Hi Mommy!

hi Mommy. hi Abi. how you're doin' today?

today is my 34th weeks residing inside my Mommy's tummy. it's getting tight and so confine being here. i have not enough space to kick. everytime i do a kick, i'd hear Mommy's voice of "ouch!" "ow!" "adus!", etc. and i always kick on her ribs or pelvis. what to do... i just know front kick and Mommy doesn't teach me how to do twisting kick yet.

Mommy says i am big. i guess she's right. i'm about 2kg now, or maybe less by 100-200 gram. and plus the amniotic fluid, uterus and placenta, Mommy must be carrying almost 4kg loads on her abdomen. or maybe more. if i can add her breast and additional blood into account. oh, no wonder Mommy always tells me that she's tired and cannot bear to be in vertical position longer than before. but i guess this should serve her right, cos she likes to consume sugary food and beverage especially candies and raw sugar! Abi might get mad if he knows Mommy always chori-chori chupke-chupke eating raw sugar and gula melaka from our fridge.

i really like it when Mommy' does her job on PC. i like the sound of the keyboard when Mommy put her fingers on it. i think PC is something powerful coz when we're there, i always hear different sound. sometimes al-Quran, sometimes pop song, sometimes beethoven's, and sometimes like somebody's talking to Mommy from nowhere. hmm, i must ask Abi to get one for me :)

usually when Mommy goes to sleep, i'll follow her. sometimes she sleeps before me and sometimes i sleep before her. but i really don't like when Mommy turns to Abi's side while sleeping. i'll do something to make Mommy turn to the other side. Mommy says i am jealous but i just don't want to kick Abi and disturb him. let him sleep peacefully. Abi need enough rest because he has to work hard to ensure my comfortability when i arrive.

i think Abi's working really hard. he's always busy doing his jobs in the office as well as at home. he must be struggling to be the best Abi of mine. because of that, Abi seldom talks to me. sometimes in his free time, Abi would touch me and call me by my nickname"Budak Kecik". he should know that i am a big boy now. Mommy says, i should be as hardworking as Abi is. Abi reads lots of books. i think, he'll ask me to read them when i grow up. Mommy always tells me that she wants me to be Abi's copy. she says, Abi is the greatest man she ever knew. i think, i wanna show her that i can be better.

now i am already in my head-down position. this cause Mommy feels discomfort on her pelvis area. but i like this very much coz Mommy always touch my head when she feels the pain. and because of her 'stretch mark' under her belly button, i can say, everyminute, she puts lotion on it. and i can feel the warmth of her hands on my head.

i like to show Mommy my butt and feet. i think she can see my butt and foot are getting bigger day by day. but Mommy likes to babap me, she says "if you notty2 Mommy will 'babap' you like this". i want to be a good boy so that Mommy won't babap me!

actually, i really can't wait to go out from this room. i really want to straighten my stiffen legs up, cuz this place is very small. and i want to see Mommy and Abi, for now i just hear their voice. but Mommy says, i am still immature and need to be kept in incubator if i go out before full term, after all, all my goods are at my grandparents' houses in KL and KB. Mommy says if i go out now, she has to wrap me with old newspapers. and she says, once i go out, she has to leave me alone, coz she can't carry me like now anymore. oh, i better just stop complaining. afterall, i don't wanna disturb Abi's plan. i know he has a very limited leave to take.

Mommy says, this September, she'll be 26 as per Hijrah year and Abi'll be 25 as per Gregorian year. i wish, i would be called to get out in 13th October as they wish, so that i can give them a very special belated birthday gift.


I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MOMMY & ABI!

Luv,
ur H****

Of Becoming A Mommy

only one and a half month to go.

i (still) don't have any fear in facing labor nor feeling too excited of having a baby. not much worry about baby and postnatal care.

what is haunting me is... will i able to become a parent? will i really able to become a Mommy?

having baby, is natural. anybody can has babies. anybody with a good reproductive organ no matter how idiot she is or even an insane can has babies. but not everybody can be a parent. i don't mind about my body fat, er.. i mean if i lose my body fat :P while raising my kids. i don't mind if i lose my sleep time or even my appetite.

but still it does not pay to become a good mother. raising a kid is not growing a kid. growing is to increase by natural development while raising is to move to a higher position. i do not want you and you siblings to grow up only by word 'growing' but i want you to 'develop'. if i can define, to grow is like planting. as long as there is enough nutrient and sunlight, plants can grow steadily or even effectively. even if i neglect it for days or week, it will still grow with that natural resources. but to raise is like building. if i don't work, none of my structure will come out. and i have to put some safety factor to make my structure react with natural resources like wind, earthquake, etc. i don't want only develop your physical but your brain as well.

there's lots of theories and practices about parenting skill and style. and of course the best is what had been shown by our beloved Prophet, but in this very world (my world to be specific), i have no idea.. i am a working mom, with limited time to spend with my kids. and with that limited time, i have to do house chores and to serve Abi as well. (i am not ready to have a maid or helper)

and what i worry most is... when you're getting bigger, becoming a teenager and mixing with other friends of yours that i might not know. it may be OK if i can put you under my armpit forever but naturally, when you go to school and see other kids, you'll have another point of view about life, beside what has been taught by us. will i able to be your friend at your teenage? will i able to still be the one you rely on as you grow up? i know what's today's kids' problems, they like to hide many things from their parents, because they think they're smarter. i had a friend, whose mom & dad were religious and educated, and she also was, but she ended up having sex before marriage. with her boyfriend who was also known as a good & religious boy.
**Dear Allah, Engkau jadikanlah kawan2 anak2ku adalah orang2 yg soleh.
**Dear Allah, Engkau jadikanlah anak2ku orang2 yg soleh.
**Dear Allah, Engkau jadikanlah kami semua hamba-Mu yg soleh.

put aside the 'test' thing or ujian hidup, but if that happens, what do you think Mommy's gonna feel? you built a house, with good design of engineering and architecture. soon when it's finished, somebody comes in and destruct what you have make. how do you feel? happy? satisfy? of course not.

that's why son, Mommy want you to know that, becoming parents is not that easy. we maybe very excited to celebrate your arrival, but deep inside we have a mixed feeling, to hold a great responsibility in raising another soldier of Islam. will we be able to make you a real soldier?

please, help us to be the best parents of yours OK!

At 33 Weeks

a week before officially entering 8 month. oh God.. only 7 weeks to EDD and 4 weeks to full term! but i still can't answer if people ask about "how do you feel?". to be frank, i like to have you in my tummy, cos i can carry you to everywhere & anywhere. huhu. once you're born, i have to think of "to whom should i leave this boy?" & for sure i'm gonna miss you so much!

we started our once a-2-week prenatal visit now. what i like about prenatal visit is, beside i can check my maternal condition, i also can see you through the sonogram. and what i love the most is, seeing you heart beating. whether you're moving or not, when looking at your heartbeat, and it's four rooms, i feel calm. that's mean you are very OK. and i can see your perfectly formed limbs. and FYI,i never undergo ultrasound just to check your gender!

so what is happening this week?

this very week, your head cross-section is 8.2cm. perfect. it's in the red circle. and in its position already. please.. please.. please don't turn OK my dear... good boy have to listen to Mommy OK? the image quality is very poor. using my 2.0megapixel cameraphone on a printed paper ... what d ya expect?

as usual, you like to put your hand on your forehead. red circle=your fingers; green circle=your head. dr aida said "baby you suka berfikir ni". hmm, just like Abi, kan? you're really Abi's boy la. if only we can have the 3d scan....

this time, you showed your ball & peanut. very the big OK! & the doctor printed it out (she's very excited), but mommy don't want to put it here. maluuuuu~~~.

my weight chart. i gained 2kg in 2 weeks! i should gain 1kg per 2 weeks instead! gosh! my eating habit is as usual (before pregnant). my appetite doesn't increase nor decrease but my weight keep on climbing to the summit! i have another 4kg to be gained but it's 7 weeks remaining! arrghhhh!

my belly is really big. and heavy. i think it's expanding day by day. however, the doctor still doesn't wanna reveal your weight until the 34th week. saba je la...

*this is absolutely not my belly!

i got stretch marks! demn... i applied oil-based (i.e. baby oil & olive oil) & cocoa butter stretch marks lotion since you were 2 months in my womb. but i still have this #&*&*@&#@#$ mark! how i expected my belly skin is elastic! grrr... i am in the lowest point of my bad mood today since i discovered the 'rashes' i had below my belly button is actually the stretch marks! arghhh!!!! i took pictures, saw it in the mirror and touched the broken epidermis while weeping on this bloody thing! my epidermis has torn! i'm gonna have an ugly belly! hwaaaa!!!

last nite mommy noticed that you started to kick on my ribs. then you like to place your feet on it. it's a bit disturbing (time mommy nak tido la awak tendang2) but it's OK. at least it's better than when you slept the whole day, yesterday. so boring OK! how could you left mommy talking to myself while you were soundly landing on your slumberland.

now i get used to my braxton hicks. it's a bit frequent but not that disturbing as before. and you make lots of movement, maybe bcos of this week is the best place along this journey, since the amniotic fluid it at its highest level. so you have more cushioned effect to bump on my tummy.

sometimes i feel my back ache, but it's over when i change my posture. and i become a bit plump. is it because of my fat or edema, im not sure. but it's not obvious la. my friends say all my weight goes to my belly. and aunt wani's advise really works!- bengkok kaki masa geliat. say no to leg cramp!

dear God, please get this stretch marks out of my belly...!

Problem Solving & Decision Making

son,
i want to tell you something about life. something that you can't find in any book. maybe there's friends of yours or anybody you know tell you that life is as simple as A B C or 1 2 3. and you may know about A,B,C; 1,2,3; a+b+i = abi; m+o+m+m+y=mommy; 1+2=3; 3-3=0. or maybe when you learn about calculus, you'll know about x^2+2x-3=0. but we want you to be a doctor! but life ain't like that. it's not only x^4+15x^3-24x^2-x=1!

life is 2xy+3pq-12qyz=w, and you're not given any value! you may go to Mr. A. he assumes w=3,z=2,y=4,q=9 and his theory was 'the shape of those numbers are similar to the alphabets given'. and you just have to find the value of x and p. then you go to Mr. B. his theory is different. Mr. C also gives the different story.

that's life. and it applies in everything.

you may want to live as simple as you can, but Mommy & Abi want you to have a meaningful life. not only breath, eat, poo, school, work, get married, then die... but we want you to success, in life and hereafter. the school of life is enormous and unlimited, and we want you to learn as much as possible, to the final limit of a human being.

the formula is not A B C but--> fact, myth, theory and practice. why? because fact is there, something you can't change. myth, sometimes right sometimes wrong, sometimes with argument sometimes not. theory, is depend on who's saying & doing it. practice, which is the things happen in our daily life but not necessarily right. example. fact is, the sky is blue. myth says, it's because of the blue wolf. while theory says, the sky ain't blue but earth's atmosphere makes it looks blue. and practice, who cares? whether the sky is blue or black or red, as long as there's rain and sun.

when comes to pregnancy, babycare and parenting, the formula applies. there are lots of facts, myths, theories and practices in pregnancy, birth, babycare, parenting, nutrition, etc. sometimes they put the first timers like us be in the middle of the road. wondering about which way we should choose.

how did we overcome the dilemma? one thing you have to remember, nobody is perfect. so we should always practice critical thinking. take all information with a grain of salt. we did some reading, joining forums, discuss & asking the experts, listening to others, etc. meanwhile we mapped our own plan by compiling all infos and do screening under our own judgment, base on our interest, situation & condition. and now, we have it already, a set of draft plan for you. we know it's not complete nor perfect but at least we know what we're gonna do next.

talking about parenting, everybody is saying that they are right. everybody is right actually, that's why we have to know our own right before making any decision. example, in choice of feeding. A may wants to breastfeed while B prefers formula feed. there's no right or wrong, cos everybody has unique reasons for each decision. majority may choose blue for baby boys & pink for girl but it's nothing wrong if C wants to pick blue for her baby girl. D may needs a stroller while E doesn't. and you can't say F is going ridiculous for her decision to have baby everyyear just because you plan to make it every 3 years.

before sticking to any decision, we should know ourselves, understand our needs, analyze our economic condition, check our lifestyle, etc. so that we can make choice that really suits us rather than suiting others and leave us under depression because we can't fit in. now the fact plays it roles. before listening to others, grab the fact first. do lots of reading. when we master the fact, then we can consider others' practice and theories. and myths as well. but still depends on our situation and condition.

why i keep on mentioning about our situation and condition? cos each of us are unique. others may need big, imported, hi-tech cars but for us, a lowest~standard~in~its~class-manual-local car is enough. others may need their very own houses by now but we don't, maybe later. others may need 50 pairs of newborn sets but for us 3-4 pairs is enough. we don't measure ourselves using others' scale. we have our own ability and capability which is different than them. we have our own need, which is not similar to them.

so son, be wise in making decision. remember that what is good for others is not necessarily good for us. learn the fact, know ourselves and get others' advise. then make decision using our own map. then you won't say "menyesal aku ikut cakap si D ni...." later. =)

We Did It!

a year ago...

after isyak, both of us were merged into a tie called MARRIAGE. it was the biggest event ever after my convocation (transforming me from a student into an unemployed), this time i'd changing my status from single to married. and the even bigger thing was, i was married to a man that i kept in my eyes and dream for so long. i'd been watching over him since we were placed in the same lab during our 1st year but only as a secret secret admirer. i was too ugly to catch any guy (& maybe still..).

our very first day was... dunno what to say.. because abi caught in high fever a day before our solemnization. we were 'cooped' in our bedroom since abi couldn't even sit because of his aching body. and he was only recovered 3-4 days later. and another thing was, i raised my red flag on the same day abi got fever. huh!

we spent 5 days at my parent's house before we made our move to KL for the reception at abi's side. we planned to stop by genting highland, but unfortunately no room available, only one with 2 single bed. 2 single bed? i rather sleep in the car then :P frustrated, we then went to KL straightaway, to my wan & akis' home. my mom said, don't even go nor drop by abi's parents' house before the reception. not nice... both of us slept on in my own single bed room. ha, now that's better.

days after the reception, i went back to work and abi flew back to miri. then our life as a long distance couple began. didn't like other couples, abi seldom came back to see me. despite the condition, i was hoping that you'd come into our life as soon as possible so that i wouldn't feel lonely.

i stayed with abi's parents. usually at night we spent time watching TV while chatting with each other. but sometimes i felt lonely cuz nobody to talk to, in the same language. the most broken-hearted news that time was when getting the news of this person & this person, got pregnant just after they get married. and i stopped contacting my newly-wed friends, to take care of my own feeling :)

abi came back few days before aidilfitri. gladly we got married 2 month before raya... if not i don't know when would i see him again. and again, i raised my red flag just after abi's arrival. huhu. so cruel...

my first raya as abi's wife & mbahs' daughter in law. the nicest part was, everytime we went beraya to the relatives' houses, they would ask "mana satu mantunya?", because of the similar faces of ours :D and when mbah introduced me to them, "wah, kok sama aje mukanye. mmg jodoh nih" :D and we don't have to predict who's face you're going to heritage... abi's face or mommy's face... doesn't make any different right?

Our early days as hubby and wifey.

now after a year...

mommy & abi now are a happily married couple, living together under one roof of a small semi-D house, away from our hometowns and families. surrounded by our friends who are in the same boat. struggling to cope with our daily office routine. & gladly waiting for your arrival!

my life is now complete, as a woman. i have concerned families & friends, career, a great husband and little someone who's gonna call me ...MOMMY!

it's been a year, my life totally changes, from 24 to 25, from single to married, from a loser to a laku-jugak-aku-rupanya :P, from Cik to Puan, from Miss to Madam, from a virgin to a.. :D, from an engineer to a.... something diverted away from engineering, from KL to Miri, & from ayang to mommy!

you are the best anniversary gift from Him!

to abi,

i'm so thankful, grateful, overwhelm, relieve, satisfy... for our genuine love and relationship. a year together is just like a blink for me. i need more time to know you, to adore you, to love you, to care for you...

sharing life with you grows me stronger. you shape me up and brace up me with eagerness to have a better life of ours. as you always say, compliment to each other, and it's really significant to me. our differences completes us and because of that, we have this cute little boy inside my belly :)

thank you for loving me since last year!

DEAR HUSBAND, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
i love you & miss you so much

Of Being Alone...

i have many things to say... but this time i wanna tell you how i miss Abi so much this time.

this is our second time, left alone by Abi for a week. remember last time, i spent my time crying while kissing Abi's shirt & pelikat :P i thought i am going to have the same phase this time, but up to now, i don't ever had any tear! maybe because you are a big boy now, so you give Mommy you strength and toughness. last time you were still very small and indulgent :P manjanya anak Mommy ni...

This how you should be by now.

this time, i don't feel like crying. even if you're very heavy, some of my friends think i'm gonna give birth very soon because of my big tummy, but till this second day of being alone, i feel happy OK, even if Abi is not around. maybe because of you, i feel accompanied.

You can guess the location this pic was taken... A big boy you now, huh?

actually, this what makes me feel proud of being Abi's wife. even before we get married, Abi told me that he won't let me being a pampered wife. he wants me to be independent (& sometimes being ridiculous, how can he asked me to go for check up by myself?) and self-standing. he always remind that, the sky is not always blue, so prepare for the time it turns dark. if we are always hang on him, if something happen, who the hell are we going to hang then?

i wasn't a strong person. i cry sometimes. i think, all the time. but Abi always teasing me everytime i'm started to cry. then sometimes if it's not really a need to cry, i don't cry. huh. he's so mean, rite? he's not a romantic person. always straight to the point. i never heard from him any sweet-talk-word. it's only A or B or C. never be any Aaaaaaaa or Baaaaaaaa. sometimes i just want him to say "no sayang, this can't be done this way, you should..." but instead, "this thing pun you dunno ke?!". sometimes i want him to offer me massage everytime i'm complaining about my back or my muscle, but instead i have to ask for not-more-than-30-sec massage. sometimes i wait for him to help me doing housechores but instead, rather than wait for him better i do it myself.

however, those are the things that teach me an art of being a wife and a mother. while others maybe when looking at other couple with a very volunteered-type, caring, romantic, husband, they might feel jealous, a least a bit, but i don't. i feel so lucky for having Abi as my husband. he's romantic, caring, & helpful but in his own way. in his very special way that makes me fall in love with him over and over again.

in our early days of marriage, sometimes i felt like we rather be business partners than husband and wife. huhu. when i talked about family planning e.g. how many kiddos we're gonna have, he talked about family's financial & structured planning e.g. how much money needed to raise a kid, how does it take to get that amount, how should we raise our kids, etc, with structured plans! it was ridiculous to me at first, but now it really makes sense. now i am able to map my own plan for you, and myself, and also for you siblings. i used to be a hentam-sajalah kinda person, and with Abi, i become more structured and organized. thanks God, Abi is a persistent-hard-hearted person, imagine if he wasn't that tough in educating me from zero, if he was softer, maybe i am not able to write this, but instead, uploading pic of a crying woman. huhu.

i always tell Abi that i feel very lucky being his wife. and i am. his tough 'training' teaches me to be more independent, brave; and gives me courage to achieve my ambition & dream as a lady and an individual rather than only give me lots of love as a wife solely. of course he wants me to success in everything, career, life and family. and the most is, he teaches me to be strong and appreciate what i have rather than weeping for something i don't have. oh, i can't describe in any word how happy i am, being Abi's queen. sometimes i just want you to be like Abi :)

and those qualities i'm looking for in a man, assemble in Abi. and he's my guru in other way. so don't notty2 with Abi okeh?
thanks Allah for this very2 perfect family~

Today is 21st August... it's 3 days before our 1st Anniversary...

No More Honeymoon

i waited until half way to write about this very trimester.

now i can declare that 2nd trimester is really my honeymoon period. even sometimes i didn't feel like pregnant at all! with that bumpy tummy i still could run, & even jump. sometimes in the morning when i woke up i touch my belly to ensure that i was still pregnant :P

now, no more. i'm not sure when was the transition took place but it's very different now. i can't climb the stair as fast as i did in the 2nd trimester. now i have to hold on the handrail. but i still use the stair to go up to the office instead of using lift, it's my only way of exercising (even tho i feel very heavy to take steps - you're a big boy now!).

my movement at home osso become slower. i become easily fatigue and exhausted. even, driving causes me a real tired. and i start to feel nausea, dizzy, drowsy and having throwing-up session again (is my morning sickness coming back?). mineral water nowadays become bitter again. one sip is enough. and, last nite i had my leg cramp!

sky juice? no way!

my stomach also having intense itching all over. however, by rubbing with olive oil and massage cream, it helps to decrease the rashes. phew~ my fear.. of having an ugly tummy after delivery!

on top of that, i feel so happy & thank God since i don't have many problem relates to pregnancy. no heartburn, digestion problem nor constipation. no part of my body swells, even my wedding ring becomes looser (or, it is still early to have those?). no backache. my BP is consistent from the first day we met Dr Aida, 100/70 up to this very week. no problem with glucose. your growth is normal and excellent. the placenta is well-placed.

and what makes me more and more happy is, the time for us to meet you is getting sooner. everytime the painful-braxton hicks comes, i'm thinking like you wanna pop out immediately! even tho i feel my tummy become heavier, even tho sometimes your movement is disturbing, even tho i have to change my laying position everytime you ask me to, even tho i have to bear with my frequent urination, even tho i have to change my posture, even tho my activity is limited, etc. etc. but i feel so fortunate for having this chance to have you in my tummy. your everymove is my great pleasure and bliss.

-thanks Allah for this most beautiful gift-

______________________________________

Abi is in KL now. and for the next 7 days we're alone together. i checked lists of causes for preterm labour, fortunately we don't have any (cigarettes, infection, placental problem, high BP, diabetes, too much or too low amniotic fluid, multiple pregnancy, abnormal uterus, underweight, abdomen injury, or stress-think i'm stress-free now). what worry me most is, you wanna pop out when Abi's not around.

Abi, this obviously not KL but somewhere at Laut China Selatan.

remember what Abi told you before he went into the departure hall just now?
quote: "take care of your Mommy, don't be naughty2 Little Boy (it's actually Budak Kecik-what we nicknamed you)".
and you're really taking care of Mommy. you were sleeping this whole morning, and when Abi flew off, you woke up and play to accompany me. :) and now you are kicking vigorously. my boy is very smart OK!

ayak! i feel tak-sedap-badan. have to off immediately!

KK Trip and Abi's Leaving

early this week mommy got an invitation (invitation? should be an assignment) to attend a meeting at Kota Kinabalu. it'a a meeting to gather my counterparts from Kerteh & Kota Kinabalu and i in order to discuss further about our regional projects.

with this heavily pregnant tummy, everybody was worried when i said that i'm going to KK before the weekend. "you can fly ah?", "you shouldn't fly in this condition", "how many months are you?" etc were the common questions and opinion. hehe.

to make everybody happy (especially the airline company) i rushed to the clinic a day before the trip, taking a letter from Dr. Aida, ensuring that i still can fly. anyway we were there to check my continuous painful-braxton hicks (it was very painful especially at night and made me feel so uneasy of having early delivery), the doctor was a bit worry and she said if the pain is still and intense, please rush to the hospital. however, after the meeting (actually only a telecon, the doctor had already go out for lunch), i could feel no more pain. hmm.. maybe you just miss dr aida or just mengada2..

that night, abi cook for us. a very special nasi goreng. actually i love abi's cooking, especially his nasi goreng. very cukup-rasa, its salty, spicy, creamy, :D he made it with love.

yummy2~~

flight from Miri to KK is limited, only 2 trip per day, early morning and at night. i took night flight cos had something to do in the office. the meeting started that night but unfortunately i couldn't make it earlier.

for the first time i need a letter to fly, beside my passport and ticket.

i was accompanied by kak syikin (not sure whether she is a 'Kak' or just my age, but i like to call her kak syikin :P) we reached at KK Airport at 9.55pm, the rushed to sutera harbour. we were late for that session's meeting. then we just lepak2 in our room, sooo very the penat!

L-R: somebody is sleeping soundly inside. our room at Pacific Sutera.

i dunno what time we were able to close our eyes. and you were not very active, maybe because of the journey. and the tiredness gave me a very bad dream. then woke up late for the next's morning meeting :P

because of the limited flight, we have to cut short our discussion. a-day-long to 3-hour-long. how efficient. actually, it was a great pleasure, giving us time to go shopping!

L-R: dry food at the pasar beside Filipino Market (the gantung2 one are gamat kering. Uncle Tuk holding a gamat.

wished to have a walk throughout the resort, but i had to surrender to my exhaustiveness. after having lunch, i slept like a log in the surau. only woke up 2 hours before our flight to Miri. this time i was with Auntie Ola. refreshed ourselves, then we rushed to the airport, prayed for no flight delay.

bad weather on the way, making the plane in turbulence. that was my first time experiencing such that jumping-jumping thing while flying. everybody screamed and i was thinking about 'we are we now? on land or offshore?'.

finally we reached Miri Airport on time. abi fetched us. this could be the last time i carry you to KK.

actually, there's another story. abi's going to KL for a week. he'll fly this Sunday and comes back next Sunday.

i tried to apply for a-week course at KL, so that we can follow Abi. last Tuesday, i already got a confirmation email from the organizer, telling that my participation has been confirmed. great news! suddenly we had many plans in our head, about spending time at KL. but it wasn't long, half an hour later, i got a call from HR saying that there's misunderstanding between them. and followed by another email 'Replaced by Another Person'. this is what orang kampung say 'buang karan'. they just surprised me with good news and shocked me by bad news not more than an hour.

that's mean, we have to stay ALONE for a week. some friends of mine suggested me to follow Abi to KL. it's something impossible for us. if the tambang is RM100 return for sure i'll follow but ours one, RM1000 return! with the money we can buy the best cot form overseas for you.

son, don't be naughty OK. when abi's not around, nobody's looking after us. we have to look after each other, tau!

everything would be fine, insya-Allah. even my painful braxton hicks now disappear. Abi said, you're not going to come out very soon (even if we are approaching the 8th month), you are very smart to wait for 13th october to leave mommy's womb. so, Abi's son have to listen to Abi, tau!

8 Things About Us Me

we've been tagged by aunt chivv. let's do this together since my new update is still unreleased.

♠ Post these rules before you give the facts.

♠ List 8 random facts about yourself.

♠ At the end of your post, choose (tag) 8 people and list their names(linking to them).

♠ Leave them a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged!

#1 My Real Anxiety is MY WEIGHT!
since i realized that i am a girl, i started to worry about my weight. i still remember when i was in form 1, my weight was the highest among my friends. they were 35kg below and mine was 41kg! from that i started to watch my activity - exercising! and started to take plenty of junk food. uhuhuhu. then my weight went up to 50kg when i was in form 4, form 5, 1st year, 2nd, year, 3rd year.. and i set target to loss into 45kg during my industrial training. hehe. i did it! what an achievement..

before pregnant my weight become inconsistent, from 44-47kg. and my target is to gain maximum 59kg throughout this pregnancy. :) you think i can, kah?

#2 I Wrote Short Stories, Novels, Poems, Lyrics...
believe it or not... but it was a long time ago. i like poetry during my primary school and used to be a composer for my class's performance. i loved writing short stories. Bahasa Melayu class was my favourite cos i could write stories :D (my english was very bad those days. even i dunno how to use the 'a,an,the'..). when i was in secondary, i wrote some novels. hahaha. the readers were my classmates. if only i published those i might be a famous writer by now. hahaha!

but now, all those skills are gone. hehe. i even can't write a simple poem. stories? hmm.. forget it. even now, i'm really not into reading. i dunno why. my uncle said i used to be crazy reading everything when i was a child, including kertas bungkus goreng pisang. huhu. now? hehe.

#3 I Love Watching Cartoon
when Abi wanted to subscribe Astro, i asked him to get the cartoon channel instead of sport. my must-watch are spongebob squarepants, chibi maruko chan, shin chan, ninja boy, madeline, mr bean, and any light & easy cartoon series. my favourite movies are a bug's life and ice age. i watched them over & over again.

#4 My Both Palms Have Continuous Lines

people say one of the miracle of human creation is their palm lines, when combined become 99 = Allah's name (81+18 in Arabic numerical). but it doesn't applied on me. the line at the middle of my palm is continuous, making it doesn't resemble 18 and 81 but 8 and 8.

some told me that, having this kind of palm is a sign that i am able to kill by my hands. hwa3x. so beware...

#5 I Drew Pictures
this is another diminished yet vanished skill that i had. now i can't even draw any single object. hahaha. i dunno where does my talent goes. but i tried once to draw Abi's portrait. hehe.

#6 I am A Good Spender
seriously, if i'm not marrying Abi, i might end up in high debt. huhuh.

#7 I am Afraid of Dog
i knew dogs during my stayed at hostel 10 years ago. everynite i could hear the barking. as a kampung gurl with no dog around, i was really scare when the sound was continuously haunting my ears. until now, if there's dog outside our car, i won't go out. luckily we don't have any free guards here, as what our nextdoor neighbor has.... doggies!

#8 I am A Sanguine
not sure how true it is. i underwent several tests all resulted i am a sanguine type : cheerful, optimistic, hopeful, confident, Pollyannaish, animated, assured, buoyant, enthusiastic, expectant, hopeful, lively, secure, self-assured, self-confident, spirited, undoubtful, upbeat. :) i think, maybe... but Abi always add another quality of me -> a flirt! it's because i am a Gemini!

OK. i think that's enough. even, i need 2 days to think about the above. huhu.

so.. let's tag others plak :)

- Aunt Aida Mama Fatini
- Aunt Axa Mama Aszra
- Aunt Aida Mama Adam
- Aunt Munirah Mama Triplets
- Aunt Khaties
- Aunt Shazzy
- Aunt BB
- Uncle W Hidayat

(best jugak main tagging2 ni. ada gak menda nak update miahahaha)

Our Weekend & Pre

Hey, look who's inside!

i was very excited to have our 7 month check up. it should be a great pleasure for us seeing you this time as you now are getting bigger than our previous appointment.

we were lucky as nobody was in the clinic that morning. checked my weight (53.5kg, 6.5kg increment from my original weight), urine, BP... everything was great! and i asked dr aida about immunization i should take during pregnancy.. specifically for tetanus. she said, i don't have to since i'm not going to any place that exposes me to that disease. and for you, you'll get it after you are born. so i just have to jab my hepatitis B only.

when the time was come to do ultrasound, dr aida said "hmm.. now we can't see the baby's face anymore... the machine has been sold to someone else..." wo wo wo wo.... then i could feel a joyous scream from inside "yea yeah! i win! mommy can't see my face!"

hmm.. what to do. but we're still happy seeing a great development you were making. i asked dr aida about your wieght, she said, we'll get it only after your 34th week. as of now, she just took your head and tight's length. she didn't comment very much since you were turning and turning back. and we spent about half an hour talking about babysitter, nursery, helper, maid, kindergarten, etc.

we went to eastwood valley then, cos both of us were the committee members for our company's annual dinner.

L-R: Eastwood Valley, Mommy in the superior room to place the lucky draw prizes, Mommy riding the buggy.

the next day, we had appointment with auntie jazz at boulevard. so, i took the opportunity to have a very nice tomyam at a siamese (i think so...) restaurant at the food court. first time meet but i think we can get along very well. auntie jazz is a nice lady and her husband also as friendly as she is. she showed us her scrapbooks those amaze Abi and i think i am given a greenlight to make a scrapbook for you :D

L-R : 5 of us (plus you!), Mommy(+you) & Auntie Jazz.

then we rushed home to prepare ourselves for the dinner. i wore pink blouse & abi the peach suit he used to wear during our solemnization ceremony. the theme was 'white beetles pink roses' but since abi didn't have white nor pink suit, i suggested him to wear peach instead.

the dinner was not that great (issit?) but i hope not to hear too many complaint :P

CW: Commiittee members with Mr BD (can you spot that preggy lady?), Mommy & Abi at the dining table, Mommy & Abi beside the stage, Mommy & Abi & 'the park', Mommy.. ;)

Feeding Choice

i dunno since when, but i really inspired to breastfeed my children. it might started since one of my fren gave birth to her first daughter 2 years ago and she breastfed. we always had conversation back then about breastfeeding, even if that time i didn't have any plan to marry anybody. she shared with me about how to handle breastmilk, about pumping, storing, thawing, etc. and even, many of my frens are the successful milk factories to their children.

when i presented my plan to Abi, he was very supportive. even, he encourage me to breastfeed you until you're 2 years old, as what has been mentioned in al-Quran. making me feel more proud, he made some reading about breastfeeding, especially about expressed milk. and he proudly sponsored your sets of breastpump, sterilizer, warmer, cooler bag and bottles - after doing some product reviews to ensure you'll get the best.

a very special gift from Abi.

i used to think that breastfeeding is a natural process, everymom should able to produce milk up to her child's need. however, after getting serious into breastfeeding especially exclusive/fully, i found out that it is always better said than done. only those who really want and determine to breastfeed are really enjoy a success story of breastfeeding moms. those who just say "i want to breastfeed" may not always successful.

i have many friends who are "i want to breastfeed but my milk is gone after several weeks", "i am working and it hinders me from breastfeeding", "my job requires me to go outstation" & a one 'pityful' opinion like "you are crazy, how can i breastfeed my baby from office?" and many more opinions.

the first 3 comments initially made my motherly nerve stopped for a while. until i came to the extend that... in mini depression for being afraid of not able to breastfeed because of reasons like those. especially having a boy who is always called 'kuat makan'. then i started to like 'mengadu' to my senior who is a successful milkfactory to her 10 months son. she told me that "breastfeeding is not a thing you can find in the desert. it is in you and you are the one who could ensure the production and it's really up to you. don't listen to moms who 'have to' stop breastfeed because they have to go outstation, but listen to those who are able to fully breastfeed even if have to be away for 1-2 weeks".

she gave me some petua and tips prior to breastfeeding. and her most pricey advise is 'bila doa, niatkan supaya awak mampu susukan anak, bukan mintak susu banyak. kadang2, susu banyak tp xmampu menyusukan. insya-Allah, Dia akan bantu awak utk susukan anak awak'.

and a friend of mine asked if my gynae checks my nipples or not. she said it is important to ensure these nipples are perfect so that i would be able to breastfeed. during her first pregnancy, her gynae checked for inverted nipple and luckily hers were normal. and she strongly suggested me to do so. so, next check up i should ask dr aida to examine mine :) can't hardly wait for this saturday to see your face!

then i read some books, articles and go to www for infos about breastfeeding especially for a working mother who may not only work in the office. reading success stories & discussion with breasfeeding moms are really helpful. then now i able to come out with my own plan.

i decided to take 2-months unpaid leave because i'm gonna spend my whole maternity leave at my parents's house. with a one-door refrigerator, i won't be able to prepare for your stock. even worse, we have to compete with my mom's bahan2 mentah in the fridge. so, with the 2 months that we're gonna spend at our very own home, with a 2-doors refrigerator, i hope i will be able to prepare enough stock for you when i go back to work.

why i choose exclusive breastfeeding? apart from the nutritions and what is suggested by our religion; i can feel the continuous bonding between us, since it began when you were initially implanted in my womb. another one is struggling to be different. none in my family fully breastfeed. even my mom breastfed us during the confinement period only. and, this is a way to have a frugal life hahak. great investment in your pumping set, hopefully fruitful.

and the must is, Abi's support. he said, even if i have to fly to Vietnam, or spend a week offshore, he will ensure that you'll have enough supply. again, Abi have to bear my supplement and nutritious food cost ;p or maybe extra freezer if i'd blessed with high production like Abi's Betty :P.

Abi in his corporate shirt.

"O Allah, please guide and allow us to share the goodness of natural food You created in this Mommy's body. Ameen"

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*i never say formula-feeding is not good cos i am a formula-fed baby too! every mom wants the best to her kiddies OK.

**would other mommies & mom-to-bes like to comment & give some advise?

Welcome Back!

9 days without streamyx. phew~

this morning i dialed 100 for the second time to check our account's status. have to be proactive than freely paying for 'unused' internet connection. then.. then... the STREAMYX IS BACK!

let's see what was happen to us in the previous week...

NEW HOUSE!

LEFT-RIGHT: our living room. my untidied kitchen.

this is our home since the last 9 days. can't take more pic, the unpack work is not finished yet. i just got what is mandatory out from the boxes.

i like the bright green color of our living room. however, it's very hard to find suitable curtain here. so we just got whatever called 'green'. *the green mat in the pic is a comforter that we convert into a 'toto' to lepak2 while watching TV.

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MY NEW LOOK

Mommy with 7 month's you. Abi said my tummy is so big and hindering him from hugging me. huhu.

braxton hicks becomes stronger. maybe because of rapid movement i have to make, from upstairs to the downstairs, to the kitchen, etc.

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NEW SCAR

(Not very clear using my D600) A: scar caused by bamboo stick-17 years ago. B: melting plastic-15 years ago C: hot pan-2 days ago.

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YOUR SWING

given by Auntie Anne since she got herself (her future baby actually) a new cradle. yea yeah... don't have to buy one :P abandoned for a while, coz dunno how to assemble.

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ABI's NEW WORKSTATION

this used to be Abi's working table at our previous house. i asked for it to be placed in the kitchen so that i can put my spatula and hot plate on after cooking. but it was there for a day only. Abi asked for the table back because he can't stand the backache using the lower living room table and seat.

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MY NEW DECISION

minimum 2-month of unpaid leave after my maternity leave! so very the hard to find nanny, let me take care of you myself!