This Blog is Dedicated to...


Can't You Wait for Another 2 and Half Week?

it was our very first meeting with dr awang nila, i would say, a senior o&g specialist of the very perdana specialist hospital (PSH). he is a very friendly guy, very senior,i think about my dad's age. and an hour session with him provided us (Mommy&Abi) lots of info (some we never came across neither from readings nor the stories of others). and he looked like a teacher, drew diagrams & graphs, wrote on papers, showed us this & that...

his first question was about the EDD. we told him that it supposed to be in 13th october. he drew a line, marked it with 13/10=40wks and where we are now, 37wks 4days. he said, the best time for a preggy mother to give birth is at her 38weeks, and he stated, for me it should be on the 29th. a 38weeks fetus is matured enough to be born, and he said, if i had any problem like breech baby or any pregnancy-induced desease, he would let you out at our 38weeks. and for a test tube baby, in any case, at 38 weeks, he'll be born. furthermore, when i told him your last week's weight was 2.5kg, he said, if you gan 300grm per week, you're gonna be very big for me. in average, a normal baby should be 3kg above, but for me, he said i am too petite for a normal size baby. he expected you to be a small baby, but he said over and over again "this is not gonna be a small baby". an average, is not necessarily applies to everybody. like when we buy a shirt, i may fit S size, but my friends may not. some may fit M, L, XL or even XXL. measuring a healthy pregnancy is not relative to baby's weight alone but also mom's size. but at these weeks, he said it is impossible to control your weight, since you are already developing your own fat and carbohydrate.

the, we went to the ultrasound couch. and it was proven that you are big :) 2.8kg, my limit! again, he mentioned about our uncompatible sizes... duh! he showed us your big scrotum, caused by your abdomen fluid which was not cleared, but he said it's normal and no need to worry. just, you'll be born with a big scrotum. huhu. but there was some good news. your position was perfect, the placenta was posterior, amniotic fluid was 14 (should range 8-18), and you're 1/5 engaged! and the matured placenta, meaning you're ready to be born at anytime...

dr awang told us about what to do, if the signs of labor appear. a normal labor should start with 'show' or mucus+blood would come out, followed by painful, rhytmitic contraction, every 60mins, every 30mins.... until it getting more frequent up to every 2 minutes. i shouldn't be at the hospital if the mucus appear, but wait until the contraction comes in every 10 minutes. he said, some women get the 'show' and only 3 days after the contraction started. and he didn't want to keep me in the ward for nothing, hehe. and another sign of abnormal labor, is the water break. if this happen, i should rush to the hospital, cos when the water break, meaning the risk of infection to you is high. anything from outside might goes in the uterus and affect you. so, if this happen, even of without pain, he need me to be in the hospital immediately.

and he had another point of view about epidural. he said, his usual practise is not giving epidural in instant, but only after looking at the mother's condition. if the mother needs pain relief, he may provides the etonox or injection. then only if she can't cope with them, he'll call the anaesthetic for epidural. and as well as the baby's position, if there's no need for forcep or vacuum, he doesn't suggest epidural. we asked about the risk, he said 1 in a million is paralyse. and 1 in a hundred is severe headache, if the epidural doesn't hit the right place on the spine, causing spinal fluid to come out. and there's never 100% of succeed, even if it is done by the most specialist in the world.

for episiotomy, he said, the routine practise is, every first time mom should go for episiotomy, but currently they changed the routine. if there's no need for episiotomy, he won't cut my perineum! unless if there's need for forcep, vacuum or oversized baby that may cause severe tear to the mother. phew, big relief for Abi. as possible as it could, he doesn't want any part of my body to be cut :D

but i still feel a bit worry, cos dr awang said that, labor will come at anytime. after all, you are in your position, plus you are big, and heavy. actually we really want you to be born on the 13th october... but if you decide to come earlier, hmmm.. what can i do than letting you, but just make sure it happens when Abi is still with us OK (Abi's going back to Miri on the 30th).

back from the hospital, we went for shopping again :) we got what we still had in our list: detergent for your wardrobe, your bottles' cleanser, your towels, disposable diapers, my maternity pads, disposable panties and post-natal supplement. i add vita E, zinc and alfalfa for post-natal beside what i currently take. i should be ready for labor at anytime, so no more 'wait' to have everything perfect in the hospital bag.

i'm not sure about my feeling now. excited? afraid? blank? hmmm.. i have no idea. if only i can decide.. i would make your DOB on 13th october, but this is not my job now.. it's you (definitely it's Allah's job)! so i just.. waiting for your arrival :) but again please don't let me be alone in the labor room. i need Abi with me OK. :)

baby, can't you wait for another two and half week?

Bye Bye Miri....

my 36++ weeks belly.

today is our last day in Miri. my last day at work.. i would say, hectic & a bit tense.the project i am handling suddenly came into chaos when we have to do the tendering ourselves instead, before this we agreed to source it out to other region. and my boss insisted me to do a presentation in management committee meeting next monday. i said, sorry boss. after all, this is my final week to get rid of these. but, still happy. i'm leaving for a long vacation after all :)

today we had visitors, uncle Wan Hidayat came to my office & dropped by my workstation to say hello. he had a presentation in the auditorium. hehe. cool presenter, huh? Cik Adda also visited us this morning, and she gave this lovely socks to you :)

thanks Cik Adda!

we left the office a bit late since Abi had a meeting with the GM. so, when will Abi be a GM? hm, i hope he's gonna be one, but at other company la. hehe. we bought ikan terubuk masin to bring back. so expensive!!! they said the fish is pupus currently. RM12 for two, instead of RM10 for three.

we don't have much things to bring onboard. just my & Abi's wardrobe, plus some little things of yours. most importantly, these document those should not be forgotten.

CW: the ticket, the antenatal record or red card, the passport.

some friends asked me about air travel. the FAQ are "isn't it only at 7months you are allowed to travel by plane?" "still can travel by plane with this big tummy?" "how can you travel by plane, you're heavily pregnant?" and many more.

actually, air travel is usually completely safe for pregnant women, as long as there are no complications with the pregnancy and not flying too close to the due date. after all, our flight is not that long. as per 2nd trimester is honeymoon phase, so it is the safest time to travel by air. at 1st trimester, the risk of miscarriage increases and at 3rd trimester, increasing the risk of early labor. however, normal practice for Malaysia Airlines, from 28 to 36 week, a doctor's letter is required to state that i am fit for air travel :) so, after 7 months still can fly, with a letter form doctor.

the letter.

i miss Abi already.... we have only a week to spend with him, and later for almost 3 months.. it's only you & i. i really want to make this coming week the most memorable moment for us, before your arrival. and when we get together with Abi again, everything would be different. we are parents sooner!

three of us with someone in invisible mode.


Final Check Up With Dr Aida!

i should bring my camera then...

today was our last check up with Dr. Aida at Columbia Asia. next week, we'll follow up with Dr. Awang Nila at Hospital Pakar Perdana! can't wait to be there!

Dr Aida asked about my UTI, alhamdulillah it was OK then. my KPI is to finish up 3L mineral water per nite and as a result, beside curing my UTI i also have to wake up every hour to pee-pee. but it is not big deal, at least i'm able to wake up before 4.00am to prepare for sahur.

i asked Dr Aida about my ability to puasa, she said no problem. i have no problem with myself, not feeling tired nor any sign of sickness, and your condition is good. plus, the amniotic fluid is at normal rate and your movement is active as usual (unless the day Mommy overslept & terlepas sahur, you didn't move the whole day. really worry you know!). Dr Aida advised me to puasa until the day of delivery. alhamdulillah. finally i feel so motivated to perform my puasa without worrying about your condition.

for labour, Dr Aida recommended to take epidural. wah, this is a good news for Abi. he really wants me to get that pain-free medium. then i told Abi, we'll see.. look if my condtion says i'm gonna need it... we'll make an appointment with the anesthetic, if my dilation is very poor, just gimme that epidural. if not, let me bear with the pain. huhu. will i?

when Dr Aida selak Mommy's shirt.. hooh!!! my reddish tummy appeared. "so gatal la doctor.." i complained. she suggested to put toner on it. it acts as coolant. hm.. but i haven't put it yet. lately my tummy's getting itchy and itchy. it started on the first day of Ramadhan. i think it's because of our limited water intake for one whole day. then makes my skin dehydrates. but again, thanks to Bio-Oil. it helps very much in re-hydrating my skin and reduce the itchiness!

this week, Mommy gain 1kg from last 2 weeks, making my weight now is 56kg. and your weight is 2.5 kg. a big boy now huh... and you really like to show you 'boy' lately. shuda tidak malu yar.... and now you are in the right position, with your head down (it was since the last 2 months, alhamdulillah). Dr Aida said, how if i'm going into labour during Aidilfitri? wow, that's what i really want!

it's only 3 weeks left (if only we manage to reach our EDD). this makes Mommy reminiscing my very first day welcomed you in my tummy. i couldn't blog much, typing 2-3 words made me dizzy and drowsy. i even couldn't sit on this very chair. i need to lay down all the time. even when Abi wanted to cut my hair, i couldn't stand it. only a few cm then i told Abi to stop. i need to lay my body down! and we had to postpone our trip to Brunei several times. i threw almost all meals out! until we found out that i only could go on with western food :) i slept in office's surau everyday. i couldn't wear proper shirt at home. i didn't do house chores for months. etc. etc.

i really enjoy this pregnancy. even if sometimes it is painful, tiring, boring... but it is a great pleasure when i realize that here is someone in my belly. it's you. mine and Abi's blood.

Confinement List

as we are now in the week of 36, i should be prepare for the birth that is approaching. confinement! i already booked a set of bengkung+massage oil plus some edible herbs from my friend. i don't have plan to take any consumable confinement set or jamu since i plan to breastfeed, and i'm gonna continue taking my shaklee pills for confinement.

and since i bought many packs of this herbal pads before i got pregnant, i'm gonna use them later. i heard that herbal pad is very good for post-natal. should it has cushion effect? or maybe i have to put it in two layers?

i bought this bio-oil as suggested by aunt shasuya, with a little hope that it may help in reducing the effect of this pretty ugly stretch marks. at least the silver linings won't be visible to my naked eyes, after your birth day. you know how this thing makes me feel a bit downzzzzz.

and this dry shampoo, since it is not recommended to have frequent bath during confinement.. and i don't want my hair to be stinky!

tungku, urut, and all those things associated, i have no worry since in my kampung, those bidans & tukang uruts are available anywhere, anytime. furthermore, my mom has her very own batu tungku and don't have to buy for any tungku equipment. and i'm really into yu yee oil. it helps me to reduce my short of breath.

those sweater, blanket, kain batik, socks, etc. are already available at my parents' house. and i bought this kind of head scarf, imported from Indonesia. would be very convenience if we have any non-mahram visitors :) easy to wear huh.

the only thing is, we can't have Abi by our side all the time. most probably he's gonna see us only one time in November and again in December, to take us back to Miri purposely. so miserable but that's the best option we have, since the transportation cost from Miri-Kota Bharu-Miri is more than a thousand. oh dear, that one we can't afford. luckily my mom lives in kampung, with my nenek2 & those elders hopefully my confinement will run smooth :)

i hope that the 2-months period is gonna be a good time for us. no office work, no housework... only spending our time alone! poor Abi, huh, has to cook, do laundry, tidy up the house, sleep.. all by himself...!

No More Pain!

i got 3 days MC. initially it was because of severe backache and contraction i was having almost everynight and morning. last time i was told by Dr Aida that i was experiencing pelvic joint soften, or stretching. she offers me physiotherapy sessions if the pain is still there. so , we went again to the clinic, intended to do the physiotherapy.

Dr Aida asked me about the pain. where dis it started, how was it felt, etc. she asked me to lay on my back and lifted my leg 90degrees... no pain at all. she said, "this is not because of your pelvic joint. it must be something else". she asked Monica, her nurse to check my urine... and..

"i suspect this is kencing kotor (urinary tract infection)"


it is a common disease during pregnancy, coz the uterus sits on the top of my bladder, and as the uterus grows, the weight can block the drainage of urine from bladder, causing infection. i had these symptoms but i tot they were just normal with regards to pregnancy:-
  • frequent urination - common thing during pregnancy, right?
  • feeling of urgency when you urinate
  • cramps or pain in the lower abdomen - ... i tot it was contraction
  • waking up from sleep to urinate - everynite
  • change in amount of urine, either more or less - lesser recently
  • urine looks cloudy, smells foul or unusually strong
lucky i referred immediately to Dr Aida, not taking it as something 'common'. if the infection is untreated, it may lead to kidney infection, and may cause early labour & low birth weight. but hey, now is not early anymore and your weight ain't low!

Dr Aida gave me antibiotic to consume. it is soluble type to have together with water. the blue one to consume immediately and for one time only and the green one to be taken 3 times a day. i like the taste, the blue one tastes like limau bali & the green one tastes like ENO :P actually, this served me right coz i refused to take plenty of water recently. so leceh to go in and out the toilet.

Dr Aida gave me 48 hours to be back to normal (no more pain) or else, she's gonna diagnosis me for kidney problem. and full lists of do's and dont's.

the DO's
  • drink plenty of water
  • urinate often
  • take vitamin C
  • change inderwear everyday
  • empty bladder immeadiately after sex
  • take shower
  • change pantiliner often

the DONT's
  • consume refined food, caffeine, sugar
  • soak in bath tub
  • using feminine hygene
alhamdulillah. last nite i consumed 3L of mineral water, and i could sleep without any pain on my back and abdomen. yo Mommy! don't ever ignore your water intake!

lucky i have this at my 35th week. if it was earlier, i must be in deep worry.

tomorrow, we're gonna start our very first day of Ramadhan. and tomorrow is Abi's birthday. hmm, any suggestion to surprise Abi?


i should be ready for your arrival, in term of your thingies + mine in case you decide to put in an early appearance. but, because of many constraints, i unfortunately can't make it. we will only fly back to my hometown in the next 2 weeks, and i don't have anything with me right now. it's just 2-3 thingies those will not be enough to welcome a baby!

this is what we ONLY have here. CW: napkins, nasal aspirator, baby wipe, booties & mittens, blanket, cot sheet, cornstarch powder and head-to-toe wash.

worst case (if you're still stubborn), we're gonna stay in Colombia Asia until our supposed-to-fly-day comes. lucky the company pays! actually, i should be worry about it. i have many friends gave birth at 36 weeks. but still... be positive!

in this almost final stage of pregnancy, i have to deal with discomfort that i never experience before. my backache becomes frequent. and the Braxton Hicks too. and aches around my pubic area and groin. lucky me, it just happens over the weekend. changing position, not much help. but i feel released when my back is massaged by Abi, with full of his love and care :) but not all the time. usually i have to do self-massage. Abi is very busy lately, get many things to do before taking a week leave to send us to my hometown.

and i can feel my uterus is just below my breast. no wonder your legs are always hitting my ribcage. i have to sit straight, and it's quite disturbing especially during meal time. with the lower-than-my-chest-table, i can't bend my back to enjoy the food, or you'll give me a great kick on my ribs. and my mouth start to bising2, asking you to stop. and usually, you listen!

i start to perform perineal massage, even if i'm very confident that episiotomy is very common in most hospital in Malaysia, huhu. i don't think can avoid it, plus, you're big! and i started to chart your movement. however, i can't commit most of the time. haha. but since you're always moving, Mommy don't feel worry.

our preparation is more towards this coming Ramadhan. hopefully i would be able to fast, for the one whole month. last weekend, we went to Boulevard, bought 2 packets of dates, just a-week stock, before going home. one pack for RM2.20 and another one for RM13.60, for 7 bijik only!

this kind of date priced RM75 for 2kgs.

Abi is very confident that i wouldn't have any problem with regard to fasting since i showed a good record when performing my qadha'. plus, your weight gain is very progressive recently (even Abi can see my tummy is getting bigger day by day), so Abi says there's no problem for me to fast. insya-Allah.

last weekend, we planned to go to Sibu. however we just able to arrive at Bekenu & Niah only. i think you didn't allow us to go to Sibu before you come, you wanna see Sibu as well ah? Bekenu is a small town, about half an hour from Miri. we didn't take any picture coz it was raining, cat & dog. it was just a 'jalan-jalan kenal Bekenu' only.

i asked Abi to extend the journey to Niah, despite the heavy rain. however, we hadn't go into the cave, just around the head quarter office's yard. maybe some other time, when our family from Peninsular comes, then we'll make an adventure journey to Niah Cave.

Mommy at Niah. so poyo.

on the way home, we dropped by Luak Esplanade Beach. my first time ever! not many people there, it was very midday :)

i like beaches. especially Miri, can see platforms from onshore.

and we bought this. i dont know its name, but since the shape is similar to Shell logo, we call it shell. so yummy... buat sambal tumis.


When I Remember When

it seems like a blink.

from this single cell...

plus this single cell...

.. become this

what a miracle! it takes only 38 weeks from two single cells which the biggest one is only about 0.006inch, a dot big, and the other one is far more smaller, merged into one single cell and divide themselves into cells and cells and millions of cells, forming a baby!

<-- this how you look like when Mommy confirmed my pregnancy. and this is how you look like today. -->

from something that doesn't resemble human at all, now you are a perfect baby of ours! you have no idea how Mommy was in the deepest part of my worry during the time you still have tail. with you unformed or just formed brain and heart, Mommy prayed everyday so that you brain, heart and other organs would naturally developing and functioning. alhamdulillah, during the second visit (where i had a very severe morning sickness) the doktor said your heart has beating (even if i couldn't see anything on the screen).

this is the biggest miracle happens in my life. a soul is living inside me. even if i know about pregnancy long ago, but i'm still amaze. i have you in my tummy! even if everymom has her child inside hers but i am still flooded with astonishment. how the Almighty creates this special ability to women to carry a person in her abdomen.

it happens so fast. i still feel like yesterday. the days when i was studying, surrounded with my best friends. the gap between my teen age and my 20s is very wide. i spent my teen age and early 20s to enjoy the game with my friends, and at mid 20s, when i get married i suddenly had to retrieve and get more serious in this life.

sometimes, when i look at Abi, i feel like it's just a minute knowing him. sometimes, i just can't believe that i am becoming a mother! sometimes, i pinch myself to ensure that i'm not dreaming, for making my way to have a complete family of three! sometimes, i miss my childhood, and now i have somebody who's gonna spend his childhood as an apple of my eyes.

today, with only 5 weeks to your EDD, i still can't believe about my growing tummy. unless, after looking at this #&^&# stretch mark! oh no... isk3x... oh no...!!! 5 weeks... i believe that it shouldn't be long now. have to prepare mentally, at full blast. after all, Dr Aida predicted that you'll be born earlier due to your big size (at least compared to Mommy's body). whatever honey, but make sure your ic number will have 03 at the middle!

i still feel amaze. how a single cell of mine plus Abi's cell could combine to form a totally different individual!

it was a very long journey from 1st to 2nd trimester, but once we reached 3rd trimester, i have to run to catch the flying time!

Hi It's Me Again!

this morning Abi brought us to the clinic. actually Abi intended to bring us since last weekend because Mommy complained that she has very severe backache during the weekend, the thing she never experience before. but Mommy said she can endure and waited until today to see the doctor. Abi was very worry since this is his first time to become a father. he afraid if something serious could happen to Mommy and I. he's a good Abi, right?

Mommy told Dr Aida that lately she's frequently get legs cramp and backache especially when she lays down, whether on her back or on her side. Mommy thought it's because of my head pressing her pelvic bones. Dr Aida said, the ligament at her pelvic area starts to stretch to allow my head engages in the next few weeks. she said as well, if Mommy feels numb from waist to knee, it is because of her spinal stretchering. but it's just because of the ligament stretching. i hope it can fit me!

Mami, saya dah besar!

Mommy asked Dr Aida about my weight. i am approximately 2.3kg now. Dr Aida reminded Mommy to stop taking sugary food, because now is my time to accumulate fat in my own body. if she continues taking extra glucose, i'll be born chubby. Dr Aida said, my ideal weight for Mommy's body should be only 2.8kg. but, with my current weight, she predicted i might be born 3.++ kg. may be 3.4 or 3.5kg. oh, this bother Abi very much. he afraid if Mommy can't undergo normal birth. he doesn't want Mommy to go caesarian section coz he wants more kids. but i think we can make it. many petite ladies able to give birth to big babies naturally. Mommy said, her friend, aunty joely who is also very thin, gave birth to 3.75kg aqil naturally.

however, Mommy's still happy coz her weight doesn't change from last 2 weeks. she's still 55kg. she wants her weight to be maximum 59kg only. so this means, Mommy's getting lighter coz i gain weight everyweek.

we spent almost an hour in the consultancy room. Mommy asked a lot about babycare and breastfeeding. Dr Aida says, it is natural for newborns to lose weight during our first week and Mommy doesn't has to worry if her milk production very little in the first few days. she said, the Almighty has created my body to have enough supply even if Mommy will only produce colostrum during the time. and He creates me with a natural style of losing weight within a week of birth.

she suggested Mommy and Abi to train me, for not immediately feed me everytime i cry. she said, actually sometimes newborn just wants to cry but parents think he is hungry so they feed him. when this happen, it is set in the baby's head that, 'when i cry, Mom should feed me'. she advised Mommy to just poke me slowly when i cry at night (after checking my diaper & my tummy-no colic) so that i won't have a mindset of 'when i cry at night, Mommy should feed me', unless when i really in great hunger. i think she's right. sometimes i cry just because i want my Mommy. i want to ensure that i am not left alone.

Mommy and Abi had discussed about this. they said they won't let me to be a 'i need Mommy's shoulder baby'. Mommy's friend's mom once told that babies should be trained to not be pampered everytime we cry. if Mommy immediately hug me and hold me, later i'd set that, everytime i cry, Mommy should hold me. if she doesn't, i would cry louder. so the Nenek told to just call me by my name everytime i cry so that i will have a mindset that 'i need Mommy's voice to ensure Mommy is here'. she said, babies cry because we wanna ensure our moms are around. er... i have no idea. i don't even know how to cry :P but, i can guarantee, despite the theories, practices and advises, Mommy will be the one who's gonna hug, hold, kiss, carry me... bukan bole harap dia tu.

oh yes, this Friday, we're gonna have another day off. it's TYT birthday. Abi said, he's gonna bring us to Sibu. i have no idea where Sibu is and what the place is it. but they look excited especially Mommy coz she never go out from Miri (except Brunei trip last May) since she came here November last year. hm, hopefully this time the plan will success. Abi, i guess Mommy needs a break.

so Mommy, watch your food! no more cakes, no chocolates, no candies, no ice-cream, no iced longan, no no no sweet2 things. if your uterus can't bear my weight and it has to let me go off early, or, if you have to be induced because of my size, it's not my fault OK.

Mommy & I at Imperial Hotel last week.