Thank You & Selamat Mengakhiri Ramadhan

we would like to thanks to everybody for the wish on Tok Pa's demise. Allah blesses everybody.

via SMS : Sis Laily, Che, Mira Jazila, Aida & family, Ola, Noor, Cupi, Cheq, Laila, Mia, Ida & family, Rose, Yati, Cherie, N, Adda, Lina, Zuhaini, KV, Salzahari, Iryani, Jaa, Luna, Rina & family, Shazzy, Yasmin, Fid, Muni Hanim, Ina, Aishah, Aliaa, Jua & family, Celia, Mardhiyah, Dee, Ajasu, Ho, SyaSya, Iena, Zu, Laney, Erynn, Mira, Hanis, Tum, Ain, bro Izlan, & Aji.

via email : KGBians and PCSBians.

via Haloscan : Sis Mama Emma, Mrs Noba, Mommylyssa, Zuhaini, Ealyie, CT, Arnie, Ina, Fahidayati, Fith, Zid, Mamaimran, Sarah, Wall, Rizza, Mirah, Yatie, Ja, Suhainini, Azeemah, Prifiz, Intan & Bro Sayuti.

semoga hari-hari terakhir Ramadhan menemukan kita dengan malam yang lebih baik dari 1000 bulan. [97:3]

********************

we've been dreaming for an iktikaf at Masjid Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah (Masjid Shah Alam) since ever. but the previous Ramadhan, we were not assembled here, as Abiy were in Miri in 2006 and I was in KB in 2007. this year, we perform our puasa Ramadhan in KL. so, Abiy told me about iktikaf during the final nights of Ramadhan, all of us. we asked the people in the house, Tok Ma, Aunty Fatin, Uncle Muhd and not forgetting the one and only Bibik, and all of them interested to join.

we chose 27th Ramadhan, since it is the beginning of weekend and concurrent with Malam Tujuh Likur.

after tarawikh at Masjid Damansara Damai, we went to UM to fetch Aunty Fatin and straight to Shah Alam.

we just brought things such as telekung & al-Quran, with gebar & kasur to rest. for Hafiy i brought a pillow, a sweater, a blanket, diapers, a bottle of plain water, a bottle of milk (in case he needs milk & my letdown is nil, i can use the bottle), socks and books.

alhamdulillah, Hafiy slept like a log as we reached the masjid, gave me time to recite al-Quran. at about 1am, we slept and woke up at 3am to perform solat sunat. at around 4am, the masjid buat solat sunat tahajud, taubat & hajat berjemaah.

this time Hafiy woke up, and as usual, i prayed while carrying him. he was a bit cranky in the morning cos all his friends were still in deep sleep. oh why lah other babies can sleep very soundly despite the noise but my baby ni terus nak bangun... and Hafiy went back to sleep after the jemaah finished until Subuh.

we ate sahur, performed Subuh and went back home.

this is my very first experience spending a night in a masjid with my family and babies. i feel so good after doing it, even if get not enough sleep but we manage to do solat sunat, the thing that is very unlikely to perform at home, as Hafiy will wake up everytime i open my eyes after midnite. and the panggilan tilam calls me to re-sleep while making him sleep.

oh ya, a friend of mine once told, it's not good for a lady to spend time in masjid, as Rasulullah 'melarang' wanita ke masjid. i asked about the dalil, she said there's a hadis mentioning about solat wanita di rumah adalah lebih baik dan keluar ke masjid menjadi fitnah kepada wanita2 Islam. however, i told her (from my narrow knowledge), there lots of hadis about keutamaan wanita ke masjid such as : "janganlah kamu melarang kaum wanita pergi ke masjid" (HR Bukhari), "jika isteri kamu meminta untuk ke masjid, maka janganlah melarangnya" (HR Bukhari & Muslim). dan banyak kisah tentang wanita2 menyertai aktiviti di masjid.

and about the hadis tentang solat di rumah lebih baik, actually it is more than that. the full hadis is "janganlah kamu melarang wanita2 ke masjid, dan solat di rumah adalah lebih baik" (HR Abu Daud).

from my opinion, jika pergi ke masjid menjadi fitnah kepada wanita, kenapa kita tak melarang diri kita (wanita) & wanita2 lain melakukan aktiviti lain seperti pegi sekolah, pegi kerja, malah berekreasi yang bercampur langsung dengan lelaki? kenapa wanita tak dilarang pegi bershupping di super ke hypermarket yang terang2 musim perayaan ni penuh dengan umat, tapi dilarang pula ke rumah Allah? kenapa wanita Islam dilarang ke masjid sedangkan wanita Kristian bole saja pegi ke gereja? adakah duduk di rumah & berborak kosong, tengok TV, berjaga buat kuih raya, etc. adalah lebih baik dari berada di masjid? kenapa banyak sangat pantang larang wanita Islam kalau nak jadi hamba yang baik? (ada orang cakap menyusu lebih 2 tahun pun Islam kata tak boleh!)

from Yusuf al-Qadrawi, menurutnya solat wanita lebih baik di rumah sekiranya jika dia ke masjid, tujuannya hanya untuk jemaah dan bukan untuk beriktikaf, dengar ceramah, belajar, dengar bacaan al-Quran,bersilaturrahim, berdakwah, etc. maknanya kalau sekadar mahu solat saja, lebih baiklah solat di rumahnya, tetapi jika ada benefit2 lain, maka harus untuk seseorang wanita itu ke masjid. malah Imam Syafie menyarankan wanita2 ke masjid kerana ayat2 dalam al-Quran secara generalnya menyuruh semua orang ke masjid, tak kira lelaki atau wanita.

walaubagaimanapun, tujuan ke masjid mestilah betul benar dan mendapat keizinan suami, however, dari hadis2 di atas, sewajarnya suami izinkanlah isteri ke masjid. dan jadikanler motivasi untuk semua ke masjid juga bila isteri mengajak...

akhirul kalam,

SELAMAT MENGAKHIRI RAMADHAN al-MUBARAK,
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI FITRAH,
& MAAF ZAHIR BATIN DARI KAMI SEKELUARGA.

-Alom@Lyna, Zainul, Hafiy & Adik.

jemputlah ke rumah!

Tok Pa' Demise. Al-Faatihah

21st September 2008, beginning of 10th last night of Ramadhan & the autumnal equinox

at about 11.30pm, Tok Pa was breathless (SoB). Tok Hawa (who is also a specialist doctor) asked Tok Ma to contact all siblings. Atok-Atok came minutes later recited Yaasin for Tok Pa. Tok Ma, Abiy, Aunty Fatin & Uncle Muhd didn't ever leave Tok Pa's couch in Tok Hawa's living room.

Mommy tried to get Hafiy to sleep, since it was midnite, but Hafiy refused, until we (Abiy & Mommy) had to get him into the car and drove for 10minutes, then only he fall asleep. at home, Hafiy tossed and turned, and refused to sleep until Mommy had to bring him to a room located at the back, which is quite far from the 'noise'.

at about 2.00am, Hafiy screamed and cried. only when Mommy brought him to where Tok Pa was, he stop crying. Hafiy really wanted to look at Tok Pa so Mommy carried him to Tok Pa. everybody was there, in fact surrounding the couch.

at 3.33am, Tok Pa left us for good.. after 6 month suffering acute lukaemia.

* i dont know what to story...tak ada mood skg (will blog later about the story behind & beyond - many things to write)

*Lil' Updates:

Hafiy:-
- can walk! dalam masa 2 hari practise tak henti2 sampai malam tido lena kepenatan. now asik berjalan aje. mula2 jalan macam hantu cina (tangan ke depan) now dah pandai letak tangan belakang, pegang barang, etc. :)
- add vocabs!
- em/emem = minum
- mam = makan
- nak em = nak minum
* Mommy tak baik tau.. ajuk2 Hafiy cakap macam tu. :P
- botak balik. kepala asik ruam jer.
- know how to socialize. kat kampung Hafiy kawan2 dengan second cousins Hafiy, anak2 Acik Noni.
- love to kiss Aunty Fatin.
- pandai salam & cium tangan.
- bila dengar orang ngaji or solat, Hafiy angkat takbir & sujud.
- bila orang tahlil Hafiy goyang2 badan macam biasa orang tahlil buat (padehal baru tengok sekali je).

Adik:-
- i can feel Adik's kickin'! tapi Adik cuma kick masa Abang Hafiy takde. kalo Abang Hafiy ada Adik duk diam je.

What to Expect When You Are Expecting + Breastfeeding

this is purely from my experience and my friends', with mimimun reference to other reliable sources i.e. LCs, doctors and reading materials.
***ZIILION THANKS for all your comments & supports. so sorry for not being able to reply 'em, but we truly appreciate YOUR WARM MESSAGES! hug hug hug.

what you have to know before 'getting excited' of having or trying to have another one while the elder one is still nursing:-

THE YAY!
1. breastfeeding while pregnant won't harm the unborn child nor the nursing baby/toddler.

2. uterine contraction is common (the uterus contracts since ever but it wasn't noticed if we're not pregnant for it's very small) even so the contraction during sexual activity is stronger than breastfeeding/milk pumping.

3. many mothers are actually did this!

THE HUH!
1. some mothers will develop tender nipples than ever, this can be reduced by changing position during nursing.

2. milk volume will decrease and at second trimester, colostrum started to form, makes the milk taste changes. colostrum is different than regular milk we produce in term of taste and its richness, at some stage, the toddler needs other source of nutrition.

3. for mothers with premature labour/ miscarriage/bleeding history, it is advisable to wean the baby off for it might trigger to another miscarriage. or, please get your doctor's advise.

4. mother needs to eat more. breastfeeding needs 500 calorie and pregnancy requires 300 calorie, make it total 800 calorie/ day! and this varies for different mothers, depending on body size, climate and activities.

5. once the milk drop, it's almost impossible to recover it to the previous state.

6. morning sickness, no appretite to food, vomiting, etc. those lead to dehydration will slow down the milk and let down, some mothers 'lose' the milk at all.

7. prolactin is directionally proportional with estrogen, but inversely proportional with progesterone. this imbalance hormone will slow down the milk, even if there is high demand, it is more depending on the hormone. when the baby is born and the estrogen back to its state, the prolactin will be induced by demand from those babies and the milk will increase again.

8. the body is no longer same with the non-pregnant breastfeeding moms. any lactogenic food will gives only minimum effect.

9. no pills, no herbs, no no, or they will harm the fetus.

10. some toddlers wean themselves off during the stage their mothers starts to develop colostrum.

THE YAY! AGAIN
1. most toddlers who wean during the second trimester started to nurse again as soon as the little ones are born!

on top of that, this is the most precious experience in my life. and i won't let it go!

The Saddest Moment in My Nursing Diary

my milk production faces dramatic decline since i got pregnant. from 4-6oz per session, it drops to 1-3 oz, and now since Ramadhan it drops again to less than 1 oz. lucky that Hafiy is a reverse cycler, so i dont have to worry much about how much i could provide everyday to him. but this time no more stock-making, due to some restriction i have here, i.e. the fully-loaded old refridgerator and the lesser production.

when Abiy is here, everynight i follow him to masjid for terawikh, leaving Hafiy with Bibik. (Hafiy starts to call for bed at 8, we decided not to bring him along to masjid for he might be very cranky). when we back home, i wake Hafiy up, and then breastfeed him before both of us go to sleep.

usually we have no problem doing this, unless if i pump before breastfeeding, Hafiy will be a bit cranky. but last nite was a different story. i tried to get him to sleep from 12am to 1am, but he was still "u ekkk... eeekkk". i started to ask "what happen to you? sakit perut? sakit apa?" but like no sign of any pain on him. i started to worry because he only latched on for 5-6 seconds then merengek-rengek back. could be my milk was too little to satisfy him?

i took his bottle, pour 2oz of plain water into it and hand it to him. Hafiy drank the 2 oz water, closed his eyes.. sleep! OMG, he was thirsty! i started to think about what i did that night... i ate 5 biji kurma (too sweet i couldn't take more!), i had a glass of oat nesvita, the rehydration drink and lot of plain water. i ate rice, cake and crackers. it should not be because of my meal.

now that i start to rethink. i can't eat and drink much or i'll vomit them all. and i won't supply him with formula. last week i sent a mail to an LC and she suggested me to break my fast so that i will have enough supply for Hafiy. actually i had think about this days ago when my supply went down to less than half an oz per pumping session, but i tot it was OK since Hafiy doesnt drink much during the day and i can supply enough milk at night. now that it looks like i have the problem at night as well. we'll see how, if the things still unchange, i'll take what Allah has given to breastfeeding ladies who face difficulties in supplying enough milk for their babies.

OK, some friends suggested to supply formula je & continue puasa, but since Allah has already gives the rukhsah for BF moms who face difficulties (like what i'm facing) and He never (as far as my knowledge) asks BF moms to give artificial milk so that can continue puasa. so i'll take what Allah loves the most. :) [rukhsah is a gift from Him & He loves whoever takes that gift]

sadly that i can't take any herb like milkmaid tea, fenugreek and whatsoever due to pregnancy - as advised by LCs.

Playtime with Hafiy

in the living room

"Hafiy give me the XXX* (XXX=anything he holds), please"
(Hafiy passes the XXX)
"Thank you, I love you!" (kiss)

"Hafiy look how i toss this" (tossing any object)
(Hafiy tries, but usually instead of tossing, he slamming it down).
"look how i'm doing it" (keep on tossing)
(Hafiy keeps on trying)
"let me help you, could i?"
"arghhhh" translation : "let me do it myself!"

"Hafiy please get the blue XXX for me, please" (pointing at the blue XXX)
(Hafiy takes another thing)
"not that red YYY, i want the blue XXX"
(Hafiy keeps on taking another thing)
"not that yellow ZZZ, the blue XXX please"
on and on and on until he gets the blue XXX.

"please put your toys inside their box before we go to sleep OK" (collect the toys and get them into the box)
(let Hafiy helps)

in the kitchen

(Mommy's peeling fruits)
"i'm peeling this mango. don't worry i'll teach you how when you are big enough to hold the knife"

(Bibik's tumbuk2 lesung)
"you want to try?" (give the alu to him)
(Hafiy tumbuk2 the lesung)

(Mommy's cooking Hafiy kena duduk jauh2 sikit. bahaya!)

in the bedroom

"Hafiy you read this book Mommy read this book"

"Hafiy please put the clothes inside the laundy basket"

"Hafiy come we play cards"

(free activities : panjat, terjun, lari, tarik, jatuhkan)

begitulah kehidupan sehari-hari budak kecik yang tak ada mainan :D

Hafiy 11 Month & Adik 16 Week

how fast time flies. Hafiy is 11 month old and Adik is 4 month in my womb. we still can’t notice any obvious movement from Adik (though he/she is moving :D). maybe because of puasa so Adik doesn’t kick vigorously lah. and maybe as well because of the fibroid pressing my womb making the space for Adik to kick is limited. but don’t worry Adik will get bigger and press the tumor back, kan Adik?

Hafiy is developing his skills, walking (4-5 steps forward), babbling [mama=Mami, bababa or bebebe=Abiy, mbik=Bibik, nak, byebye (but it sounds weird), mememe (tgh mengamuk],play with his form fitter and rings, putting his toys into its box, combs his hair, put things into laundry basket (not only the clothes but anything available), unwrap the food wrapper. etc. an interesting part is, he likes to water the plant. actually, he just supervises la.. the watering job done by Bibik. everymorning he'll scream, bending body, as a signal to go out and water the plants, so does in the evening (nak jadi petani kot).

since ever Hafiy is so clingy. Bibik has to cook while carrying him. so i asked her to put him aside. if she’s doing tumbuk2, give the lesung to him as well. now that if he goes to kitchen, he’ll ask for the lesung. when she’s on the stove, put Hafiy aside on the kitchen cabinet and give him something to play with, carrots or onion, etc.

now Hafiy knows how to protest and mengamuk guling-guling if anything he wants to 'say', nobody understand or when he doesn't get what he wants. i told Abiy that we should bring him out sometimes, to make him familiar with outside world, and to prevent him from being 'too free to mengamuk guling-guling' outside. Abiy said, maybe after Hafiy could walk independently by himself then we'll bring him out (again).

our activity during Ramadhan is not much. usually i reach home at 5 something, take 5 on my bed, bath, wash the pumping gears and breastfeed Hafiy. then i'll cook for berbuka and spend time with Hafiy while waiting for the azan. at night, i let him play in the bedroom (he has no time to sit back & relax) while watching him. he can do unexpected things without supervision i.e. climbing shelves/cupboard, get something from heigh, etc. when the things go out of control, the only cure is Tom Tom Bak. he'll stay put watching the show before we go to bed. [somebody told me that a good mother won't let her kids watch TV show especially something like Tom Tom Bak. i didn't object, but to me, whatever it is, it's up to the mother's parenting skill. a good person brings something good from shit, but a vice versa turns something good into shit :)].

we are still waiting for Adik to kick (he/she's kicking now neway, it's just i still can't feel him/her). and the dilemma is, how many weeks Adik is? because my period stopped 2 months before i got pregnant, the gynaes only can determine the EDD and the gestation week through ultrasound. last check up, there were 3 differents week, 15, 16 & 17. so i chose the average, 16 week, OK la kan? this maybe not a big deal for others, but for us, we have to plan ahead. i don't want Abiy to miss the birth again!

we might have a big turning moment in our life. i still can't predict what will happen, but Adik's time is definitely tough, unlike Hafiy's. during Hafiy's, everything went well and smooth. this time, so many things happens. hopefully Adik will be tough as well OK.

Carrying Two?

no, i'm not carrying twin.

yesterday Adik & i went to PCMC for our very first regular check up with Dr Seri. she's as friendly as Dr Aida, and a very nice lady. after learning our data, she invited us to the couch for ultrasound.

everything was OK on Adik. but we still couldn't see whether Adik is a she or he. sitting on old man position, Adik was reserving energy by hibernating. Dr Seri said "baby you duk mengerekot ni".

she tried to peep what was between Adik's legs. however, she discovered something else..

"you ada fibroid ke dear?"
"takdepun"
"yes you are. ni ha dia duk tekan rahim you. patutlah space kecik je utk baby. sian Adik tersepit"
"ha??? (shocked)"
"obvious sangat nampak ni kat tepi ovari you"
"then, what should i do now? (blur)"
"nothing to worry.. ia tak effect baby"

went back home, i googled 'fibroid and pregnancy' and sms-ed some friends about fibroid and its effects on my:
- pregnancy
- future conception
- milk!
alhamdulillah all answers i got were positive :) - tp saspen jugak nih -