mula2 kita bukak buku...
...pastu kita belek buku...
...dan masukkan dalam mulut supaya kita cepat pandai.
i don't know why but i'm a bit sensitive when people, especially other mothers talk about my child, like this:
"lambatnye anak kau, takpe nanti dia ***** la tuh. anak aku dah ***** ms x bln lg"
"tak ***** lagi ye? takpe jgn risau.. anak aku..."
"takleh ***** lagi? sabar... nanti sampai la masanya. anak aku.."
"belum **** lagi? dah berapa bulan? saba ek. anak aku..."
etc.
and samting like .. "anak aku ni umur baru 6 bulan dah 7kg, berat betul, sihat & tembam sgt dia xmacam baby2 lain" (hello, so many babies yg weighted 7kg at 3-4month, not even 6 month pon..)
[fill in **** with anything a baby should do]
should i tell everyone that I DON'T REALLY CARE about my child's PHYSICAL development as COMPARED to other babies? as i never said "risaulah.. Hafiy belum ****, dia dah x bulan dah, tak macam anak orang tu". as far as i can remember, i just said "Hafiy x bulan tp belum *** lagi". i dont know but i don't really like the word "sabar ye.." (even if they just berbasa-basi, not saying it seriously), it seems like i can't accept the uniqueness of my own baby.
even, if you read in ANY child's development's books or webbies, there are clauses (some has no) mentioning that 'this is only a general guide, everybaby has his own time to reach each milestone'. what in the books or webbies, are the guides for us (parents) to expect what is happening to our babies in order to get to know them better, and as benchmarks to encourage them to acquire suitable skills for their ages. so that we won't train a 5-month-old baby to walk. infant development is an art, and no science.
i don't care if any mom brags about her baby's advance development, but it just becomes a bit 'sour' when she starts to compare and compete with others & mine. so what? if your child can talk at age of 7 month, will he be the next prime minister, and mine, not? if your child can roll at age of 1.5 month, will he be a CEO of something, and mine, not? will something like 'walk at age of 9 month' be in his resume? ok, just boast about it, but please don't see other babies who are a bit 'later' like 'has no future'.
yes, parents should help and encourage their babies to reach certain milestones, but still up to the baby's own pace of developmental. we should proud with our childrens' milestone no matter how long it takes them to reach there, and that this is not a competition. i just let my child (beside encouragement) cos i knew that he will walk, talk, and whatever at the right time of his. so what, if he can crawl at age of 6 month, he still can't help me doing house chore etc, but give me extra time to monitor his movement, to ensure everything is safe. i am very happy with what he is now, he doesn't creep nor crawl, so i don't have to kejar2 him :D but the most important thing, he's healthy and happy, and i take care of everything about him.
i guess as a mommy i should:
"lambatnye anak kau, takpe nanti dia ***** la tuh. anak aku dah ***** ms x bln lg"
"tak ***** lagi ye? takpe jgn risau.. anak aku..."
"takleh ***** lagi? sabar... nanti sampai la masanya. anak aku.."
"belum **** lagi? dah berapa bulan? saba ek. anak aku..."
etc.
and samting like .. "anak aku ni umur baru 6 bulan dah 7kg, berat betul, sihat & tembam sgt dia xmacam baby2 lain" (hello, so many babies yg weighted 7kg at 3-4month, not even 6 month pon..)
[fill in **** with anything a baby should do]
should i tell everyone that I DON'T REALLY CARE about my child's PHYSICAL development as COMPARED to other babies? as i never said "risaulah.. Hafiy belum ****, dia dah x bulan dah, tak macam anak orang tu". as far as i can remember, i just said "Hafiy x bulan tp belum *** lagi". i dont know but i don't really like the word "sabar ye.." (even if they just berbasa-basi, not saying it seriously), it seems like i can't accept the uniqueness of my own baby.
even, if you read in ANY child's development's books or webbies, there are clauses (some has no) mentioning that 'this is only a general guide, everybaby has his own time to reach each milestone'. what in the books or webbies, are the guides for us (parents) to expect what is happening to our babies in order to get to know them better, and as benchmarks to encourage them to acquire suitable skills for their ages. so that we won't train a 5-month-old baby to walk. infant development is an art, and no science.
i don't care if any mom brags about her baby's advance development, but it just becomes a bit 'sour' when she starts to compare and compete with others & mine. so what? if your child can talk at age of 7 month, will he be the next prime minister, and mine, not? if your child can roll at age of 1.5 month, will he be a CEO of something, and mine, not? will something like 'walk at age of 9 month' be in his resume? ok, just boast about it, but please don't see other babies who are a bit 'later' like 'has no future'.
yes, parents should help and encourage their babies to reach certain milestones, but still up to the baby's own pace of developmental. we should proud with our childrens' milestone no matter how long it takes them to reach there, and that this is not a competition. i just let my child (beside encouragement) cos i knew that he will walk, talk, and whatever at the right time of his. so what, if he can crawl at age of 6 month, he still can't help me doing house chore etc, but give me extra time to monitor his movement, to ensure everything is safe. i am very happy with what he is now, he doesn't creep nor crawl, so i don't have to kejar2 him :D but the most important thing, he's healthy and happy, and i take care of everything about him.
some beneficial webbies:personally, i like this kind of conversation:
milestone @babycentre
development @medline plus
check for development delay & signs of slow development:
@kidsgrowth.com
@unicef.org
@umich.edu
@babycentre
A: anak u dh bole ape?and i don't enjoy this one:
B: dah belajar jalan.
A: wah yeke? anak i baru merangkak.
B: mesti suka kutip barang kan. anak i dh pandai pegang2 bunga i.
A: tula dia suka masuk mulut semua benda.
B: dia nkwat eksperimen kot. anak i bole panggil Mama.
A: pandainya! anak i dah pandai makan sendiri.
A&B : hehehe.
[it's just like a FYI je kan? both are updating about their own babies je]
C: anak u dah bole ape?to me, as long as my little baby child(ren) is happy, healthy, and response time is good, i don't have any reason to worry about his weight or why doesn't he crawl at 7 month young :D and never ever think or say that our babies are 'loser', 'slow', 'later', etc. those words are for us, their mommies. if you think your baby is having problem in developmental, go to see the doctor, don't compare him with others, & never say that in front of him. never say "anak i ni slow la" while he's listening (even if we think he doesn't understand but baby absorbs). would we like to see our kids be 'slow' for the rest of their life?
D: duk bergolek2.
C: br bergolek? bukan dia tua dr anak i ke? anak i dah merangkak.
D: yeke.
C: u sabarlah ye. mungkin anak u cepat kat tempat lain. tak lama lagi merangkak la dia tu... [adakah ibu D berkata dia tidak sabar?]
D: takpe... tp dia dah boleh panggil Mama.
C: ha? dah boleh panggil Mama? cepatnye! anak i duk aaaa-aaa je lagi. nape ek? alamak, kenapa anak i takleh panggil Mama lg? risaunya... ada poblem ke anak i ni? [adakah awak fikir budak2 ini adalah robot yg sudah diset dengan program yg sama?]
*cerita2 di atas cuma rekaan, tiada kaitan dgn yg hidup & yg telah tiada, atau yg hidup segan mati tak mahu.
i guess as a mommy i should:
- pray for them
- encourage not push
- don't compare (even though between siblings)
- never compete
- provide the best platform for my babies to develop their senses
- give them time
- let them grow naturally
- encourage their EQ & IQ
- nurture them
- help them to find their utmost potential first, then my expectation
- ... and the list goes to infinity]
|