This Blog is Dedicated to...


Of Being Alone...

i have many things to say... but this time i wanna tell you how i miss Abi so much this time.

this is our second time, left alone by Abi for a week. remember last time, i spent my time crying while kissing Abi's shirt & pelikat :P i thought i am going to have the same phase this time, but up to now, i don't ever had any tear! maybe because you are a big boy now, so you give Mommy you strength and toughness. last time you were still very small and indulgent :P manjanya anak Mommy ni...

This how you should be by now.

this time, i don't feel like crying. even if you're very heavy, some of my friends think i'm gonna give birth very soon because of my big tummy, but till this second day of being alone, i feel happy OK, even if Abi is not around. maybe because of you, i feel accompanied.

You can guess the location this pic was taken... A big boy you now, huh?

actually, this what makes me feel proud of being Abi's wife. even before we get married, Abi told me that he won't let me being a pampered wife. he wants me to be independent (& sometimes being ridiculous, how can he asked me to go for check up by myself?) and self-standing. he always remind that, the sky is not always blue, so prepare for the time it turns dark. if we are always hang on him, if something happen, who the hell are we going to hang then?

i wasn't a strong person. i cry sometimes. i think, all the time. but Abi always teasing me everytime i'm started to cry. then sometimes if it's not really a need to cry, i don't cry. huh. he's so mean, rite? he's not a romantic person. always straight to the point. i never heard from him any sweet-talk-word. it's only A or B or C. never be any Aaaaaaaa or Baaaaaaaa. sometimes i just want him to say "no sayang, this can't be done this way, you should..." but instead, "this thing pun you dunno ke?!". sometimes i want him to offer me massage everytime i'm complaining about my back or my muscle, but instead i have to ask for not-more-than-30-sec massage. sometimes i wait for him to help me doing housechores but instead, rather than wait for him better i do it myself.

however, those are the things that teach me an art of being a wife and a mother. while others maybe when looking at other couple with a very volunteered-type, caring, romantic, husband, they might feel jealous, a least a bit, but i don't. i feel so lucky for having Abi as my husband. he's romantic, caring, & helpful but in his own way. in his very special way that makes me fall in love with him over and over again.

in our early days of marriage, sometimes i felt like we rather be business partners than husband and wife. huhu. when i talked about family planning e.g. how many kiddos we're gonna have, he talked about family's financial & structured planning e.g. how much money needed to raise a kid, how does it take to get that amount, how should we raise our kids, etc, with structured plans! it was ridiculous to me at first, but now it really makes sense. now i am able to map my own plan for you, and myself, and also for you siblings. i used to be a hentam-sajalah kinda person, and with Abi, i become more structured and organized. thanks God, Abi is a persistent-hard-hearted person, imagine if he wasn't that tough in educating me from zero, if he was softer, maybe i am not able to write this, but instead, uploading pic of a crying woman. huhu.

i always tell Abi that i feel very lucky being his wife. and i am. his tough 'training' teaches me to be more independent, brave; and gives me courage to achieve my ambition & dream as a lady and an individual rather than only give me lots of love as a wife solely. of course he wants me to success in everything, career, life and family. and the most is, he teaches me to be strong and appreciate what i have rather than weeping for something i don't have. oh, i can't describe in any word how happy i am, being Abi's queen. sometimes i just want you to be like Abi :)

and those qualities i'm looking for in a man, assemble in Abi. and he's my guru in other way. so don't notty2 with Abi okeh?
thanks Allah for this very2 perfect family~

Today is 21st August... it's 3 days before our 1st Anniversary...