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On Solids, Puasa & Fever

Mommy initially wanted to exclusive breastfeed (with no solids & no other liquid) until you're a year old. but Abiy would like it to be a bit later. Abiy, as possible as it can be want you to be breastfed exclusively (with no solids/other liquids) for 2 years. but it's seem like we have to change our plan because at 4 month:-
  • you started to get 'over excited' on foods (initially Mommy has to prepare an empty plate for you during mealtime but nowadays you know it's empty).
  • you can sit by your own on baby's high chair.
  • you don't drink during daytime (when Mommy's at work), [only 2 oz for all day long!] and even not so frequent during nighttime.
Mommy discussed with Abiy, that the best time to introduce solids is when you reach your 6 month. even if there's ideas of introducing solids at 4 months but Mommy found out that it's the age for formula-fed babies, and since you're a breast-fed baby, so the best time is at your 6 month, where at 4 month old, your system is just getting itself prepared for solids, not actually ready. Mommy said, it is 'amber light' and not yet 'green light'. even if out there many moms start at 4 month, but we beg to differ. we prefer later.

Mommy doesn't concern about introducing solids too early that may affect your young digestive system that will disturb your insulin production and lead to diabetes type 2 when you grow up. but what she concerns is, about exclusive breastfeeding as long as she wants. Mommy doesn't like the idea that we HAVE to give solids at 6 month, or else the babies will not get enough nutrient. and we think it is optional, since there are some stories from our Prophet's seerah telling that 'under 2 year old exclusive breastfeeding boy's urine (boys who ONLY have their mother's milk) is najis mukhaffafah (the lightest ones)'. we think it's not a ridiculous rule, it's just out of our normal practise (even in our society people start to give babies solids at 2-3 days old..).

when you don't like to have EBM in any ways, Mommy suggested that we intro you to solids at 6 month, but Abiy prefer later. the earliest is at your 8th month. we'll see how...

Mommy ain't happy with the idea because you start to not gaining weight. 8kg now and 8kg then. she thought it's because of your 'puasa'. and secondly she gets tired to see your behavior toward food.
  • sangat teruja sampai meleleh air liur everytime tengok kami makan.
  • tangan sangat teruja mencapai segala sudu, garfu, mangkuk, pinggan, foods.
  • bile tengok food, dah tak ada benda lain bole distract.
  • selalu kacau Mami makan dalam flight. sibuk nak pegang food & cawan.
  • always mimicking our kunyah2 when we have our meal.
  • you know what food is.
that's the sign for 'get prepare for solids' but not necessarily ready. Mommy said even if you're physically ready, but we can't see what's happening inside you, and it's irreversible. your digestive system might not ready and it might not react now (for introducing solids too early) but it might be in another 40-50 years. even if there's people say, it doesn't matter about solids, even a baby who had solids at 2-day-old, still alive & become somebody now. but we don't bother. that's their choice and this is our choice, and you're our son after all.

today your body temperature went up to 38degree C. we took you to Ampang Puteri too see the doctor. we thought it's because we brought you to the hospital the other day, when we went to see Tok Pa. the doctor at Ampang Puteri advised us not to bring babies to any wards, for you guys are very fragile, when exposing to many kuman2 in the wards. oh poor my boy, how silly we were...

Pumping with my Lord

things needed:
a set of telekung
a praying mat
a book of al-Quran or translation
a set of pumping gear

favorable place:
in a surau or any quite, private space

morning pumping session

step by step:
1. take wudhu'
2. wear telekung
3. prepare the praying mat, to the Qiblat
4. perform dhuha
5. prepare pumping gear
6. get the Quran or translation
7. start pumping
8. read the Quran or translation throughout the pumping

1. while i'm away & he is not on breastfeeding, he still gets the barkah from my milk, insya-Allah.
2. i get all the benefits, for my body and soul.
3. i have ample time for dhuha & reading the Quran.
4. i pump with my Lord!
and many more...

Tok Pa Part 1

Mommy is very busy so she handovered to me to write this time

it was a definite shock news for all of us. Tok Pa was a fit and very healthy, he takes care of his food intake and even activity. Jogging setiap petang, Abiy pun tak macam tu.

these 2-3 days, KL & Miri just like a kilometer away. three of us went balik to KL, rushingly last Thursday (last ticket!) after receiving news from KL that Tok Pa was warded due to acute ******a.

after getting the tickets from MAS office, Mommy took an hour to pack and prepare everything, before rushing to the airport. campak2 saja barang dalam bag. most importantly she had to prepare my things.
-my passport
-my stroller
-my diapers
-my clothes
-my nappies
-my toys
-my temperature reader (in case)
-my bottle & pump (in case - even if i really hate them!)

and thus she incidentally left some valuable items at home :D

i don't know much about what happened, but Mommy has many things to say. i know that she loves Tok Pa as she loves Tok Ayah. she used to stay with my Tok Pa & Tok Ma before got transfer to Miri. everyday she rode in Tok Pa's car to her office at KLCC.

now we're in Miri, just came back last nite. Mommy said i was so fussy in the plane, while she was alone handling me. Abiy stays with Tok Pa & Tok Ma coz nobody to take care of them. tomorrow we'll go back to Semenanjung and Mommy said we have to stay a bit longer to look after Tok Pa.

if i'm not on exclusive breastfeeding, i would like to stay with them.

me @Miri Airport

my stroller's tag

Mommy & me in the Airport Limo (Limo? Waja jer..)

me & the shawl Mommy uses to cover me during nursing in public, with Abiy as background.

me at Tok Pa's house.

Tok Ayah, Mak Tok, Aunty Fatin, Uncle Muhammad, Mak Ngah, Ayah Chik, Pak Uda, Pak Su, & all my friends,
let's pray so that Tok Pa will recover soon. i want to ask him to bring me to the park, and buy me ice-cream. hehe.

Tok Ma,
take care of your health too. i know Tok Ma also on high fever. i love you so much Tok Ma!

Abiy & Mommy,
please take care of my Tok Pa & Tok Ma Okay.

Tok Pa,
you HAVE to be strong and get back in pink of health. i want to play with you. and we can go to MPH together. i love reading you know.. just like you, Tok Pa. and i love you so much Tok Pa!

Tok Pa can you see me 'reading'?

Dear Allah,
please take care of my Tok Pa. give him strength to go through his disease with patient & redho. please give him a positive mind so that he will get strong and recover from time to time. bless him so that he will be OK, healthy and just stays here to watch me grow up. ameen~

Hafiy, Mami & Abiy mintak kawan2 doakanTok Pa Hafiy baik2 & sembuh mcm sediakala.

Hafiy sekeluarga di KL jenguk Tok Pa. Hafiy sayang Tok Pa.
tolonng doakan Tok Pa ye..

-updated by Aunty Bolly.

7 Habits of A Highly Effective Nursing Mom

mula2 sekali Mami tukar paradigma pemikiran kepada "SAYA BOLEH!" walaupun ramai org2 keliling kita yg gagal. so what? ramai orang pegi audition AF ok tp berapa belas orang je yg bole masuk [hehe, apsal bg contoh AF plak ni]. tapi dalam konsep ni, macam rezeki ALlah la.. bukan one cake for all tapi setiap orang ada kek masing2.

the first 3 habits is about private victory, yg mana Mami kena kuasai diri Mami sendiri dulu. ye lah, cemana nak yakinkan orang kalo kita sdr pon 50-50 kan? bab Allah izinkan tu cerita lain, yg penting usaha kita macamana. nak tawakal, mesti usaha dulu. insya-Allah, Dia akan bantu.

habit 1: be proactive
tak payah tunggu ada orang kat belakang yg pom-pom kan "go go u can do it girl!" utk Mami teruskan breastfeeding. mmg, kadang2 perlukan support tapi yg paling utama ialah tunjang dalaman yg kuat dan tegar. support aje banyak tapi dalam hampeh, xde maknanya kan. dalam apa2 jua pun, yg utama ialah 'core' dia. kalo x ada structure utama, support beribu tan pun roboh jugak bangunan.

Mami nak breastfeed so Mami yg kene tentukan & buat keputusan. tak payah tanya orang ni "OK tak kalo i breastfeed?" or orang tu "kalau i breastfeed agak2 OK x r..". i know breastfeeding is THE BEST and i can do it. so why not?

habit 2: begin with the end of mind
dalam apa2 pon kena ada plan & target. nak breastfeed, berapa lama? sebulan? 4 bulan? 6 bulan? setahun? 2 tahun? 3 tahun? dan dah ada target tu kena la ada strategi kan? buat mapping then barula nampak jalan ke sana.

macam kita nak drive dari Pujut ke ofis. targetnya ialah ofis. strateginya, mula2 kena la tahu jalan mana nak lalu. jalan Pujut ka, ikut Permyjaya ka, ikut Piasau ka, mana2 ka. kalo xtau, carila map. kalo men taram je ntah jalan mana2.. silap2 bukan sampai ofis Carig*li, tapi ofis ML*G plak. ahahahak.

Mami put my target as:
  • Short term : to maintain & increase milk production.
  • Medium term : to breastfeed for 2 years.
  • Long term : to have a happy, smart, healthy kids.

target & plan mesti kene tulis. a blunt pencil is better than a sharp mind.

habit 3: put first thing first
kena priority. kalo nak breastfeed, apa yg kena utamakan? antaranya, disiplin. frequent stimulation sgt perlu. pam tak boleh malas2, makan kena jaga, tak bole bukan2.

kat ofis, Mami letak target pam 3 kali sehari (base target). stretch 2, 4 kali sehari. stretch 1, 5 kali sehari. kalo 2 kali, outperform. hahaha. kt ofis mmg kena pandai priority. Mami setkan time pump pkl 9pg, 12.30tghr & 3.30ptg. kene plan siap2 apa akan berlaku the next day, i.e. meeting, discussion, training, etc. so that bole adjust pumping time. cthnya kalo meeting start pkl 9, so Mami awalkan session yg belah pagi tu. and so on.

4 habit seterusnya ialah tentang public victory, yg mana mengkisahkan kita dgn masyarakat dan orang lain.

habit 4: think win-win
contohnya macam ni. Mami nak breastfeed, so Mami kena spend time pumping everyday. tp Bos menyuruh buat kerja macam seekor robot. think win-win, kerja siap, pam setel. cemana nak think win-win, itulah sebab kita dah kuasai diri, dah plan, dah tau apa kita nak, dah ada priority so keutamaan diri dah jadi perkara utama. skg ialah memastikan orang lain juga dapat capai target mereka.

antara kawan2 breastfeeding Mami pun, insya-Allah kami cuba berkongsi rasa, kongsi rahsia, tips, etc. selagi boleh. sorang ibu yg menyusu akan suka lihat orang lain menyusu jugak. tak ada ibu menyusu (setakat yg Mami jumpa) kedekut ilmu, xmau share dengan sapa2, nak dia sorang je yg berjaya nyusu. inilah think win-win. semua dapat.

habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood
habit ni amat penting utk berhadapan dgn mommies yg bermasalah. Mami ada 1 mulut & 2 telinga, so perlukan byk masa utk mendengar. orang yg betul2 nak breastfeed tp tak berjaya, banyak faktor. jadi Mami tak bole pandai2 summarizekan masalah dia, biar dia cerita dulu barula Mami deliver my concern.

kalo sesorang ibu tu tak breastfeed, Mami tak bole hukum dia awal2 tanpa tahu apa sebenarnya berlaku. biar dia cerita dulu apa kejadiannya. then, bila dia dah selesa dengan kita, barula senang kita pula nak share pengalaman kita kan?

utk menangani mereka2 yg anti-breastfeeding pun bole pakai approach ni. instead of bertekak nak menangkan diri masing2, mtk mereka jelaskan kenapa anti? kenapa tak suka? then barulah kita share kan kita punya points.

habit 6: synergy
synergy ni more than collaboration and cooperation. ia adalah satu combined effort, satu simbiosis. semua orang mendapat kebaikannya. dan hasilnya bukan satu perkara saja, akan jadi banyak perkara. yg paling obvious bila Mami breastfeed, ia adalah satu hubungan simbiosis dgn Hafiy. Mami dapat bakar lemak (haha) & Hafiy dapat susu. dalam masa yg sama menguatkan bonding Mami-Hafiy, dan membekalkan Hafiy dgn nutrien yg optimum. wah, satu contoh synergy yg amat berkesan!

lain2, synergy Abiy-Mami. kuncinya senang je, buat Mami happy. bila Mami happy, bukan saja production susu sangat baik, malah bagi lebih banyak lagi... family kita pun ceria & bahagia, insya-Allah.

dalam kalangan kawan2 breastfeeding moms, ia macam satu ikatan yg membuatkan kita bersama2. Mami kan, dapat ramai kawan oleh sebab breastfeed ni. alhamdulillah. so dari satu faktor ni saja: breastfeed, Mami dapat bonus, new friends, new knowledge, new experience, etc. nice, kan?

habit 7: sharpen the saw
utk pastikan semuanya berjalan lancar, mestilah ada cycle yg betul. contohnya, malam b4 tido adalah masa utk muhasabah for the better tomorrow. pisau pun kene tajamkan juga lepas potong2. walaupun bersemangat, get full support, etc. Mami tak boleh biarkan diri, body, hati Mami wearing out. beside the high spirit, makan kena jaga, amalan kena jaga, kesihatan kena jaga, hubungan dengan orang lain kena jaga, etc.

at the end of the day, i found out that, semuanya anugerah Allah & rezeki-Nya utk dinikmati oleh Mami anak beranak. cemanapun, still need Mami punya self-driven. ya la, rezeki2 jugak, tapi rezeki tu tak datang bergolek. & Allah tu Maha Adil lagi Maha Kaya. setelah usaha bersungguh2 tp tak berjaya, mungkin ada sesuatu yg Allah sorokkan. jika berjaya, alhamdulillah itu mmg Allah dah reservekan utk kita.

yang paling penting ialah 3 habits pertama tu. itu kena kuasai dulu. itulah dia yg jadi akar tunjang sesuatu kejayaan. ye la, again kalo sendiri pun 50-50, mudah goyah, macamana nak teruskan perjalanan. foundation tu paling penting kalo nak buat bangunan.

semoga Allah izinkan Mami utk susukan Hafiy sampailah Hafiy 2 tahun ya. amiin. & ibu2 lain juga Mami doakan mereka semua berjaya mencapai target masing2. amiin.

Susu oh Susu

Mami pernah minum fresh milk 3 jenis binatang (susu yg diperah terus dari tetek binatang, bukan fresh mik dalam kotak/botol kat supermarket), kambing, lembu & unta. bukan Mami isap kat tetek natang2 tu tau! meaning, susu yg takde mengalami proses2 nyahinfeksi ke nyahbau ke apebende ke, perah & terus minum in-situ.

1. susu kambing
masa ni Mami kena Hepatitis A, masa sekolah rendah. antara ikhtiarnya minum susu kambing segar. ingat lagi kambing Tok Nah kena dera, pakat picit nenen dia perah susu kasik Mami minum. Mami lupa rasa dia cemana sebab tutup idung masa minum tu. tp yg konfem mmg rasa kambing la!

2. susu lembu
masa form 4, Mami tengah gila produk tenusu. hari2 minum susu. tak cukup susu kotak, Mami suh Tok Ayah beli susu lembu asli yg baru diperah. memang lembu betul rasanya! sebab tu la badan Mami sgt chubby di waktu itu.

3. susu unta
Mami minum ni ms p umrah before dpt kerja dulu (konon2 pegi mengadu nasib kutiadakerja!) disebabkan susu kambing rasa kambing, susu lembu rasa lembu, Mami rasa susu unta konfem rasa unta! tapikan.. salah! despite the bau unta yg busyyyuuk itu, susu beliau sangat lazat! lemak berkrim, rasa mcm susu marigold HL. serius memang sedap sangat. Mami siap tambah2 lagi kat ladang unta padang pasir tu. wah teringinnya! sedapp!!!

tapi Mami tak penah try susu sendiri ;P

Before I Breastfeed...

before my baby was born, i always love to share my dream with other moms : to breastfeed my baby. the most popular responds i got was like...

"tak payahla breastfeed, susah. leceh nak kena pam2, nak handle lagi leceh"
"ko keje, mana boleh nak breastfeed"
"mengarut je. ko kan kene outstation selalu. nak wat cemana tu?"
"susah nanti ko nak cari babysitter/nursery yg nak jaga budak breastfeed"
"kalo susu ko ada, bole la nak breastfeed"
dan sebagainya.

i was yet a Mommy that time, so i left them with no comment. but in my head, i want to prove to them that despite the 'good excuses' [since they used the reasons above to answer why don't they breastfeed], i can manage to breastfeed my son as long as i want.

[but i'm considered lucky cos those persons are not my mom, nor my MIL, nor my grannies, nor my aunties, nor my sisters. my family give me fully support to breastfeed, even if none of them ever did this.]

i guess nowadays, we can find working-nursing-moms everywhere. i don't understand why there's still such idea that "tak bole menyusu sebab kerja..". yeah maybe out there some mommies really don't know about this but please don't say "mana bole bf, kan kerja.." to others. kalo ye pun cakapla "bole ker bf & kerja?" bila orang tanye, ye dak?

& if you malas to breastfeed, malas to handle breastmilk, malas to pump, etc. let it be your personal problem sudahlah. don't drag everybody to join your kemalasan tu. i don't mind if anybody doesn't want to breastfeed sebab malas, but don't promote it to others. if you don't want to give your baby your milk, don't ask others to. if you think you baby don't deserve your milk, other babies deserve. you think all moms are malas like you ka?

another excuse i really don't like is about the babysitter or nursery. if nursery A can't, go to nursery B lah. if both can't, find other nursery la... okay2, i don't wanna comment lebih2, it's their choice, but to me, my children's' welfare is 100% on me. if to find a right place to put my kids pun i fail, how about their future? will i succumb to 'susahla... susahla..' then my kids don't get what they deserve for. i took unpaid leave, and willing to send my baby nun jauh ke Permyjaya,& plan to hire a maid just because i want him to get the full richness of my breastmilk.

with my job, i have to go outstation. to attend meetings, training, etc. most probably i have to go to KL, KK & terengganu in regular basis. but it's not an excuse for me to stop giving my baby BM. if there's a will there's a way rite. my very first outstation will be in the next fornite [hopefully], to seremban. i'm gonna bring Hafiy with me & i asked ma friend, Bolly [she stays at KL] to come with me. if i'm going to places that i can't bring him together [offshore or barge, probably] i should prepare a bank of frozen milk for him.

i don't mind if anyone wanna give her baby FM because 'susu tak ada' but pleaaseeee don't use it as an advise to newly-planned-to-breastfeed mommies. i never state in my mind to 'nak breastfeed kalo susu ada' or sewaktu dgnnya. i said to myself, i want to breastfeed & my susu MUST ada. even i don't ever2 prepare any tin of FM at home even if for 'emergency' because i believe that my body won't let my boy die for starving [mati kebuluran?].

i know many moms fail to breastfeed because of the feeling 'takut baby lapar susu xde', then they feed them FM. end up, rely to FM forever. [some are successful to cont. bf & say well done! to 'em] being me, even if my breast full only on the 4th day, even if i don't feel like producing, even if my baby cried, but i told myself that 'he's not hungry. he just need my hug because he's afraid of this new, big, open world'. alhamdulillah my son is still survive, with no jaundice and gains very healthy weight. i think he never dies because of my little milk la.

i pray that other moms or moms-to-be who plan to breastfeed, able to find the right persons & right resources those can motivate them and help them to breastfeed successfully. amiin~

Why Does She Fail to Breastfeed?

i have a friend, who was really keen to breastfeed. but now she fails, a total fail. and she's kinda 'why you still can breastfeed your baby and i can't?' toward me. [not to say that i'm successful but at least my son is still on my breastmilk, exclusively]. - (this is excluding those who want to breastfeed but fail because of physical condition or whatever)

i'd like to list down her mistakes those driving to the failure:-

1. she thought breastfeeding is simple.
- might be like.. a fully automated thing, everymom can breastfeed as long as she has a baby.
- gosh from the beginning i know breastfeeding is never be simple. if it is, why the FM is belambak2 in the market? if it's that simple, everybody should be able to breastfeed.

2. refuses to learn.
- because she thinks it's simple, so she didn't want to learn. even i was named 'idiot' when asking too much about breastfeeding.
- & i'm still learning until now.

3. minimal knowledge.
- because of those 2 reasons, she has minimal knowledge without her awareness.
- she thought she was very smart.

- i told her that she shouldn't do that, but she said the baby sucked her all the time, and she couldn't provide much to make he baby contented.
- i take myself out of this ideology, please. even if my body doesn't produce much milk, but i believe that it won't let my son hungry, and it won't let me rely on other sources than my own breastmilk.

5. still hoping that the breastmilk is there despite the FM.
- once you rely on FM, and the baby relies on FM, then your breasts get not enough stimulation, the milk would probably gone.
- because of the minimal knowledge, she doesn't know about this, and she thinks she can stop the FM but how to stop if the FM now become the main food while the BM is start to decrease and decrease.

6. don't know how to stimulate breastmilk
- when the milk is running out, she becomes 'heran' how could it be. she doesn't know what makes her BM is there, it is the baby! when she gives her baby FM, the stimulation is insufficient thus reducing the supply.
- she's hardly pumping her milk because of the busy working days. so the body gets no signal of milk demand. no demand, no supply.

7. and the core reason of everything is being ignorance.

i'm not a breastfeeding guru or whateva, but i would like to share my little experience and knowledge with all my friends. up to this point, i'd face so many, ups and downs in breastfeeding my son. sometimes i feel i'm smart enough and some other time a total idiot. but howeva, maternal instinct and common sense is very important in breastfeeding and caring of the baby. because our babies are unique.

i like to see moms breastfeeding their babies, as the babies will become our future. but i still respect moms who choose to formula-feed but a mom who wants to breastfeed but fail because of ignorance (& refuse to learn) is a tragedy.

yes parenting, babycaring, etc. are common senses but there are things we have to learn.

Mommy's First Day At Work

nite before:
Abiy took us out for a treat at Pizza Hut [actualy i was the one who asked him to, haha]. konon2 to celebrate my very last day of being a SAHM.

on the way to Bintang, you were already ek ek ek.. but Mommy told Abiy "alah xpe.. nanti dia OK la" because i reeeaaaallllyyy wanted to eat pizza! [plus, so laaaaazy to cook :P].

at Pizza.

after we made order and everything, you started jebik2.. and HUWAAAA! Mommy tried to calm you, check your diaper, dokong2 around the mall, offer BM, peluk2, gosok2, tepuk2, etc. etc. but nothing worked. until the whole Bintang gamat dengan suara ini budaks. sidaknya di sia duk nanga kitak teriak2. and finally, i asked Abiy to bungkus & balit saja.

you cried non-stop all the way home, and at home also non-stop for 2 and half hour. ADA SIK URANG BOLE MADAH KENAK BUDAK TOK MELALAK SIK MOK BERENTI2!!! wah, kamek nang sik pandai kelaka Sarawak!

Mami masa tu memang dah tak tau ape nak buat dah. macam2 dah buat. abis baca sumer ayat2 dah. tak stop2 jugak. and finally guess what made you stop crying...?


mengamuk nk bace buku ropenya nya tok...

after dapat itu baru la diam. wah sungguh ajaib. sejuk rasa perut Mami. hehe. then terus diam & bole la lepak2.

maka bole la Mami prepare for the next day...
  • blend segala bawang2, put in closed tupperware & store in fridge
  • sweep the floor, tidy up the house
  • iron the clothes
  • pump the milk as usual

the stok tongganglanggang in my freezer.
  • preparing the pumping gear & get the fridge2go frozen enough

bottles, pump and the plug.
  • update my schedule

but Hafiy waited for me to go to bed. only at 12.30am both of us went to sleep.

the next morning:
i woke you up at 6.30am. bathed you, and dress you up. but failed to BF you cos you already started your puasa. Mommy went out with my pumping gear, a 'handbag' and a company diary. and my new clothes, kurung kedah so that it's easier to me to breastfeed you in the noon.

departed to Permyjaya at 7.05am. it was a bit late, so we couldn't singgah lama2. our office hour started at 7.30am.

in the office, the first thing i reported my duty to HR department. make sure that they're gonna key-in my salary for this month. suda keringgggg.... then got back to my workstation. nothing changed [beselerak mcm biasa], but my PC changed. got a new ones!

i didn't have 'meroyan' on the first day, instead, 'semangat' mau kerja... cos my project now become a sampah-like, nyawa2 ikan & i have to bring it back to live before this financial year ends [sabar.. sabar..]. OK, it'll be like a phoenix, rebirthing from sampahashes.

okay this time, despite the i- really- don't- like- this- j*b, despite the i- really- don't- like- this- and- that, now Mommy don't care anymore. smile! i just came with a new spirit of 'SERVING THE NATION'. hey this industry contributes 40% of the government's $$$ what.

Mommy went to Permyjaya to breastfeed you, but you didn't drink much. sikit2 jugak. so Mami think the next day i don't have to go anymore la. jauh OK. after the breastfeeding i still have to pump, at 11.30am before went to lunch. and again at 3.00pm. just got 10oz total, maybe cos i didn't drink much water and a bit dehydration. oh tomorrow should bring my water tumbler!

overall, today is a 'flatten' day since i took my loooong leave. me at work were OK, no 'homesick' [and even if i had, i can go home/to Permyjaya anytime!], very high spirit to re-start my job & look for opportunity to change position [oh see how macho i am!]. tired, but still i rewarded myself, by baking apple shortbread [tak jadi ponnn! tp OK la, abis jgk kutelan] and nasi ayam. so penat yg amat & Mommy so tak larat to layan you tonite. alhamdulillah you're so understanding & not merengek2. thanks honey...

everybody in the house in a good position...

The School of Life

after leaving the uni end of 2004, i once determined to pursue master degree. i even applied [& got the offer!] for a master program in structural engineering with uitm & with uiam [but unfortunately they didn't offer master program for civil engineering nor structural engineering]. but it all was only half way since i got offer from my current workplace. even, after reporting my duty, i was still dreaming of pursuing master in petroleum engineering. but it's all undone.

now i'm not into getting any higher certification than my first degree. because i don't know what for. i studied [not very hard] to obtain my first degree for the sake of getting a good job. and nothing to do with what i've learned at school to be applied in my daily life.

nevertheless, i've learned a lot from this very school of life, after say bye-bye to formal education.

my no. 1 guru is definitely my beloved husband, your Abiy. how i feel so glad for marrying him. he taught me a lot [even if it is sometimes unintentionally] and most importantly, he taught me to appreciate myself even if the world puts me in the sewerage. he's not 'teaching' me like a teacher in a classroom, white board, etc. but the way he treats and teases me, i take them as free lessons to be 'more human'.

it just some cases like this. i told Abiy about an email i received. a story about a father, a mother and a baby. the baby was trapped inside their BMW in the high-noon, the mother cried while the father went back to their house to get the spare key. and the mother refused to break the car window.

Me: if you were that father, will you go back to get the spare key?
Abiy: my child is more important, i'll break the window.
Me: so you want to bear the cost?
Abiy: if i have a BMW, i would have triple of its value in my account.

and i learned about prioritizing. to save money is important than to have a luxury car. and a family is the most important.
and situation like this..

Me: Abiy, if won't see my b*ss. i just ha*e him.
Abiy: you go and tell him that.
Me: tell him what?
Abiy: tell him you ha*e him.
Me: do you think i'm gonna do it?
Abiy: then, don't say it.

and i learned to not condemning someone at his back. if you don't like anyone, just tell him, don't tell others.
or this..

Me: there's so many immigrants selling goods in this market. where are the Bumis? i think they are lazy so they just rent out their stalls to these immigrants.
Abiy: maybe they can get more by renting those out.
Me: but they should lease it to other Bumis, not the immigrants.
Abiy: so, why don't you just go and rent the stall? you are a Bumi afterall.

and i learned to not complaining about thing i can't make it better.

well, being a mommy gets lots more to learn and lots more skills to venture.

1. learn to do multitasking.
  • online while breastfeeding - i learned this from Aunty Munirah. haha. thanks!
  • folding clothes with you on my lap.
  • breastfeeding while walking - i master this skill since the confinement. when someone knocked the door while i'm breastfeeding you and nobody was there. i couldn't stop you cos it'd make you refuse to nurse again. so i walked to the door with a drinking baby!
  • cooking while holding you - i have to make sure i put you away from the stoves and knives. bahaya nih!
2. learn to be patient.
  • once i thought my baby was a freak, or i was a freak, until i met Aunty Baiti. then i knew my baby is unique [in fact, every baby is unique]. he cried all the time. yeah, nobody will believe this until they meet my son [before he changed to hold-me-or-i'll-cry these days]. yes i'm not lying, even somebody ever said i was exaggerating about my baby until i brought this lil' fella to her... hey not even 10 minutes she raised her white flag. thus, many said he was sick, or because i didn't do this and that, or because of the spirit and so on. i did every single thing suggested, until my grand-uncle who a religiously 'spirit expert' told me "nothing wrong with your baby. he's not sick nor overwhelmed by spirits. it's just his 'habit', crying2 like this. after all, he is a smart boy. i can see it from his eyes". so what else could i do? just patiently wait for the time he's stop crying.
  • sometimes this boy drives me madly crazy. i talk to him and tell him [since he was born] everysingle day and nite that i have to do chores, i have works to do and he has to be independently play or watch the CD, etc. afterall he is a big boy now and get use to this world, no more needing protection from me. but it doesn't work well. he wants me to be with him all the time. actually he wants to be with someone and there's no other someone here, only ME! sometimes i just leave him with his toys, never work well. he'll cry just after i leave.
3. learn to not always listen to [&follow blindly] others.
  • each baby is unique. some babies' general features might not match one single baby. hm, knowing that i'm using cradle, some say "apsal ajar tido buai, payahlah nak bawak berjalan" or "sampai ke besar la ni nk berbuai". but i rather trust my instinct that my boy is OK. and now, even if he used to sleep in cradle but he can sleep without it. even sometimes he refuses to sleep in his cradle.

i even can sleep on Mommy's lap.

4. learn to be well-organized
  • i was a disorganized person [i guess still am]. i don't have proper files in my workstation. my last personal schedule i made for myself was during my PMR year, it was 10 years ago. but now i have to be well-organized for the sake of the quality time with my family. i wrote my daily schedule, rearranged the furniture so that we could have our very own family space, wash the raw foods as soon as they are brought home and put them in separate containers so that it's easier to thaw, blend the bumbu siap2, and don't procrastinate. procrastination is lethal. phew~ with that i guess i can cut the time to be with my family.
  • i have to wait until my son goes to bed before i can do all the house chores. and sometimes if he just wants to sleep with me, i have to forget all the floor-sweeping, mopping, clothes folding, etc. and i don't like to see my house in tunggang-langgang [even if it is so most of the time], so i wake up early in the morning to continue the works.
5. learn to be creative
  • there are various ways to learn. since my son likes to 'join' me cooking, so i tell him about the things we have in our kitchen.
  • i don't limit to certain activities, which are so-called as - the must thing you have to do to develop your baby's brain, etc. or else he'll not developing well yada2.. to me, whatever the activity is, most importantly both of us enjoy.

i am Momotaro in basket!

6. learn to be thankful
  • when we were at Mbah Aki's house, this lil' fella cried all the time. i asked Mbah Aki if he had any tips, doa, or whatever [since he is an Imam masjid] to make him stop crying. Mbah Aki told us to "banyak bersabarlah... ni banyak pahala ni, bukan sikit2 ni". then i was, uh-oh, i should stop complaining. we should be thankful for this gift, that gives us BANYAAK pahala [if we sabar, isn't it?].
7. learn to learn
  • i never learn when i was in school. i studied/read books/do exercise just for the sake of exam. and now this is the very important part. and the hardest part. how to learn when i didn't know what learning really is. learn how to learn from the books when you're schooling is very easy and simple. the step by step is there & you just have to remember it during exam. here, even if the steps by steps is available in the books, but when the time comes, i'm lost. no more multiple choices or tembak2 thing, especially things involving my family and my kids. so i have to learn harder especially from my instinct, my surroundings and from others.
  • learn to learn is very hard, cos sometimes we think that we are smart, and smarter than others. we're likely to bounce back on other's opinions or critics, even if initially we are the one who asked for those.
8. learn to trust my maternal instinct
  • when i was in school, the schemes for everyone are the same for a particular subject. if i answered A and the answer was D, i wouldn't get the mark. but here, no right and no wrong. i can put A on my kids while others maybe put D, but none of us are wrong [as long as it is not something too ridiculous]. my kids are not Mrs. A's kids. even if he's not turning or rolling his body yet, but he's not abnormal. and i believe that all babies are geniuses & active. just they have their very own & unique pace to achieve certain stage.
gosh, why this Backstreet Boy's verse is keep on playing "..the whole world’s a school so much to learn so learn it well.."

Happy 4 Month Old!

td pi cucuk Hafiy. Hafiy berat 8kg. Abiy cakap ni la akibat malas minum susu, naik sket je dr bln lepas. Mami kata xpa.. normal dah tu. OK dah tu kang obese plak.

Hafiy dah 4 bulan! maknanya apa? maknanya Mami dah kena kerrjaaa!!! maknanya akaun Mami berduit balik!

alhamdulillah, Mami rasa lucky dapat spend masa selama 4 bulan ni bersama Hafiy, dapat tengok Hafiy 24/7. even if satu menda Hafiy x tunjuk kat Mami lagi. Hafiy belum turn. tapi Hafiy ada la mengereng2 sikit. boley la...

tapi Hafiy suka wat gaya nak bangkit. tanda nya nak suh angkat la tu. suka sgt berdiri or duduk tp xsuka tummy time, turn ape lagi. agaknya nak ikut Abiy, xmengereng tak meniarap, xmerangkak, terus jalan. boleh nak ikut tp biar la cepat sikit.. Abiy 2 tahun setengah baru berjalan. selama2 tu duk baring. je. tak larat tau Mami nak dokong aje...

Ni dia paspot biru Hafiy. disebabkan kabel kamera ntah kat mana, Mami pakai cameraphone ajer... itu gambarnya kurang memuaskan. tengokle gambar passpot ntah pandang ke mana tu... & tangan Mami pun ada gak. hihi.

disebabkan Mami & Abiy bukan warganegeri Sarawak & Hafiy pun bukan jugak, so all of us have to have this Passport Terhad to remain in Sarawak. pastu kene cop work permit. kalo expired ni... kene halau immediately! rupa & size lebih kurang paspot international cuma kaler biru :D Mami seronok giler ada paspot ni. macam special je kalo balik kampung, nak blk Miri kena siap2 pasport. macam duk overseas pulak. ahaks.

skang ni muka Hafiy dah tak calar2 macam dulu. pasal Hafiy dah pandai pakai belakang tangan kalo gosok muka. ni sign Hafiy nak tido. dah tak nangis dah sekarang kalo nak tido. dah besar kan anak Mami ni... tapi mesti nak tido dengan Mami, xmo sangat dah dalam buai. siang2 boley la duk dalam buai. malam2 sorila. nak atas dada Mami jugak. sampai semput Mami dibuatnya.

"Mommy.. I'm sooo sleepy"

sekarang Hafiy makin kuat tido. paling suka tido kat dalam carseat Hafiy tu. carseat tu mmg magic betul la. kalo tgh nangis2, Mami letak je dalam tu, terus diam. yg paling best masa kuar pegi Boulevard tuhari. punya la nangis xberenti2.. masuk keta, Mami peluk pun tak diam. last2 Mami malas layan, letak dalam carseat, IMMEDIATELY diam.

syoknya tido anak Mami...

ntah mimpi ape tu yek.

masa buat makan2 tuhari, Uncle TJ (officemate Abiy) kasik Hafiy ABC playmat ni. tQ Uncle TJ! mmg useful betul. kita main guling2 kat mat ni. memula Mami pasang benda tu kat depan TV, tp macam xproper. TV is the biggest distraction kat anak Mami ni. kalo nenen pun nak jenguk2 TV jugak. so Mami alihkan kat tempat PC Mami. jadi family private space plak kat sini. OK la so xganggu kalo tetamu datang :D

..the itsy bitsy spider...

best woo guling2 kat atas ni. sepah2 tu kad nyanyi Hafiy. buruk sangat sbb Hafiy yg lukis sendiri.

tp skg Hafiy dah tak talkative sgt la. nape ek? muka macam asik duk berpikir aje. agaknya sal Mami & Abiy pun jarang borak skg. Abiy byk keje, asik duk berfikir je. betul la babies ni suka tiru apa orang tua buat. hey, tapi ni kecik sangat lagi larrr!

skg Hafiy dah tak kisah sapa2 amik, xde nak nangis2. tp muka stone je. haih. mana pegi ekspresimu!

Hafiy suka tarik2 spek Mami & Abiy. kan Mami salu cakap jangan tarik, nanti Mami tak nampak Hafiy. pastu suka cakar2 muka Mami. tumbuk2 Abiy. mainan gantung2 tu pun habis ditarik. kain dalam bakul pun Hafiy tarik. tarik bantal, selimut, tilam.. paling best kalo nak suh Mami tuka pampers, Hafiy tarik2 plastik pampers tu. macam pandai je. hehe.

Mr. Police kat sebelah tu dia wat derk je.. duk ralit tarik kain dalam bakul.

Mami & Abiy suka geletek Hafiy. pagi2 before mandi Mami geletek dulu. tekekek2 Hafiy gelak. time mandi pun Mami geletek jugak. hehe. time boring2, ape lagi, geletek Hafiy la. mmg hiburan percuma. hihi.

Hafiy skg suka menjilat2 & gigit barang. abis benda nak masuk dalam mulut. [biasa la budak2 tgh nak explore, one of their way is masuk apa2 dalam mulut, bukannya makna dia lapar or dah boleh kasik solids] Mami kasik teether xmo, nak jugak cari benda pelik2. baju Mami la, baju Abiy la. nasib la xbole gerak sendiri lagi, xde la risau sangat Mami. Abiy pun dah alert skg, xde nak sepah2 syiling kat lantai. kalo x, ada je syiling kat memane. hehe.


Back 2 Work Rehearsal

Mommy's gonna back to work in a week! gosh i bet this is the most miserable moment after being a mother - leaving my boy with someone else... and HAVE TO work! hmm.. i like working, but need ample time to switch back my biological into working lifestyle.

Mommy started bottle-training again (stopped since last week cos Mommy so lazy to wash the bottles - have to change to suitable bottles every time, one session only but 3-4 bottles needed!)
. alhamdulillah it was better than ever - only 2 bottles. huh! but the result was still unchanged la. minum main2. takes more than an hour to finish 2 oz milk. you 'play' with botol susu like playing with your teether. gigit2 jer...

alah, konon sibuk nk pegang sendiri... bukan nk minum betul2 pun.

and this morning Mommy sent you to Makcik Ana. we afraid if you refused to be left with stranger. but after been advised by Auntie Anne (teringat pretzel Auntie Anne's :P), we decided to send you only half day for today and another 2 full days. Thursday & Friday stay at home with Mommy, yeay!!!

siap2 pagi2 lagi kuar pegi Permyjaya.

eh apsal muka tensen ni?

close up muka tak puas hati.

on the way to Makcik Ana's house, Mommy told you to not to be notty, don't cry-cry, drink from bottle and don't make Makcik Ana's life horrible. hahak. Mommy left you with:

- a bag of diapers with wet tissue and nappies.
- 2 pair of clothes with towel in case you need for change.
- toileteris.
- 4 containers with 16oz frozen milk.
- your rattle and teether.
- & Mommy's love.

you were such a good boy. you didn't cry any tears, even better, you laugh when playing with Makcik Ana's kids. so it made Mommy's heart become release. so Mommy don't have to worry much about leaving you there, just for your bottle-feeding. Mommy's still waiting a call from Makcik Ana. hehe. Mommy hope you're OK drinking from bottle :)

can't wait for this afternoon, i want to pick you home!

*oh yes, yesterday Uncle Dayat came to visit you. but Mommy didn't take any picture cos my hp went out of battery. maybe we can check at his blog? he took several pictures... ;)

Mari Mencuci

Pek Baru - 2X concentrated!

Pek Lama

ini adalah cecair 'magic' yang Mami paling suka! namanya basic H. senang saja, ala2 one size fits all. dengan ada benda alah ni Mami boleh berjimat! satu botol ini saja bole digunapakai untuk basuh tangan, basuh pinggan, basuh dinding (especially blk air yg berkulat2), basuh lantai, basuh jamban, basuh baju, basuh tingkap, basuh botol Hafiy, basuh sayur, basuh buah...dan sebagainya, termasuk ubat untuk ulcer mulut Abiy.

macam tak percaya je mula2 tu bila Auntie Cherie Mama si Faiz cakap benda ni boleh ubatkan ulcer mulut. tp Mami try juga la on Abiy yang selalu kena ulcer.. pakai cotton bud, celup dalam liquid tu sikit & tekap kat tempat ulcer. OUCH! pedis..pedis... tpkan, sehari dua pas tu ulcer Abiy dah sembuh dah.

disebabkan ia tidak mengandungi bahan2 kimia bahaya macam fosfat, nitrat, etc. so selamat utk dimakan. heh. Mami buat basuh sayur & buah serta botol susu Hafiy. kalo basuh buah, especially grape, mmg best sebab dia bole hilangkan putih2 kat buah grape tu. & segala menda alah oil-based pertisid kat sayur2 bole ditanggalkan & sayur pun kelihatan lebih segar! serius.. kalo Mami rendam sayur yg dah ala2 nak layu tu, mesti segah balik.

benda ni sebenarnya adalah residue daripada vitamin2 shaklee, kira macam hampas2 vitamin tu lah. sebab tu dia takdak bahan2 kimia yg bahaya. & since it organic & from natural resources, dia adalah biodegradable. sebab foundernya, Dr. Shaklee tu sgt mementingkan kesejahteraan alam sekitar. so xperlu pakai sabun2 yang tidak boleh terurai gitu.

dan jugak dia bole tanggalkan permanent marker. celup je kapas kat dia & sapu kat mana2 yg terkena marker tu..mmg berkesan!

lagipun, tak payah pakai banyak2. sebab dia concentrated, 2-3 titik dah cukup utk rendam sayur/buah. sesudu kecik dah cukup utk basuh pinggan. sesudu kecik utk basuh baju. sudu yg biasa kita pakai kat dapur tu je... bukan sudu special2 pun. cuma dilute dalam air je & sudah siap utk dipakai [tapi Mami pakai axion ntuk cuci pinggan sebab Mami suka buih banyak2, basic-H ni xde buih, huhu].

ah, memang best lah!

*oh, Mami bukan nak promote Shaklee tapi nak share apa yg Mami pakai dengan ibu2 & kawan2 Mami. kalo benda elok, apa salahnya kita sharing2 kan~

*sesiapa yang nak tau lebey lanjut or nak sharing2 juga bole hubungi saya di talian bebas tol : sauberlina@gmail.com :)