick harder. "don't be too slow, kick Abi harder OK". then surprisingly you'd kick stronger. and mommy notice when i put headphone on my tummy, your movement become more rapid.

now proportions your body are quite similar to a newborn but you are very thin since you are not yet forming your body fat. and your vein is still visible through your translucent skin. but mommy can't see this even if through the 4d ultrasound since.. the technology is yet still ultrasound.

i guess you have brown or green eyes now. wow, it must be very surprise if your eyes pigmentation will not be very much, so i'm gonna have a brown-eyed boy. hihihi. and your body started to develop meconium, a dark sticky material normally present in the intestine at birth and passed in the feces after birth. it's your fist stool! make sure you don't poo-poo before birth OK. it'll send us into big trouble!

and yes, your pancreas now developed steadily and started to produce insulin. it's the hormone to break glucose into energy. without this, high blood sugar = diabetes!

anyway you're doing well and busy for making yourself ready to meet mommy and daddy in another 17weeks!

Between Science and Quran

after some verse s in Quran was translated and presented to a canadian professor of embryology and anatomy, dr keith moore, he suprisedly said (after comprehending the translation) that most of the info concerning embryology mentioned in the Quran os in perfect conformity with modern discoveries and does not conflict with them in any way. however there was few verses on whose scientific accuracy could not comment, and prof moore himself was not aware about the info contained.

form the verse of surah al-Alaq (96:1-2):
"proclaim! in the name of the Lord and Cherisher, Who created. created man, out of a clot of congealed blood"

the word alaq, besides meaning a congealed clot of blood also means something that clings, a leech-like substance. dr moore then studied the initial stage of embryo under a very powerful microscope and compared what he observed with a diagram of leech. as guess what, he was astonished at the striking resemblance between the two!

then, from that he acquired more info on embryology, that was not known to him, from the Quran. he then answered 80 questions regarding embryology and said after noting that info in Quran & hadis was in full agreement with the latest discoveries "if i was asked about these questions 30yrs ago, i would not have been able to answer of them for lack of scientific info".

what mommy want to say is, al-Quran is not only a thing to be recited during functions, funerals, or even you need something from Allah. it's a complete manual of human life and it covers everysingle thing from a single cell to the universe. like dr moore who i believe not a Muslim however he do research base on al-Quran and i want you not only to read the Quran to get barakah but also to learn about what is the content.

the Quran, is not a book of science, but a book of signs. signs to realize the purpose of our existence on earth and to live harmony with nature.

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

remember yesterday i was a bit upset when you slept all day long until it drove to write a note (yesterday's post) to sedapkan ati. eventually, you are a smart boy, about half past twelve, you gave your first kick. then about half an hour i spent my time enjoyed your movement while waiting for abi to come to bed. i wasn't notice anything that time.

only this morning until now i smell something, you kick, punch, turn, etc. and you are actually wanted to surprise mommy with...


thank you my dear. you are so smart until i couldn't perasan that your silent yesterday was actually a surprise to give me a birthday present. :)

you are the best birthday gift i ever had...

A Little Note for Today

walking back to the office after 2 weeks off making my officemates aware about your presence. before the break you were small and my tummy was not very significant, in fact i didn't use any maternity wear since it was too early for that. but now i have to wear maternity dress or pants or else i'll feel kelemasan in baju kurung.

as usual, not much work to do. i don't know whether i am lucky of disastrous, i've never feel the 'busyness of being an employee' as what others face. my job is just looking at the PC, talking to people, face the boss, handle meeting, talk and talk... result? nothing. hmm ok la forget about that. however i feel so happy with my boring job, at least i don't have to go offshore regularly, don't need to go outstation meeting regularly and have confident to proceed with my intention to fully breastfeed you.

as usual you don't kick vigorously when i'm in the office. maybe you just can feel how bored i am. sometimes i feel a bot worry when i don't feel your movement for the whole office hours. until i pap-pap my tummy (when having lunch with abi) to wake you up but you just 'jual mahal'.

this evening when we rushed back home cos abi had netball training (he was 'invited' to play netball with the ladies), you started to give a little kick. but not very strong & frequent. until i put al-Quran cd and played it on you started to move, turn, and kick. so i let it played via speaker instead of headphone so that i can do my routine job-cook for dinner.

i have a mother instinct that you would become a generous person someday, as what we named you and call you with since last 2-3 months. now you are very generous to your mommy, you don't kick during office hour to ensure i can concentrate on my boring job and not just thinking about you all the time. and you become very active at home because it's family time! thank you honey!

it's midnite and mommy have to sleep. you can continue the game if you want! :)

midnite? ops! it's my birthday!

Short of Breath

actually i'd face this problem long ago. since i was a school kid, i had problem with my breath. shortness of breath. sometimes, especially when the climate was cold, i might suffer SOB. i can't breath properly and like tercungap2 to bernafas. however when i told mum, she said nothing wrong with me. when i grow up, i always refer this problem to doctors and they told me my system is normal. most of them told me that it was happen because of stress. yeah maybe...

now, as you're getting bigger, SOB is getting more significant. these 2-3 nites i couldn't sleep well. can't breath. somewhere at 1 or 2a.m. i'd awake and only able to sleep again after 2-3 hours of tossing and turning. and imagine how could i wake up for the morning routine...

this makes me a bit suffer since i forgot to bring hot oil to rub my back when this happen. just imagine i am alone while both of you are sleeping, struggling to change my position in order to allow my diaphragm to expand. sometimes i have to get up from bed and have a 2 steps walk so that i can fill my lung with oxygen. at the middle of the nite like that, i don't have heart to wake abi up to give me backrub. then i have to backrub myself. huhu.

think i have to look for hot oil to ease this thing. and sleep in semi-sitting position even if i am not even in the 3rd trimester yet. huhu. oh and, free myself from stress. am i in stress now? hell, yeah. i am spending my time thinking about my younger brother who is interested to further study in automotive at an IPTS despite his not-good SPM result. my concern was, if he fail to excel in his studies, my parents have to take it all. as an ex-engineering student, i know how tough engineering is. with the result, i can smell that he may end up early graduation or have to wait for another years to grad. the main thing is money, when u go to IPTS college, it's just like you borrow a bundle of money for business. if you do good, your result is power, you'll have no problem to pay the loan back. if your result is UNDER PROBATION, you still have to pay, and who's gonna hire an UNDER PROB student? phew~ this is the challenge of being a first born, and this what you may face when you grow up.

i'd expect this may disappear as i go into labor cos you'll drop into my pelvis during that time. and hopefully nothing would stress me.

Pregnancy Worries

since the first day i notice that i am carrying you, i can't stop myself from worrying. yeah, pregnancy is a natural journey, and not all journey end up you reach the destination.

1. ectopic pregnancy - the implantation occurs at fallopian tube instead of in the uterus.
2. missed miscarriage - when embryo stops growing but the pregnancy goes on. the baby dies however it still remain in the uterus. no bleeding & pregnancy symptoms still on. the embryo may shrink gradually. and the doctor would notice thru ultrasound, no heartbeat and embryo is smaller than is should be.
3. chemical pregnancy - embryo dies right after conception. caused by chromosome abnormality and hormone insufficiency. usually moms get +ve result of UPT test however it changes to -ve after several days.

1. still have chances of miscarriage - about 20% of miscarriage occurs during second trimester as result of anomaly in the uterus such as incompetent cervix or placenta.
2. early labor due to incompetent cervix.
3. premature placenta abruption. where placenta disattach from uterus prematurely.
4. pre-eclampsia, caused by defect of placenta.
5. insufficient or too much amniotic fluid.
*the youngest baby alive recorded is a girl born at her 22nd week. however medical practitioners get confidence that fetus at 24weeks onward may alive under observation. the record made in the US, not in Malaysia.

1. bleeding which due to abruption placenta.
2. preterm labour.
3. post term.
4. IUGR or fetal growth retardation, where the fetus stops growing at certain week (before 36th) and have to go operation immediately.
5. hypertension.
6. diabetes.

there might be several more, but i am too scare to know about them. to overcome those worries, i keep on thinking positively, and imagine that you are in my arms, stay here safe and sound.

my dear, we have passed the first trimester beautifully, and at the middle of second trimester. lets' pray together so that Allah will take care of us, especially you since i can't see you with my eyes, only with my heart. take care of yourself eh!

Detail Scan

when we went for detail scanning yesterday, you weren't that active as the day before. i was told that during the 5th month, detail scanning will be done to check your internal major organs such as brain, heart, kidneys, spine... your fingers as well as your sex!

your brain shows a normal progress, your heart has 4 rooms, your spine is normal, your have 10 little fingers.. and everything is normal. syukur... however the doctor couldn't see your kidney. she said maybe you just pee-pee.

when dr aida asked me about " do you wanna know your baby's gender?" i looked at abi with my eyes gestured "do you?" abi said that it was me who wanna know the sex of baby i am carrying. then i told dr aida, yes. then the news rejoiced me. you are 99% a boy!

we were the most happiest parents to hear the news. even of there was still 1% of uncertainty but yeah since this is Allah's work so we left it to Him. however the first impression was really impress us.

today, you didn't kick very much, just rolling and changing position. i tot maybe you were tired cos you haven't take any rest since our journey from KL. okla.. sleep well my little boy... :)

22 week fetus

say now is honeymoon stage of pregnancy. i think, maybe... however i'm still feel uneasy with Miri food. this morning i threw out all kuetiow made in cafetaria. lucky i could finish a plate of nasi + ayam goreng at selera melayu. thanks selera melayu!

we had our month-5 scan this noon. you are progressing very well and very actively! just during the scan you didn't kick as what you did in the flight yesterday. however, you're moving and moving until the gynae found out that it is not easy to see you. but ah, you suck you hand... not only your thumb :P however, maybe fortunately, you were very proud to show who you are exactly until the gynae could sure 99% that you are.. what we expect! insya-Allah.. ameen...

now your eyelids and eyebrows are fully formed. and studies say that you can hear more clearly than before! studies also found that if i read any book for you now, when you are born, you'll suck more vigorously if i read the same book i read to you when you were in my uterus. hmm.. look like i have to buy some children story books for you to hear. but i find that you really enjoy the music & al-Quran recitation from headphone i put on my tummy. you look calmer and don't play soccer. good boy huh? playtime is during my bed time :)

dear honey, i really enjoy this journey with you. you really make me proud and happy. you are active and strong. and you are cute too!

and for me, mommy try to gain weight about 225gram per week, making our next appointment i would gain 1 more kg!

We're Back and You....!!!

last nite mommy couldn't sleep. not sure why. maybe because of abi didn't turn up on bed, he was busy with his work copying mbah samni's book. then both (three?) of us slept at 3am, set the alarm at 6.30 but i wasn't sure we woke up on time or not :P

it was the day.. where our flight has been scheduled. we went to KLIA at 11am. mommy didn't notice your excitement, very different than 3 days back where we missed our flight, you kicked and punched the whole morning to tell us that our flight should be in the afternoon! we tot it was at night.. the we missed it. woooo!!!!!

you were just laid down, maybe sucking your finger whilst hugging the umbilical cord. until we entered the cabin and i had to sit far from abi. his seat was at 16 where ours were at 20. in my row, it was a big family, 2 parents and 4 kids, who were actively walk here and there. i felt a bit disturbed but i just kept silent.

and you... you baby... you kept on jumping and kicked my bladder. i told you several time very nicely "baby please don't kick mommy's bladder... please kick mommy's tummy not the bladder". sometimes i put my hand on the upper part of my tummy to encourage you to kick my hand instead of kept on kicking my half full bladder. but you were just... urgh! until i had to say "i'm gonna beat you if you do that again!" however... how could i beat my own baby inside my tummy... and you kept on jumping and kicking on and on. until we reached miri airport and i rushed to the toilet.

it was something in The Star kept my eyes on. it was an article by a mom who has late-talking dotters. too long to write it here, but the morale is, i don't have to worry if you are gonna be slow to talk. you're gonna develop in your own pace and early talking doesn't indicate that you are genius or what. i take it as a reminder to me so that i won't push you too hard to talk and enjoy your babbling. huhu. please talk early... i need someone to chat with...


i would consider myself lucky for not having severe backpain throughout this journey (at least so far) carrying you. but i had it once after 8-hours bus ride from KB to KL last week, for the whole day i can't sit and sleep properly, having a damn cracking backpain. other than that, i am OK.

this is not uncommon for about 5 to 7 mommies out of 10 will have severe backpain during pregnancy. and the period range varies from mom to mom, some have it throughout the pregnancy, some have it starting from 2nd trimester and some have it during the 3rd trimester. the contributing factors are varies, depending on the mommies' health, weight, lifesyle, etc.

since only during pregnancy mommies having this, i would expect it is because of these:
  • hormonal change - during pregnancy a hormone releases from lower ligamen at the pelvic area to allow it soften and loosen the join to prepare for the birth.
  • changing posture - as the baby grows, the centre of gravity of mom's body moves to the other point.
  • more weight - mom's back has to support more weight as the baby grows (and mom's too!).
  • stress.
avoiding backpain.. actually i never plan to avoid since i was made to know that backpain is common after the morning sickness attack to i made myself ready. however, i'm still finding the best way to minimize the attack by:
  • taking calcium.
  • get enough rest and sleep.
  • say no to heels.
  • don't think about this discomfort, enjoy playing with the moving you!
last week when i had it after the bus ride, i just used hot oil and asked abi to do a tender massage on my back and lay down on my side to avoid weight on my backside. well it was only for a day and i woke up the next morning with no more pain!

i hope the other mommies will be OK handling their discomfort and they would know it is just a normal backpain or rhymatic cramping pain that might be sign for preterm labour!

Amniotic Fluid

during the first trimester, my body own circulation, placenta and amniotic membran produced fluid to fill the amniotic sac as you grew. then, you swallowed the amniotic fluid, filter it through your kidneys and pass it out again as urine. (it's your urine OK!) you also excreted some fluid from your lungs. and, actually you are the one who balance the fluid, as you swallow and pee. the more you drink (swallow the fluid)+less pee-pee = less fluid. less drink+more pee-pee=more fluid. however, amniotic sac and your umblical cord help in balancing the fluid as they will absorb the excessive.

you should notice that the fluid volume increases in 2nd trimester (where we are now) and it will decline in the next trimester. however, there is about 12% of mommies who face insufficient amniotic fluid of called oligohydramnios. this happens for some reasons: the baby has kidney or liver problems, mom's leaking membrane, placenta fails to provide enough nutrient, and TTTS (twin to twin transfusion syndome where one baby pumping the nutrient she suppose to take to her twin and causes her room get low fluid while the other room get more.

besides, there is also maternal problem of having too much amniotic fluid or called polihydramnios. this might be suspected on mommies who the size is larger than their date, i.e. 5months pregnancy but look like 7months already. the causes might be because of the baby diffuculty to swallow and make her kidney processes more urine, mom's multiple pregnancy, diabetes or TTTS. the biggest risk of this is early labour, and this might lead to placenta abruption or cord prolapse those will cut off the baby's oxygen supply.

however, i, and other mommies have no control on this. it is your role to ensure that you drink and pee-pee so-so to balance the volume. and for me, some people believe that my fluid intake will influence the amniotic fluid. so i take plenty of water and enough rest.

have fun kicking, punching, rolling, etc, in me. and don't forget to drink and pee-pee very moderately! :) my sweet boy~

Braxton Hick

as my tummy getting bigger, and you getting heavier, Braxton Hick contraction becomes more significant to me. i can feel my uterus stretch than soften again. it is sligthly dishtinguishable from you movement and kicking. it seems like my belly is tightened, like you are doing stretching but i know it is the false labour.

actually the uterus, where you're accomodated, needs to stay strong to support you and your siblings later. it is contracts even before you are in but of course i don't even notice. and as you get bigger, i can feel the mild contraction from time to time. actually i started to feel it since our 18th week. i will get these contractions more frequently as we get closer to the due date. Braxton Hick contractions do a great deal of work for us, preparing my body for labor.

it's not bother me at all. unless yet. i guess in the late pregnancy it will give more discomfort to me. and i have to relax and do something that can make me forget about it like go shopping (hehe) or watch movies. or it might be because of dehydration of my position. so i have to drink more water and change position. in case it is disturbing...

no, it is normal honey. it's not dangerous and it's significantly different than the true ones. true contractions usually start in my back and radiate forward. Braxton Hick contractions are only in my belly and may only consist of a part of my belly getting hard. and not painful, very short in duration and have no pattern. i may have a group of 4 or 5 of these little contractions in 10 minutes and then nothing for hours. true contractions get closer together, are stronger, are usually painful and have a pattern. oh, i hope i am ready for this!

so don't worry yar honey if you feel your home suddenly becomes tighten. it's just for a couple of second and it'll be OK. as long as it's not 40-week contraction that a sign for you to come out! can't wait to meet you!


now our dilemma is how to bring these 18kgs thingies to Miri...

Gaining Weight

my last record was 48kg during month 4. it was just about 2kg more than my normal weight before you come. this make Abi a bit worry since our gained weight is almost minimum. the truth was, i couldn't eat and no appetite. how can i gain so much weight...

when we came back to Peninsular, a drastic change happened. if in Miri i just can have 2-3 suap nasik, here 2-3 pinggan! my answer when people ask about Miri's food -"xsedap!" and guess who's the happiest person? of course your Abi. and me too since i don't feel hungry no more. and since, yesterday i went to Uwan's house and measure my weight.. guess what? we're 52kg! owh my... it's 6kg and above normal! the normal is only 51.5kg (5.5kg additional) :P

i am a bit curious about my weight gain since i am a kinda person who's not easily lose weight. and i dont want to be overweight during pregnancy however i still need to gain extra weight or my body may start to break down its own storage of fat and create substances called ketones, which can be very harmful to you.

well, it's not about how fast/effective we are gaining weight but what we take to gain that weight. if i am BIG and HEAVY with my own fat.... that's no point to be happy. and if my tummy is BIG and heavy with a-bigger-than-normal-baby you, it's also unusual. it might be the sign of diabetes, the thing i really afraid of. i don't want tp break down my sugar reaction! since i love to take sugar.

nevertheless, i am so happy for this. but i dont know whether i still can eat like this once we go back to Miri.