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The Saddest Moment in My Nursing Diary

my milk production faces dramatic decline since i got pregnant. from 4-6oz per session, it drops to 1-3 oz, and now since Ramadhan it drops again to less than 1 oz. lucky that Hafiy is a reverse cycler, so i dont have to worry much about how much i could provide everyday to him. but this time no more stock-making, due to some restriction i have here, i.e. the fully-loaded old refridgerator and the lesser production.

when Abiy is here, everynight i follow him to masjid for terawikh, leaving Hafiy with Bibik. (Hafiy starts to call for bed at 8, we decided not to bring him along to masjid for he might be very cranky). when we back home, i wake Hafiy up, and then breastfeed him before both of us go to sleep.

usually we have no problem doing this, unless if i pump before breastfeeding, Hafiy will be a bit cranky. but last nite was a different story. i tried to get him to sleep from 12am to 1am, but he was still "u ekkk... eeekkk". i started to ask "what happen to you? sakit perut? sakit apa?" but like no sign of any pain on him. i started to worry because he only latched on for 5-6 seconds then merengek-rengek back. could be my milk was too little to satisfy him?

i took his bottle, pour 2oz of plain water into it and hand it to him. Hafiy drank the 2 oz water, closed his eyes.. sleep! OMG, he was thirsty! i started to think about what i did that night... i ate 5 biji kurma (too sweet i couldn't take more!), i had a glass of oat nesvita, the rehydration drink and lot of plain water. i ate rice, cake and crackers. it should not be because of my meal.

now that i start to rethink. i can't eat and drink much or i'll vomit them all. and i won't supply him with formula. last week i sent a mail to an LC and she suggested me to break my fast so that i will have enough supply for Hafiy. actually i had think about this days ago when my supply went down to less than half an oz per pumping session, but i tot it was OK since Hafiy doesnt drink much during the day and i can supply enough milk at night. now that it looks like i have the problem at night as well. we'll see how, if the things still unchange, i'll take what Allah has given to breastfeeding ladies who face difficulties in supplying enough milk for their babies.

OK, some friends suggested to supply formula je & continue puasa, but since Allah has already gives the rukhsah for BF moms who face difficulties (like what i'm facing) and He never (as far as my knowledge) asks BF moms to give artificial milk so that can continue puasa. so i'll take what Allah loves the most. :) [rukhsah is a gift from Him & He loves whoever takes that gift]

sadly that i can't take any herb like milkmaid tea, fenugreek and whatsoever due to pregnancy - as advised by LCs.