1 year Old Hafiy

Hafiy's achievement:

1. Walk steadily
Mami ingat Hafiy lambat berjalan since Hafiy lambat turn, lambat merangkak..

2. 'Talk'

Mam..mii = Mommy
Mam/nyam = eat
Em/emem = drink
Em Mi (em Mami) = nenen
Nak/nyak = i want
Baa = Abiy
[tau mintak makan je]

3. Eat & drink by himself (but with assistance if not semua beterabur).

4. Shake hand (dengan rakan sebaya je, adult, no!)

5. 'Pray'

6. Kiss (girl cantik je)

7. Tukar setting hp, tv, pc, etc.

8. Look for Mommy
Kalau Mami tibe2 hilang or tak sempat say goodbye (kes terlambat), Hafiy naik atas sorang2 cari kat bilik, toilet, etc.

9. Favourite toys
- bubble
- teddy bear Mami
- pen, pencil, marker
- spoon
- bekas & botol bertutup (main tutup-buka)
- benda2 kat dashboard kereta
- remote gate. memang tak terkejut kalau tiba2 tengok gate tak bertutup
- benda2 dalam almari/cabinet
- buku orang

10. Dislike
- mandi
- baby food

11. Favourite Spot
- bookstore
- kiosks kat shopping dept

12. Weakness
- takut pada stethoscope
- suka nanges if kena marah

13. Strength
- macho. orang usik barang dia, usik badan dia, steady je. tp bila dah over, nah ambik kau sebijik!
- happy, sehappy namanya.
- suka gelak.

14. 6 batang gigi.

15. On soy formula....
lucky that Hafiy belasah saja semua benda.

Mami, Abiy & Adik saaaayang Abang Hafiy!

Time to Take A Break

Hafiy tibe2 pandai minum dengan straw. Mami tak ajar pun.

dalam 2 hari ni Mami dalam blues yang panjang. i'm not OK!

yesterday i put the status "mampukah kubertahan", sampai beberapa orang msg & sms "what happen?"

now that we're in the middle of our pregnancy journey, still has half way to go. but now my milk is not even half from the history.

1. pam sehari dapat setitik. setitik? i'm not kidding. just imagine you fill a bottle with milk, then your pour it into another bottle. sisa2 yang tertinggal dalam first bottle is what i managed to collect these days.
2. Hafiy menangis & meraung tengah2 malam lagi and when i hand him plain water, he drinks and back to sleep.

yes, actually since my milk drop, i already noted it. an LC advised me that my milk will drop, and i can't take any lactogenic herb, and even lactogenic food won't give any effect.

and i started to supplement Hafiy with cow milk since 2 weeks ago, but not everyday. could be once or twice a week, with not more than 2oz of cow milk. but one day when he drank more than that, he got diarrhea. so i stopped.

now we planned to buy soy based milk (advised by LC), and as recommended by others, Isomil.

even if my milk drop and i said before that i'm not going to give him formula, i will provide him what a baby/toddler should get, MILK! i won't substitute my breastmilk with other drink like juice, etc. milk is not only drink, it provides nutrient for that little body. breastmilk is the best, but fruit juice will never replace milk richness. so we opened our mind to accept that, our baby need milk for his growth. we can give him supplement from the drugstore, but to me, how good or natural the supplement is, if we able to give natural source for him, we will go for it first. he's only a baby, he need not only the nutrient but also to enjoy the food.

Abiy said about wet nursing with other BF mothers. but it's impossible to do:
1) we dont have any friends or relatives who are BFing & stay close to us.
2) if we send to other mother to stay away, we hav to pay for babysitting.
3) i still want to nurse Hafiy at night

so again i get help from LC, and nanti we will get soy based milk for Hafiy. just for supplement, while i'm still breastfeeding him.

chatting with teman seperjuangan, Mama Danish she said "susu tu rezeki anak tapi Tuhan dah bagi rezeki lain, so kita kene bertanggungjawab, bersyukur jugak dengan rezeki ni". then i remembered Abiy's advised "jangan terlalu fikirkan Hafiy, fikirkan juga Adik tu. kesian adik, dalam perut lagi dah kena abai"

uhuhuhu oh tidak.. oh tidak anak2ku.. Mami tidak pernah sekali2 mengabaikan sesiapa. i love you all!!!

so, i take this as a break for me. maybe Dia nak Mami berehat, sit back & relax sekejap. nanti tahun depan kita tandem nurse lagi :) insya-Allah.
and Mami sangat happy & puas hati dengan usaha dan pencapaian Mami setakat ni. syukur pada Allah atas nikmat-Nya yang tak terhingga (Dr Seri pun salute Mami still BF Hafiy tau!).

*even if i've been breastfeeding for 1 year now, but i'm still referring to LCs for breastfeeding matters.

Our Financial Plan

as for us,

bank saving accounts - for routine ins and outs money
unit trust - for medium to long term saving
insurance - for protection
others - for other reasons

for Hafiy and Adik, we don't go for saving accounts (most banks has kids' saving accounts) because of the above concepts. Hafiy and Adik won't able to withdraw money (even if both of you can but we won't allow it before you are 18) so there is no use for such account. futhermore, returns from saving account is only from 1.8-3% per annum.

we don't open insurance account for both Hafiy, adik dan the 3 following fellas, because:
- insurance is NOT an investment, it is for protection (even tho it is investment link, only half of the money invested in unit trust).
- we don't need medical insurance bcos medical expenses for 5 children will be taken care by our company.(*the 6th and rest will get this i guess.. 6th???)
- little kids don't have dependants for life insurans. (buy it yourselflah later, after you get married & have kids)
- education insurans gives smaller return than unit trust.

insurans, for us, on the other hand is a 'force-saving'. for those who are 'hard to save money' or 'hard to pay for themselves', insurans is a good instrument. this is because they have to commit the payment everymonth. for people who love to save money, i think other instrument gives better return. if you can save at a better place for a better return, why not?

in Malaysia, generally we have 2 types of unit trust (amanah saham):
1) the one managed by PNB.
2) private unit trusts managed by unit trust companies like Public Mutual, CIMB Mutual, MAAKL, etc.

rule of thumb in unit trust investment (in other investment tho), the higher the risk, the higher the return. the highest unit trust fund is those invested (by the fund managers) directly in stock market such as index fund, equity fund, etc. during bear market (like what we are facing now) most (even all) equity funds go down. the safest (bear in mind that every investment has its own risks) are funds like bond and money market. but to respect the rule of thumb, those funds give low return.

for Hafiy and Adik, we opt for PNB's unit trust (ASNB) because it just meant for saving and we don't bear the risk of ups and down of stock market. plus, the price for ASW2020 is fixed RM1 for buying and selling, and no service charge. then, we have nothing to lose if we retrieve the saving before 2nd or 3rd years, or even tomorrow. it's return totally depend on divident and bonus, but at least we don't lose the initial investment if we want to retrieve it in short time.

it's different with private unit trust's equity funds. it should not be put as 'save today to retrieve tomorrow', unless you are interested in trading. this kind of fund, suitable for long term, say 15-25 years if not for trading. involving in this kind of funds, either for trading or long term, needs self knowledge rather than depending 100% on the agents. the best funds are managed by the best unit trust company, not only will give higher return, but also it won't go bangkrupt (it is another risk of funding with private unit trust).

where to invest?

saving/investment instrument won't be the same for unique individuals. thus, ones should know themselves before deciding to put the money on which basket.

that's the answer for why we don't invest in real estate/property. with our current salary, we are not ready to commit in property investment (not REITs), plus our limited knowledge, it will put us in high liability than collecting assets.

just wanna share what happened is US recently. since July, housing price in US declined to almost 20%, and now, US in undoubtly in recession. the speculation made the price (house and other buildings) goes up, and people keep on 'trading' housings and at a stage where the price came to 'unreasonable', the 'trading' cut down, the owner wasn't able to pay the mortgage, and banks lose their money.

thus, many US banks were closed. and this gives domino effect to all economic aspects. when people are unemployed, the buying power is less, consumer industry losses customers, supply is more than demand, people worry and sell their shares, stock market falls etc (just a brief review). as an economic taiko, US recession more or less give a pinch to other countries especially China and India, those are actively doing trading with US. to Malaysia? i don't know but the stock market now is giving discount to the investors!

what i wanna say is, when people keep on telling 'housing price won't go down', i beg to differ. property market is just like other market, it has its cycle, just maybe the circle is big, so the effect is not as significant as other market i.e. stock market, and it takes longer time. for people who 'beli tanah hutan 10tahun dulu 5ribu seekar sekarang this and that beli 50ribu seekar', is not an investment but gambling. investing is strategise, planned, has objective.. how the person knew 10 years back that certain people would buy the land with that price? we can keep on hoping but what is the basis? investment has its basis.

thus, a person with income rm1800 should has different objective and different instrument than another person with rm3000 and rm50k per month. the financial knowledge should be learnt by everyone who like to multiple their money rather than earn and keep (bawah bantal pun boleh). bear in mind that we have to deal with inflation and recession.

now that oil price goes down to more than 50% (this will trigger questions like "why the fuel price still high?" :D it's another long story). we know that Malaysia depends on oil & gas industry for more than 40% of its national income. when the oil price goes down... you know what does it mean..

look like i started to merapu bukan2 :P.

what i wanna tell you, Hafiy & Adik, use your money wisely. pay yourself first before you pay the supermarket tokeis. don't say money isn't everything, without money you won't able to eat, or even go to school.

wake up that in future we don't know what will happen. will our future generation get scholarship? will we be living for them then? thus, the preparation is a vital, start saving from now, especially for kids' education.

summary

return & risk:
saving account - 2-3% p.a. low risk (bank ada PIDM).
unit trust - medium return, varies from 5%-30% depending on funds types with medium risk.
insurance - low return but good for protection i.e. accident.
stock market - high return. can get 200%. but high risk, can bangkupt as well :D
properties - high return especially during boom market, but slow. low risk.

initial:
saving account - 100? 300? depend on bank and type of account.
unit trust - private from 500-1000. ASNB from 100.
stock market - tak malu kat remisier ke kalo beli sikit2? koman2 mau 2-3k above huhu.
properties - kena tanya bank berapa dia bagi pinjam.

our manner:
saving account - save whenever you like & sleep.
unit trust - save whenever you like & sleep. but if doing trading have to watch the market out.
insurance - save monthly and sleep. wait until something happen or its maturity.
stock market - buy and ready to get heart attack!

as i said, we have to be realistic and be in our own shoes. like us, we don't need medical insurance, so why pay? and for our kids who has no dependants, they don't need life insurance.

bear in mind that those things above are only tools, and it's not restricted to one-for-all. anyway, the choice is on us, whether we want to focus on our current needs or want to focus on our future needs. to me, knowledge in personal finance is good, at least minimum knowledge about 'WHERE SHOULD I PUT MY MONEY?'. unit trust agents, insurance agents, this and that agents will say anything to make you buy their policies, but how do you know it fits you? remember that we don't need all others need. if you need rice once a day, i might need more! so, seek for that knowledge before we accidentally buy this and that, than later we knew we don't need it, but have to commit with it!

check your needs and start saving now!

***
Abu Hurairah, r.a., reported "Rasulullah had said: richness does not lie in the abundance of worldly wealth but richness is the richness of the soul (heart, self).

"hai orang beriman! Janganlah kamu saling memakan harta sesamamu dengan jalan yang batil, kecuali dengan jalan perniagaan yang berlaku dengan suka sama suka di antara kamu. dan janglah kamu membunuh dirimu, sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha Penyayang kepadamu" (4:29).

Hafiy, Raya & Birthday!

gegambo Hafiy : TQ Dee!

i wasnt able to update tis blog since the raya leave. no pc and no streamyx, and tis one is via Abiy's hp in our journey back to KL from Kelantan.

this year raya, was a different experience. without Tok Pa, Tok Ma is in iddah, Hafiy is actively walking and Adik is actively kicking. we celebrated Raya morning in Johor, to visit Tok Pa's grave. we were in purple this year, including Hafiy in his new baju melayu ungu. cute sangat but no songkok bcos tak sempat cari (preparation sangat last minute).

Hafiy was out of control during Hari Raya. semua biskut raya dibelasahnya. Mami tak larat nak kawal dah, kalau disekat Hafiy menjerit satu rumah. dahlah ramai saudara mara kita ziarah. kalau dulu boleh 'tipu' dengan letak rusk dalam balang biskut, sekarang Hafiy dah pandai. how Mami solek rusk tu pun Hafiy tau itu rusk.

Raya ke-3, we back to Kelantan. this is our first time being there after a year. semua orang pun terkejut tengok Hafiy dah kurus dan sangat aktif. sampai2 je kita terus pegi kenduri Aunty Mia & malamnya Mak Tok buat suprise birthday party untuk Hafiy! saja dia awalkan sebab semua orang ada before sorang demi sorang akan pergi meninggalkan desa.

di Kelantan aktiviti full, tapi most kena kansel sebab ketiga2 kita kena diarrhea. mula2 Abiy, esoknya Hafiy, the following day Mami pulak. nak shopping pun tak sempat.

now Hafiy dah 1 year old. dah jalan dengan agak 'stabil' & panggil Mami. Hafiy pun pandai bersosial, if pegi mana2 tempat crowd, mesti nak join the crowd. tapi makin manjaaaa.

sempena birthday Hafiy yang pertama, Mami & Abiy opened ASW 2020 and ASD for Hafiy. no bank account yet cos Hafiy still not able to withdraw RM regularly, plus the return from saving account is not as much as unit trust like ASNB. we hope this would be a good start for Hafiy to learn the concept of investing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPY!

Post-Ramadhan

Most of my fren bila jumpa akan buat wild guess "kau mesti puasa penuh kan tahun ni". Mami cuma senyum je sebab Mami puasa tak penuh.

i left 7 days this Ramadhan. not bcos of tak larat or penat or pregnant etc, but it was for Hafiy cos my milk production sangat2 kurang kalo Mami puasa, even if di waktu malam. so i followed the LCs advise to puasa selang seli & alhamdulillah Hafiy OK since then.

terdapat banyak pendapat (dari yg bukan ilmuan) tentang berbuka bukan sebab haid/nifas ni (dari pengalaman & pemerhatian):
1. Puasa adalah wajib jd tidak kira apa yg terjadi mesti puasa regardless mengandung menyusu dsb.
2. Jika susu kurang, bagi saje FM, tak perlu tinggal2 puasa.
3. Kalau ikut macam tu, yang mengandung & menyusu tiap2 tahun, macamana nak ganti?
4. & macam2 lg pendapat dari kepala otak sendiri.

harus kita aware akan hukum2 Islam, adanya hukum2 azimah (yg dah tetap & wajib tu) dan hukum2 rukhsah (kelonggaran). ramai yang tak bersetuju dengan hukum rukhsah terutama di bulan puasa kerana mengikut mereka, tidak dapat menghayati Ramadhan.. Apa sajalah.

rukhsah, harus didalami dengan ilmu supaya kita semua aware bahawa rukhsah itu:
1. Perkara yang disukai oleh Allah.
2. mengambil rukhsah bukan bermakna kurang ilmu, kurang amal, malas, etc.
3. Rasulullah dan para sahabat juga mengerjakan rukhsah.
4. Hanya dibenarkan dalam keadaan uzur dan darurat tertentu.
5. yang penting ia tak menjauhkan sesiapa dari Allah.

penting untuk mendalami ilmu ni atau at least ada awareness supaya kita tak memandang serong terhadap sesiapa yang mengambil rukhsah, dan kitapun tak sewenang2 berukhsah, misalnya, asal mengandung je ingat boleh tinggal puasa sesuka hati.

dan tak patutlah rasa seronok dengan Ramadhan hanya sebab tak perlu ganti puasa, sedangkan perkara2 lain kita tak amik kisah pun. Rasulullah sendiri pernah bersabda yang menyatakan, berapa ramai orang puasa cuma dapat lapar dan dahaga je. sepatutnya Ramadhan dijadikan bulan tarbiah untuk bulan2 seterusnya yang lebih baik, bukan setakat merayakan Aidilfitri yang kononnya kemenangan selepas sebulan berpuasa.

berbalik pada rukhsah puasa bagi ibu menyusu yang risau atau memang teebukti tak cukup susu & ibu hamil yang risau keselamatan diri atau kandungan, dalam mana2 kitab tak ada dinyatakan, 'bagilah susu lain supaya kamu boleh puasa'. ada satu website yang menyatakan tentang puasa & artificial milk, (lupa addressnya) tapi bila didalami mesejnya samasekali tidak mengatakan 'bagila susu lain..' tapi 'bagi ibu2 yang dah campur susu, tak ada alasan untuk tinggal puasa untuk menyusu'.

tentang penggantian puasa dan pembayaran fidyah pun, terdapat banyak pendapat ulama, malah ada yang berpendapat, ibu menyusu tidak perlu mengganti puasa, hanya bayar fidyah sahaja, terutama ibu yang kerap mengandung dan menyusu. kenapa kita masih perlu rasa "tak patut tinggal puasa walaupun susu tak ada, nanti macamana nak ganti?", "kalau tiap2 tahun macam tu bila nak ganti?" etc. memang benar usaha untuk banyakkan susu dengan makan macam2 sebelah malamnya tapi tak semua orang sama. ada orang badannya cepat terhidrat walaupun sebelah malam minum banyak & makan macam2.

Islam tu mudah dan solution tentang masalah ni dah lama terjawab oleh ulama2 dulu dan kini, cuma kita kenala rajin belek2 dan bertanya, bukan mengeluar pendapat ikut logik dan sedap hati saja. buat penat saja ilmuan2 dulu korek ilmu sana sini & terbitkan buku2 untuk kita tapi kita masih syok sendiri dengan pemikiran logik tanpa bersandar apa2 dalil.

semoga Ramadhan lalu membuka pintu hati kita semua, ameen.