Learning Thru Play in Islam

when some of us think that the West has better ways to educate a child, i beg to differ. yes, we found lots of Western theories & books in the market, and with minimal books about educating a child in Islamic way. & if it is, most of the time it doesnt kupas the point until we understand the relationship between Islam and this very age (but there are some good books to read).

as in early education, Islam also has agreement with Western theoris about physical activity. that's why Saidina Ali suggested for under 7 YO kids, they should be taught through play & let them play.

the 'play' is not computer game, definitely. what had been mentioned was anything that give benefit, like physical activities, role plays, & toys those stimulate a child. according to At-Tabrani, Rasulullah recommended us to play archery, horse riding and swimming. Aisyah played with dolls during her childhood. as long as it gives benefit to them and does not associate with other religion and khurafat, it is allowed.

the importance of 'play' for children under 7YO:-

- their tendecy to play is high at that age.
- a study said that a child who spend 5-6 hours a day doing physical activity will do better in Maths, Language, social skill & leadership than a child with less than 2 hours doing it.
- physical activity helps our children to stay healthy and maintain excellent weigh.
- a good physic ignites excellent mind. a hadis by At-Tabrani said "an energetic child is going to be a very effective adult".
- toys like dolls, animals, cars, blocks, provide room for creativity and imagination.

Rasulullah liked to play with his grandchildren and sahabahs' kids. he used to go among them and offered presents for the fastest runners among those kids. Hassan & Hussein loved to be on his back, playing pretend, where Rasulullah was the horse and they were the riders.

the best part is, according to Imam Ghazali, the play always comes after hardworks. meaning, after the kids had their study time & other obligation, then they went to play. English idiom also says that, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. so does in Islamic practice.

but today's world is different. when i pass by churchs, usually they have basketball court in the yards but not all masjid has space to play, unless there's school within it. and kids are prohibited to play in masjid, either inside or outside, meanwhile during Rasulullah time, he never prohibited, and even he stopped sahabahs who scolded those children. they even played under the mimbar during Rasulullah's khutbah and he was happy with it.

as what had been said by al-Ghazali, those kids received a very good lesson at home to build their akidah, and the parents did not leave them with just -play-.

Islam has shown a well-balance child education method, hasn't it?

Flour Freak

Hafiy likes to play with 'vitriolic' things like deodorant, hair gel, body lotion, face masker, etc. and the worse part is he will end up eating them! (i caught him several times 'eating' those chemical. i think i should get rid all those thing by replacing the liquid deodorant with stone-type one and use beras goreng for face masker).

i've been thinking of making edible playdoh for him, but since our stove is out of order, instead i gave him flour to play with. and it was fun!

Hafiy's flour play:

- pour 2 cup of flour into medium sized basin.
- let him play with the flour and Mommy explains the flour texture.
- give him 2 empty cups and see what he will do with the cups. Mommy guides on how to put flour into each cup.
- Mommy pour a cup of water (little by little) onto the flour and see what happens. Mommy explains how the flour powder dilutes in water and change its state into liquid.
- Hafiy eats the mixture.
- game over.

a baker to-be am i?

oh it was really a good preoccupying moment for him and allowed me to do kitchen cleaning without 'unnecessary help' :P. Hafiy now likes to do his own experiment rather than listening to my order.

i admit that i don't spend much time with Hafiy, and if i do, it's not necessarily a quality time. i always need to lay down and just let him play alone (that's the answer why he able to get all those things mentioned in the first paragraph).

but, thanks Allah for making everything easy for me (after i-am-not-a-good-mother syndrome). Hafiy doesn't disappoint me when i put some expectation on him (even if it has to be 'many times').

thank you Allah for the syndrome i endured for many weeks. and yes, the tarbiyah from Allah came from many angles. i feel ease now. alhamdulillah...

How to Nurture Your Kids With Islamic Education

in child development, Muslim scholars and Western scholars agreed that the period of 0-6YO is the most critical time in developing a child's brain. during Abasiyah age, a child at that age (preschool) was equipped with Islamic practical life lesson before they moved to Islamic knowledge i.e. al-Quran, hadis, feqah etc. in primary school and later to knowledge in other fields i.e Math, Science, Astronomy, Geography, etc. during secondary. what matter most is what he got at his below 6YO that will determine his manner toward the future.

child education in Islam is not to depend on any institution to provide such skills and knowledge. even homeschooling is not a new thing in a true Islamic culture. even Rasulullah himself was homeschooled by Halimatus Saadiah during his early years.and the famous tagline of 'al-ummu al-madrasah' (a mother is a school) could be a strong evident that Islam encourage home education.

being a full time working mom (FTWM) should not be an excuse to not able to provide a good school for our kids.

a great school of a FTWM:

1. through role modelling
it's a fitrah for a lil kid to copy what he sees from his surroundings (remember the story of a boy slaughtered his brother after seeing his father slaughtered a sheep? and the mother lost all her 3 sons in the tragedy). and dont expect to teach the kid to say doa if we ourselves just doing it for the sake of teaching him but when away from him we never care.
- perform our daily ibadah as sincere as possible and involve our kids.
- take care of our hyegiene, health, look so that we are always in a good state.
- dont show our anger toward other people in front of them.
- dont break our promises.
- avoid talking about other people (mengumpat) when they're with us.[patotnye jgn ngumpat langsung].
- dont say bad things about their father at his back.
- etc.

2. practising them
children love to learn but in our culture, we usually take 0-4 or 5 YO as 'tak tau apa & masa untuk main'. we are retarding their brain potential in any ways! non-mumayiz kids really 'tak tau apa' but at this stage, they are absorbing all the things. this supports Abdullah Ulwan's theory of 'what determines future characteristic of a child is what he sees and experiences before he turns 7'.
- wash them as soon as they finished their 'big project', wash their hands before meal, bathe them, clean them, brush their teeth,etc. as early lesson to toharah.
- bring them together during solat, say doa everytime they want to start someting, bring him to crowd, etc. as early lesson to ibadah.
- wash their hands, faces and feet before bringing them to solat, after waking up and before go to sleep, as early lesson to wuduk.
- give them toys and book as early lesson to ilm.
- bring them out as early lesson to socialization, humanity, and other values.
- etc.

3. through advice and conversation
the famous Lukman al-Hakim used this approach to educate his son (in Surah Lukman). he conveyed the message to his son through his talk. for little kids, keep saying it to them will result an echo effect that makes them remember it.
- don't take conversation with little children for granted.
- always saying good words, praise, word of encouragement, etc.
- make family discussion a routine.
- go out & about and utilize the time to have good conversation with the children.

4. through daily routine & activities
Islam suggests us to spend good and quality time with our children. even staying at home to be with our children is better than iktikaf alone in the masjid. during Abasiyah age, kids were brought to masjid together with their parents.
- involve kids in housechores such as cooking, doing laundry, house tidying, etc. if possible dont shoo them away from kitchen cos there's lots of things to learn.
- dont associate our life with karut things i.e. ghost, spirit, & other things those bring us close to syirk.
- take them together to classes we follow.
- do exercise together.
- make sedekah a family routine by encouraging them to put money into tabung masjid etc.
- etc.

and as we all know, child education should start before they are born through:
- take care of our health along the pregnancy journey.
- eat good food, in term of nutrition & sources (halal).
- think positive.
- plan for the unborn child's future, for his education, welfare etc.
- etc.
and after they are born through:
- say azan & iqamah to their ears.
- give them good names.
- breastfeed them for at least 2 years.
- perform akikah for them.

Islamic practice is nothing more than common senses. we dont have to get a degree from al-Azhar to be a good Muslim. Western & Eastern theory of child education and early learning is parallel to what Islam says about it. & following whatever theories is actually practising Islamic way, because what in those theories had been practised by our Islamic scholars' parents during the time of Islamic civilazation glittering.

if we knew about al-Razi, al-Biruni, al-Kindi, Umar Khayyam, Al- Khawarizmi, Ibnu Sina, etc., they were not only mastered in their field such as medic, math, botany, astronomy, etc. but also in other curriculum like philosophy, music, art, literacy and so on. how could they be such that great?

Supermummy is giving away Gin & Jacqie bag for free!

okay. this is my first time participating in a contest. hahaha. the last contest i was in could be... forum remaja during my secondary school. well, let's just try our luck.

(copy from the contest's blog)

And so.. I WILL BE HAVING A CONTEST AGAIN TODAY! The prize is.....

Gin & Jacqie's Hobo Bobo!

If you are wondering what the heck is Hobo Bobo, it is actually a stylish gym bag that can fit a ball into! Made with soft cotton nylon in unique shape, it is inclusive of drawstring shoe bag.

Here's what you need to do to enter this contest.

1. Create a new post in your blog with this title:
Supermummy is giving away Gin & Jacqie bag for free! (DONE)

2. Answer the following question:
Who is the creator of Gin & Jacqie?
Answer : Jacqueline Ng.

3. Complete this slogan:
I deserve a super lovely Gin & Jacqie bag because.. i have a very 'bad taste' in choosing bag. i don't have many bags cos i dont know what is suitable to me & it makes i have only : 1 handbag (hantaran kawen) , 1 totem bag (got it by purchasing Medela FS, hahaha) and several backpacks (got them free when attending my company's forums). so if you give me this bag, you are doing a very good deed for helping me to have another bag, which is so stylish and i'm sure everyone is keeping their eyes on it.

if i get that bag, it will definitely add value to my life, because i am well-known as 'budak sekolah that always carry same bag'. who knows by using this bag, it will change my personality and how do people look at me. and of course it will be my very first stylish-lavish-sooo beautiful bag to have! and it will also give you a good reputation cos i will tell them "i got this for free from Supermummy!"

just think about it. out there could be many ladies with lots of bags collection but i don't. would you rather give your piece of cake to those who has tons of food or to who that has only a loaf of bread? :D kesian tau i tadak beg. huhhh~~~~

4. Link back to Malaysian Supermummy (no link back will be disqualified ya)
OK then this is the link to Malaysian Supermummy!

5. Leave a comment at this post so I know that you have already completed the task! (DONE)

Sounds confusing? Leave your inquiry at the comment if you have any questions! Anyway 2 winners will be picked based on creativity in completing the slogan and contest will end Friday, 28 November 2008 by 5.30pm. (DONE)

Good luck everyone! (GOOD LUCK TO ME :P)

Make Profit From Your Credit Card

not everyone 'affords' to have credit cards for it has a huge buying power. remember credit card ads those promote a you-can-afford-anything kind of expenditure, with immediate credit limit increases, etc. for some people, this just a hanging rope or like putting sword at their own throat, due to incompetency in handling the buying will.

but for us, credit card is our friend. we use it in almost all transaction at the cashier counter. we rarely keep cash in our pocket and use it only at the counters where credit card payment are not available, or where they set the minimum limit of transaction.

im not kidding when i say, we are actually making profit from credit card usage. we got our house's electrical equipment, fuel coupon, movie ticket, etc. at zero or minimum cost.

how to be a smart credit card user and benefited by it:

1. never treat credit card as a leverage on other people's money cos it's your money.
2. record all your expenses and set your limit goal to pay using credit card.
3. pay all your bills on time.
4. minimize cash in your wallet, for emergency purpose only.
5. choose credit card that give you the most for reasonable points.

and the most important part is, change your mindset to be an effective spender, not a effective 'swiper'. it's a good feeling when we receive monthly bill by smiling to the points we collect rather than sighing on our total higher-than-our-monthly-salary balance :D

Frequent Traveller

are you in Miri or KL? are the FAQ nowadays. this is how we run our life since four months ago, when i accepted the offer to involve in a project which requires me to be in KL.

it was fun travelling, until we are entering this very third trimester, it sometimes very tiring. since i was pregnant, i have to take a day of sick leave after touching down LL because it's so exhausting after that 2.5 hours flying.

and with this i-cant-stop-myself Hafiy, oh you bet how fatigue i could be. during our flight to Miri last time, he refused to sit and i have to follow him all the time, running here and there along the narrow plane's isle. it was night flight so i have to watch him all the time or he would disturb other's sleep when he liked to touch and say hi to those passengers.

but this never be a reason for me to leave him anymore :) i just want my babies to be with me all the time rather than feeling regret like in my previous trip.

if possible, i want to get excuse from attending next week's meeting and training but it's my responsibility to be there since i am the representative for my office. and i have no reason to not attending it just because i am pregnant.

i don't know how people see someone like me coping with our life. i don't have much choice or be demanding because i am very new in this field (yes boss?) and most importantly i need a job to help Abiy raising our family. makan gaji macam ni lah.

i hope this will grow myself and my kids to be tougher because they are different than other kids who are comfortably stationed in their own crib while my kids have to follow the world demand. even if i am not on this nature of job attachment, they will also have to fly with me because i am breastfeeding them (if i could find a good babysitter).

when will all this things ends because i am very tired. i want to live as a normal mother and wife in one house with my family.. [macamlah Mami sorang dlm Malaysia yang kena travel & be a monthly wife :P].

(Abiy might not agree with this writing but just take this as the third trimester blues).

Hafiy's Fine Motor Activity

being a one-year old boy is a very exciting moment for Hafiy. as now he can mobilise himself, he likes to go anywhere in the house, especially to the kitchen and upstairs, finding Mommy. he undergoes a huge change, from crawling to walking/running, and perhaps, many things those were in his dream before, now he can grab them.

i think he's now having lots of fun in his own world. even if he never wanna shows his ability to me (why toddlers nowadays alway like to 'hide' their talents from parents?) but i'm sure he's having fun everyday. and lucky the Bibik is not only feeding and washing him, but also 'teaching' him on daily good manners, such as salam, doa, solat, etc. & playing with his blocks and rings. and she put some target on what Hafiy should reach at certain age, i.e. should be able to walk at 12 months (yes, he did at 11 months!). now Bibik's target is, Hafiy should able to talk by 18 month. so, we wait and see! my target? adela... (sometimes i feel 'sayang' plak kat Bibik ni, despite lots and lots of complaints :P)

as a toddler, he likes to tear things! i used to give him old magazine to tear and bite, but as he grows up we changed it to board book and pull-up book. but he does not like board book (because nobody in the house reading boardbook!) & now all the pull-up things is gone.. hehe.

lucky we bought this during sale. dah tak cukup sifat now.

because of that, i bought a knob-puzzle board. but as a 1-yeor-old, he's still fighting with the fitting into the slots. and i have to join him all the time to ensure his motivation is always up, cos he gets easily bored if unsuccessfully doing something. same goes with the form-fitter.

but he has his own favourite things to do. screw and unscrew cap/lid. but he still don't do it for balang kuih raya :P he used to addict to empty containers such as lotion, moisturiser and even his milk bottles. but now he changes to 'unempty' bottles, like this one:

and this have to be 'pantau'ed all the time cos he will end up licking the roller. yuck!

of course i want him to do something else as well, but look like he enjoys the bottles/containers very much. so, rather than spoiling his mood for something i want him to do, i better let him doing what he likes to do. even if i have to wake up at the middle of the night because he wants to unscrew my deodorant!

even if the activities look so simple, but it is stimulating his fine motor skill. fine motor skillsis crucial, because it may not only involve the fingers but only coordination with eyes and brain. babies use these skill since birth, as they started to use their sight. and as they grow up, this skill shall be enhanced to help them in their future-independent activities such as eating, dressing, writing, etc.

try to varies the activities as much as you can but don't underestimate if your children refuse to play with other things (Hafiy is a screw-unscrewing addict!), because as simple activity as clapping hands is actually stimulating their fine motor!

13 Month Hafiy & 26 Week Adik

sejak Mami tinggal Hafiy waktu balik Miri last 2 week, i took a week untuk sesuaikan diri balik dengan Hafiy. OK, i dunno about other kids, tapi Hafiy memang sangat jauh berbeza. sampai hati Mami berkata-kata "betul ke Hafiy anak Mami ni? apsal lain?"

antara kelainan yang Mami dapat rasa (masa mula2 balik):-
- muka makin bulat.
- dah tak bercakap! before Mami tinggal if nak ape2, adalah words yang Mami bole faham, like "em", "mam", "em-mi", "Ma-mi", "nak"... tapi sejak kene tinggal, nak apa2 semua main jerit ke. kena la try & error satu-satu sampai jumpa Hafiy nak apa sebenarnya.
- Hafiy dah taknak bf bila Mami balik kerja. biasanya Mami balik2, terus claim em-Mi, tapi sekarang if Mami offer pun taknak. kalau nak pun, sekadar jaga hati je. 'lick' sikit2 pastu pegi main kat dapur.
- hantu TV ok!

yang lain Mami tak kisah pun, cuma part yang paling last tu, agak down jugaklah bila duk kusyuk join Bibik & Tok Ma tengok drama Malay or Indon. bukan ape, faham-faham la kalo dah tengok drama zaman sekarang ni... and at this age, Hafiy sedang giat mengcopy benda-benda yang ditengok. kalau join Abiy tengok TV takpe, Abiy tengok channel news je :D

malam first Mami sampai, Hafiy nangis-nangis masa nak tido, even if mata dah tak bole buka. macam2 Mami buat, tiup2 segala, bagi emem, semua taknak. last-last... bawak turun... Tok Ma bukak TV. OK.. barula tido! rupa-rupanya masa Mami takde, Hafiy tido kat depan TV.

Mami agak pantang kalau tido kat tempat lain selain bilik, kalau ada bilik. if balik kampung tak boleh buat ape la kan. itu Mami selalu kejut Abiy kalau beliau tertidur depan TV. bukan Abiy je, Tok Pa, Tok Ma & sape2 ajelah yang tertidur depan TV, Mami kejut suh tidur bilik. selain dari keselesaan di atas tilam, kat dalam bilik lebih secure dari ruang tamu. kalau kat ruang tamu tu, orang masuk ke (naudzubillah), terus jumpa kita dulu.

so, start dari malam berikutnya, lepas dinner je, Mami terus 'melarikan' Hafiy ke atas. syukurlah, sekarang if Mami lepak2 sekejap kat bawah, Hafiy dah merengek nak naik atas. kat atas lagi best main kan? Hafiy kan suka main buka-tutup bekas-bekas & main-main barang Mami especially perfume & sikat rambut.

now Hafiy dah big boy, 13 bulan dah. macam-macam perangai lah budak nak membesar.

(1) malam-malam tidur awal tapi midnight bangun, ada la apa-apa yang dikehendaki. malam tadi Hafiy nak main deodoran Mami. mula-mula macam biasa... cap and uncap. lepas tu calit2 kat badan Mami. and finally... nak jilat! oh itu sudah tiada dalam kurikulum penggunaan deodoran. bila Mami simpan balik, Hafiy nangis sekuat hati. offer benda2 lain semua Hafiy geleng. oh Mami tak larat nak layan. biar aje merengek-rengek sampai tidur sendiri.

(2) nak makan sendiri. nak lauk yang orang lain makan. tapi orang-orang tua suka tengok Hafiy makan. derang kata Hafiy pandai makan, tak main sumbat semua. makan suap sikit-sikit, ada lauk, sayur... tapi still la lantai makan lagi banyak. pastu suka suap orang. Mami & ABiy la yang selalu kena suap :D pandai Hafiy ni, nanti boleh suapkan Adik ye...

"mam Abiy, mam..!"

(3) tahu duk dalam toilet. kalau toilet cangkung, Hafiy cangkung. toilet duduk, Hafiy duduk. tapi kita tak ada pelapik toilet untuk toddler. pegi shopping complex je la dapat merasa sesekali...

(4) Hafiy suka selongkar drawer senduk Tok Ma dan peti ais tempat simpan sayur. benda paling disukai, main senduk, bawang dan belacan or asam jawa. kalau orang sibuk kat dapur, Hafiy pun sibuk sama nak tumbuk, nak masak sekali. so kene selalu ada senduk dan pinggan plastik kat tangan.

(5) dan macam-macam lagila perangai budak masuk tahun ke-2 kehidupan.

Mami & Abiy pulak kena ready dengan kerenah-kerenah yang bakal kami hadapi, especially benda2 berkenaan tantrum (why the young toddlers always associate with tantrum?). sekarang pun Hafiy dah menunjukkan ciri-ciri tersebut bila:-

(1) nak dokong tapi Mami suruh jalan. guling-guling kat lantai la jawabnya.
(2) bila nak buat something tapi tak dapat, i.e. tak dapat nak cap-kan botol, nasiblah botol tu kena campak (tapi Hafiy kutip balik dan cuba lagi. good).
(3) bila pegi bookstore, Hafiy suka grab color2 yang ada kat situ, especially water color dalam silinder kecik2 tu. kalau Mami cakap "..letak balik", Hafiy geleng. kalau Mami ambil dari tangan Hafiy, siaplah satu store tu Hafiy jerit.

dah la tu story sal Hafiy.

semalam Mami pegi check up Adik. he is 26 week now (*he, OK). alhamdulillah, Mami have no problem except bleeding gum dan perasaan 'kembang' di pintu gate Adik nak kuar nanti. Dr. Seri recommends Mami jumpa dentist, since Mami tak ada bleeding kat tempat lain i.e. nose, luka2, etc. so takde masalah dengan blood, cuma perkara biasa, during pregnancy gusi akan bengkak sikit. tapi kali ni teruk jugaklah bleeding gum tu, everytime gosok gigi berdarah yang sangat banyak & kadang2 if kumur without gosok gigi pun boleh berdarah. and about the perasaan 'kembang' could be because urat kembang. nanti lepas bersalin baru boleh treat (jika betul).

Dr Seri cakap, Adik agak besar lah. and maybe akan lahir besar. ops... saspen pulak. berat Mami pun naik mencanak2. dari 45kg before pregnant, sampailah 4 bulan 44kg je, 5 bulan jadi 50kg, sekarang dah dekat 54kg! masa Hafiy, full term Mami 55kg... isk isk isk. Mami gemuk! pipi pun kembang semangkuk dah ni.

image dicilok dari BabyCentre. tapi Adik tak duk cam gambar tu lah. kepala Adik kat bawah.

overall, Adik OK. gerak pun OK. plasenta pun kat atas. fibroid pun dah takde. cuma malu sikitlah Adik ni. semalam dua2 tangan tutup muka. Dr Seri suluh2 pun taknak bukak juga. print pun gamba tangan je. hehe. takpelah, nanti lain kali kita suluh lagi.

Mami pun ada tanya Dr Seri pasal GBS (Group B Streptococcus). dia kata, dia cuma akan buat test tu kalau ada simptom saja, like discharge yang luar biasa & dapat detect dari urine test. routinly, dia tak buat lah. Dr Seri cakap Mami, jangan risau ye, you sihat :) alhamdulillah.

tapi Mami lupa mintak surat naik flight. lagi 2 minggu dah 28week, kene ada surat dah nak fly.

sekarang malam-malam before tido Mami cakap-cakap ngan Hafiy sambil pegang perut. "ni Adik.. sayang Adik... Hafiy jaga Adik tau...bla bla bla" reaksi Hafiy? kadang2 kiss perut Mami. kadang2 buat derk je. kadang2 nangis. entah faham ke tidak :P

"Adik? ape tu?

alhamdulillah, kita bakal dapat boy lagi. Abiy dah saspen, takut rumah runtuh pulak. ye lah, dah dua2 boy kan. tapi biasalah budak2, kalau duk diaaaaam je, pelik pulak kan. Mami akan belajar, especially dari Tok Pi. kagum dengan dia. anak dia 3 lelaki berturut2, beza umur 1 & 2 tahun je. walaupun sangat2 playful, tapi sangat2 boleh diharap. usia tadika dah boleh jemur-angkat kain, kemas rumah, bancuh teh, siap bole buat kuih raya lagi. bukan setakat tolong Mak, tapi buat sendiri! biasa yang Mami tengok, budak lelaki usia tadika & tahap 1 sekolah rendah, keje nak main je...

Mami rasa.. mencabar juga lah sebenarnya. especially for Abiy. kawan2 sebaya Abiy baru nak memulakan hidup, baru nak kahwin, dan ramai lagi yang belum kahwin. Abiy dah nak masuk anak ke-2. kalau Mami, ramai dah kawan Mami anak 3-4 orang, so takde la rasa janggal. semoga Allah memelihara keluarga kita. yang penting, Allah bagi kekuatan pada Mami untuk mendidik anak-anak supaya tak menyusahkan orang lain.

bila tengok anak-anak orang (lain) pegi rumah/tempat orang, buat kecoh, buat sepah, etc. sikit sebanyak buat hostnya tak selesa, Mami pun saspen je.... anak-anak Mami behave tau? ameen. insya-Allah. :)

CMPA & Lactose Intolerance

Hafiy showed some symptoms of 'unsuitable with cow milk' when first time i added formula (Dupro) in his solid, 6 months back, but i wasn't aware. he got rashes and colic. actually it triggered questions for why did the strange rashes appear (it was like 'kena taik ulat' all over his body) but we tot because of the heat. Miri kan panas.

and it happened again last month, when i tried to supplement him with cow milk, after my milk dwindled. he got rashes and diarrhea for days.

i tot it was the sign of lactose intolerance, but as far as i remember, lactose intolerance (LI) wont produce rashes cos it's only play with the digestive system. it should not be more than:
- bloated
- ab cramp
- diarrhea
- colic

we didnt refer to any paed (it was raya then & we were at KB), i only asked the panel dr, and he suggested to change to the other milk.

so i went to pharmacy to find the best formula for Hafiy. after almost 1 hour 'researching' & send smses to some FF-moms, i came with a conclusion that, there are 3 types of fm:
- cow based milk with lactose
- cow based milk lactose free
- soy based milk

ok, we get rid of the first one, but now, which one? both are lactose free & LF cow milk is slighly cheaper..

so i did 'further research' and finally i suspected Hafiy to have CMPA (cow milk protein allergy) rather than LI. again, i didnt go to paed cos i think it was manageable :p

CMPA is not LI, and it's more severe, cos it's a kind of allergy that involve his imune system, not only the digestive system. it is life thretening! the symptoms include:
- diarrhea
- rashes and eczema
- vomit
- colic
- cough
- short of breath

it can appears in 45 minutes or after 24 hours of milk intake. if LI is the inability to break down the milk sugar (lactose), CMPA is worse cos it happens when the immune system reacts with cow protein, in abnormal way.

so babies with CMPA only can take soy formula, cos LF cow milk still has cow milk protein.

ironically, soy fm is d*mn expensive!

and i dun understand why Hafiy likes that fm so much. he never2 be like this during EBM time (ok i knew it. it could be because of incorrectly handled EBM by the caretaker?), now he drinks 1 tin of 900gram per week! bengkok mak tau!

but in the same time i feel so syukur cos he's 'willing' to take other milk, at least before Adik is born. tapi malam2 mengamuk jugak nak 'Em Mi'.

i hope Hafiy's CMPA wont be long. first, we have no family history of such allergy. second, he was fully breastfed for 1year, with 6 months of exclusive bf. most of the time, causes of CMPA is from family history & shorter duration of exclusive bf. i hope this is just the reaction from his first time exposure to cow milk.

oh but wait. this is a good news! i have a good 'excuse' to continue bf Hafiy nanti (in case orang tua bising2). "dia elergik susu lembu & susu soya mahal sangat! biar kongsi dengan Adik je, jimat" :p

*just wanna share the cost of this soy fm:
1 tin x RM54/tin/1week x 4 week/1month = RM54x4 per month!
berapa tu.. bole beli pam lagi satu :D
tapi demi anak2,apelah sangat kan?

Motherhood

when talking about motherhood, parenting and things relate to it, i feel so humble. i am only a so-and-so mother. i don't make a supermom. i don't have anything to be proud of, as a mother myself.

i can't provide the world's best things to my kids. i don't have high intelligence to see them in different angle, than what i am seeing them today. when i do someting on my kids, i don't know whether they're happy. i have not enough courage to push myself, to be what i should. i can't do what other mothers did.

sometimes i feel so low, especially when putting myself among other mothers. i feel so lousy, and been left far behind them. my day is keep on running but i'm still standing at the same point. i have nothing to be proud of, for being a mother.

but when looking at them, to kiss their cheeks, to hear them breathes, to smell their natural fragrants, to hug them close... i knew i did a great job!

afterall, becoming a mother is the greatest job ever!

*yesterday we met mother bloggers & other bloggers at Ryan birtday bash. what a day! till we meet again! (stories at Aunty Yaya's & Aunty Nannoor's blog).

What Ayat/Surah?

several friends asked me about "what is the ayat for this & that purpose?", "surah for this & that purpose?", example, "what is the ayat to calm my turbulence heart?", or "what surah to make my child/unborn child genius?", etc.

my standard answer would be "you read al-Quran, and ask forgiveness from Allah (istighfar)".

i believe that al-Quran had been sent to us through Muhammad SAW as a 'user manual' for us, not as a kind of 'medicine' or something to save you from any harm. and al-Quran is just a book, unless when we read it. and the whole al-Quran is asy-syifaa'.

should not read it during certain time or certain surah e.g. Surah Maryam, Yusuf, etc ONLY to be read during pregnancy for this & that purpose. should not only reading Yaasin on Friday night. and should not only read al-Quran only when you're on the praying mat.

i put myself in a lucky group for being born in a Malay family that made me a Muslim automatically. however, sometimes we take this for granted, cos we're born Muslim, it complacents us enough to 'no need to learn & do research bout Islam' until it makes us confuse between Islamic practice and Malay practice.

among the 'confusions' is how we treat the Holy Book. let's see...

MALAY PRACTICES:
1. keep al-Quran at the highest shelf to show our respect.
2. don't let children 'play' with al-Quran.
3. al-Quran is very exclusive & should be read on the praying mat/in the masjid.
4. be properly dressed to read al-Quran.
5. etc.

actually there's nothing wrong with above, cos they're also should be our manner toward al-Quran. but, what i can see the effects from 'improperly managed' those manners:
1. it's placed high and hard to get it frequently. then only the ants read.. or for exhibition. al-Quran should be 'treated' like other books and vice versa. keep it at lower shelf so that it is easy to access. and other books are also 'ilmu'. dont put them 'down'.
2. kids are not familiar with al-Quran and quite hard to make them love 'mengaji'.
3. when we're away from those places we do not familiar with reciting it at any other places, i.e., in the bus/train, while waiting for our order/friend in a restaurant, etc.
4. so many excuses for 'not able' to recite al-Quran.
5. etc.

i also heard many excuses to make them 'not able' to perform this practice:
1. don't understand Arabic so better read other articles.
2. can't recite al-Quran well.
3. -ditto- & afraid of sin if read it incorrectly.

but,
1. have you ever heard about Terjemahan or Translation? if you still confuse, go get an easy Tafsir. or find someone to help.
2. there's a hadith mentions 'for those who recite al-Quran well, he'll get 1 pahala. & those who can't do it well (but still reading) will get 2 pahala. so, enjoy the priviledge!
3. that's why we're asked to learn..

well, reading al-Quran is not a compulsory, meaning if you don't read it, you won't be punished. but imagine this, you entered exam hall and answer the paper without reading the instruction carefully. then after the paper is returned to you, you got 0% because of the instruction 'do not answer anything' that you didnt read. it is not compulsory to read the instruction, right? but for not reading it, you get 0%.

ok maybe it's a bit harsh. imagine you have a luxury car, with luxury color and fabulous look. but the speed limit is only 20km/h. how long will it takes you to your destination, compared to those cars with 240km/h speed limit?

and leave the mindset of 'i get this because i recite this surah/ayat'. it's not because the power of any ayat to bestow any bless, all comes from Allah's love (rahmat). the ayat/surah somehow is only our effort. do what He loves and leave things He hates. we'll get anything we want, insya-Allah (& at least a mind with serenity if we dont/cant have it).

Is Interactive-Educational Toys Worth?

personally, i dunno. but i 'think' it is subject to how (style) a parent grow the babies up. however, we are among the group who believe that 'in today's life, all unneccessary becomes neccessary cos your neighbours say so'. does it make sense?

world economic depends on consumerisme. when the purchasing power decreases, concurrently it will paralyse the stores, and manufactures. these businessmen, as smart as they can be, will do anything to get the purchasing power grows.

they knew that parents will do anything to the kids, so they use this as a strong weapon to make people think that they're doing an 'investment' by buying any so-called educational, development, interactive (whatever the names are) stuffs to their children. they're actually using our kids to dig our pockets.

to the extent that, there are mothers who think "poor my baby... he may not developes like other babies cos i can't afford those expensive educational toys".

to me (cos i can't afford too), toy is toy. anything can be toy, if we make it a toy. we have lots of things to play with, at home, and they'll never stop our children to be creative. don't feel sorry for not able to have a playground at home, cos our home is a big playground.

yes, educational toy maybe helps to boost lil' kids' skills, intelligent, etc. but if we have not enough resources (money, etc.), don't buy what the advert/others say. better put the extra money in the children's future education fund. for the time being, choose the simple rule of:

1. Parents
2. Children
3. Time
4. Love

remember that now the marketers are bringing up the unessential to be essential, then it will look so essential.

My English

i am very weak in english. ever. i was 'english-blinded' during my primary school years, and i just started to 'know' some english words before sitting for PMR exam. even if the medium used at UTP was english, but to be frank i was always blur and blank, especially during foreign lecturer's classes.

in my organisation (work), english is the major language, especialy in emails and meetings. but still, i can't speak/write well. my email/report always need to be reviewed by my supervisor (jd cikgu english plak dia). and many uh-ah in meetings (tho i chaired most of it!).

this week i am attending a seminar (about work), and most of the presenters are from UK. and i have difficulty to comprehend UK english, for US english it's easier (just a lil bit easier) cos i'm used to watch US movies, news and TV shows. even if Malaysian follows UK english, but i cant even understand the accent. so i couldnt even absorb any drop from their presentations ;(

i really want to improve my english, especially when talking to UK people... oh God i hope there's no UK people around, but in my office, all the white guys are from UK! very hard to speak with them because i cant understand any single word they say, and they also couldnt understand mine! very the broken. but unfortunately my application to attend English class organized by the office was rejected :(

i know i should do something. and make sure my children wont be like me. they should be able to write, read and speak in english fluently, especially UK tounge. so what's next? watch Harry Potter? subscribe BBC? have frequent chat with those UK guys? speak english at home??? hehe.