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The School of Life

after leaving the uni end of 2004, i once determined to pursue master degree. i even applied [& got the offer!] for a master program in structural engineering with uitm & with uiam [but unfortunately they didn't offer master program for civil engineering nor structural engineering]. but it all was only half way since i got offer from my current workplace. even, after reporting my duty, i was still dreaming of pursuing master in petroleum engineering. but it's all undone.

now i'm not into getting any higher certification than my first degree. because i don't know what for. i studied [not very hard] to obtain my first degree for the sake of getting a good job. and nothing to do with what i've learned at school to be applied in my daily life.

nevertheless, i've learned a lot from this very school of life, after say bye-bye to formal education.

my no. 1 guru is definitely my beloved husband, your Abiy. how i feel so glad for marrying him. he taught me a lot [even if it is sometimes unintentionally] and most importantly, he taught me to appreciate myself even if the world puts me in the sewerage. he's not 'teaching' me like a teacher in a classroom, white board, etc. but the way he treats and teases me, i take them as free lessons to be 'more human'.

it just some cases like this. i told Abiy about an email i received. a story about a father, a mother and a baby. the baby was trapped inside their BMW in the high-noon, the mother cried while the father went back to their house to get the spare key. and the mother refused to break the car window.

Me: if you were that father, will you go back to get the spare key?
Abiy: my child is more important, i'll break the window.
Me: so you want to bear the cost?
Abiy: if i have a BMW, i would have triple of its value in my account.

and i learned about prioritizing. to save money is important than to have a luxury car. and a family is the most important.
and situation like this..

Me: Abiy, if won't see my b*ss. i just ha*e him.
Abiy: you go and tell him that.
Me: tell him what?
Abiy: tell him you ha*e him.
Me: do you think i'm gonna do it?
Abiy: then, don't say it.

and i learned to not condemning someone at his back. if you don't like anyone, just tell him, don't tell others.
or this..

Me: there's so many immigrants selling goods in this market. where are the Bumis? i think they are lazy so they just rent out their stalls to these immigrants.
Abiy: maybe they can get more by renting those out.
Me: but they should lease it to other Bumis, not the immigrants.
Abiy: so, why don't you just go and rent the stall? you are a Bumi afterall.

and i learned to not complaining about thing i can't make it better.

well, being a mommy gets lots more to learn and lots more skills to venture.

1. learn to do multitasking.
  • online while breastfeeding - i learned this from Aunty Munirah. haha. thanks!
  • folding clothes with you on my lap.
  • breastfeeding while walking - i master this skill since the confinement. when someone knocked the door while i'm breastfeeding you and nobody was there. i couldn't stop you cos it'd make you refuse to nurse again. so i walked to the door with a drinking baby!
  • cooking while holding you - i have to make sure i put you away from the stoves and knives. bahaya nih!
2. learn to be patient.
  • once i thought my baby was a freak, or i was a freak, until i met Aunty Baiti. then i knew my baby is unique [in fact, every baby is unique]. he cried all the time. yeah, nobody will believe this until they meet my son [before he changed to hold-me-or-i'll-cry these days]. yes i'm not lying, even somebody ever said i was exaggerating about my baby until i brought this lil' fella to her... hey not even 10 minutes she raised her white flag. thus, many said he was sick, or because i didn't do this and that, or because of the spirit and so on. i did every single thing suggested, until my grand-uncle who a religiously 'spirit expert' told me "nothing wrong with your baby. he's not sick nor overwhelmed by spirits. it's just his 'habit', crying2 like this. after all, he is a smart boy. i can see it from his eyes". so what else could i do? just patiently wait for the time he's stop crying.
  • sometimes this boy drives me madly crazy. i talk to him and tell him [since he was born] everysingle day and nite that i have to do chores, i have works to do and he has to be independently play or watch the CD, etc. afterall he is a big boy now and get use to this world, no more needing protection from me. but it doesn't work well. he wants me to be with him all the time. actually he wants to be with someone and there's no other someone here, only ME! sometimes i just leave him with his toys, never work well. he'll cry just after i leave.
3. learn to not always listen to [&follow blindly] others.
  • each baby is unique. some babies' general features might not match one single baby. hm, knowing that i'm using cradle, some say "apsal ajar tido buai, payahlah nak bawak berjalan" or "sampai ke besar la ni nk berbuai". but i rather trust my instinct that my boy is OK. and now, even if he used to sleep in cradle but he can sleep without it. even sometimes he refuses to sleep in his cradle.

i even can sleep on Mommy's lap.

4. learn to be well-organized
  • i was a disorganized person [i guess still am]. i don't have proper files in my workstation. my last personal schedule i made for myself was during my PMR year, it was 10 years ago. but now i have to be well-organized for the sake of the quality time with my family. i wrote my daily schedule, rearranged the furniture so that we could have our very own family space, wash the raw foods as soon as they are brought home and put them in separate containers so that it's easier to thaw, blend the bumbu siap2, and don't procrastinate. procrastination is lethal. phew~ with that i guess i can cut the time to be with my family.
  • i have to wait until my son goes to bed before i can do all the house chores. and sometimes if he just wants to sleep with me, i have to forget all the floor-sweeping, mopping, clothes folding, etc. and i don't like to see my house in tunggang-langgang [even if it is so most of the time], so i wake up early in the morning to continue the works.
5. learn to be creative
  • there are various ways to learn. since my son likes to 'join' me cooking, so i tell him about the things we have in our kitchen.
  • i don't limit to certain activities, which are so-called as - the must thing you have to do to develop your baby's brain, etc. or else he'll not developing well yada2.. to me, whatever the activity is, most importantly both of us enjoy.

i am Momotaro in basket!

6. learn to be thankful
  • when we were at Mbah Aki's house, this lil' fella cried all the time. i asked Mbah Aki if he had any tips, doa, or whatever [since he is an Imam masjid] to make him stop crying. Mbah Aki told us to "banyak bersabarlah... ni banyak pahala ni, bukan sikit2 ni". then i was, uh-oh, i should stop complaining. we should be thankful for this gift, that gives us BANYAAK pahala [if we sabar, isn't it?].
7. learn to learn
  • i never learn when i was in school. i studied/read books/do exercise just for the sake of exam. and now this is the very important part. and the hardest part. how to learn when i didn't know what learning really is. learn how to learn from the books when you're schooling is very easy and simple. the step by step is there & you just have to remember it during exam. here, even if the steps by steps is available in the books, but when the time comes, i'm lost. no more multiple choices or tembak2 thing, especially things involving my family and my kids. so i have to learn harder especially from my instinct, my surroundings and from others.
  • learn to learn is very hard, cos sometimes we think that we are smart, and smarter than others. we're likely to bounce back on other's opinions or critics, even if initially we are the one who asked for those.
8. learn to trust my maternal instinct
  • when i was in school, the schemes for everyone are the same for a particular subject. if i answered A and the answer was D, i wouldn't get the mark. but here, no right and no wrong. i can put A on my kids while others maybe put D, but none of us are wrong [as long as it is not something too ridiculous]. my kids are not Mrs. A's kids. even if he's not turning or rolling his body yet, but he's not abnormal. and i believe that all babies are geniuses & active. just they have their very own & unique pace to achieve certain stage.
gosh, why this Backstreet Boy's verse is keep on playing "..the whole world’s a school so much to learn so learn it well.."