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Separation Anxiety

Hafiy developed separation anxiety since dia 'kenal orang'. normally babies dalam around 7-18 months will have this. mereka cuma nak dengan orang yang biasa je, especially mak nye lah. biasalah, mana2 baby yang normal pun Mami rasa ada mengalami benda ni. (maybe ada la baby yg jenis selamba je, tak kisah pun sapa2 ambil, itu pun normal juga).

separation anxiety yg dialami Hafiy (sejak2 datang KL) memang dalam kategori kronik juga la. selain Abiy, Mami & Bibik, orang lain tolong jangan pandai2 nak ambil, nanti dia menjerit kuat2. Bibik pun kalau Mami ada, tak laku jugak. & sekarang dah pandai hempas2 badan atas dokong orang. last weekend kita balik Jerantut, semua orang excited nak pegang Hafiy, but sorry! Mami ingatkan boleh la Mami rehat2 sikit, since ramai orang boleh tolong jaga Hafiy tapi semua Hafiy taknak :) bertuah sungguh budak hensem ni.

however, i believe that, nothing i've done has made Hafiy undergoes this anxiety. it's not my fault spoiling him. mothers with separation anxiety babies, don't worry, it's perfectly normal.

it indicates that our babies are:-
- have a loving attachment to us, the mothers/fathers.
- know that we give them the safest place to holding on. isn't it sweet?
- smart! they know what are their needs and what are the effects if their need are not fulfilled.
- developing intellectuality. they know the secured place and avois strangers.

luckily, our family are well.. very sporting & takdela nak cakap benda bukan2 on Hafiy. cuma derang terkilan cos tak dapat main2 dengan Hafiy, dokong2 Hafiy, etc/ pasal Hafiy akan jerit, hempas2 badan, bila derang nak ambil. alhamdulillah... dulu2 ada jugak yang cakap "tu la asik ajar dokong je dia, sampai dah tak boleh letak bawah". haa.. cuba la amik kejap, memang surrender la sapa2 yang cakap macam tu. hehe. last2 mengaku jugak memang kegemaran Hafiy macam tu.

dealing with families/friends/anyone who likes to complaint about our separation anxiety babies:
- works for me satu cara je. RAIKAN SAJALAH & kalo taknak dengar, PEKAKKAN TELINGA :)
orang akan komplen saja apa benda yg tak ada kaitan dengan hidup dia. anak kita separation anxiety pun orang komplen, "mak tak bole nak buat kerja kalau anak clingy macam ni", etc. kalau anak takde separation anxiety pun orang komplen juga "budak mudah sangat ikut orang, silap haribulan kena culik takde orang perasan", etc. :) apa2 pun as parents, doakan yang terbaik untuk mereka & accept our children for who they are.

be contented with separation anxiety babies:
- let them be themselves. they are babies. be happy and proud for having them. out there, so many parents even trying for years to have one.
- it's wonderful having a child who loves to be with us all the time.it tells that the bond we worked all this while is created, and even so strong.
- it's not spoiling them bila kita terlalu 'love' diorang macam tu. in fact with the attachment, they'll grow up more confident and secure.
- allow them to the 'separation' they initiate. kalo derang main sorang2, don't interrupt & if they go to another space, don't rush to follow. just give them a peep to ensure they're safe.
- don't push. this is a normal milestone, and they'll move to the next milestone sooner.
- don't hilang tiba2. this will cause them constant worry if we hilang tiba2. they'll be clingier and diminish their trust.
- be positive when leaving them. when off to work, don't be nervous and anxious cos these will make them feel the same! leave them with smile and little note "nanti petang Mami balik kita main lagi yerrr.. mwah!"
- offer distraction when leaving them with someone else. give them toys or books to play with, and say quick goodbye. make the stay fun for them.
- practise quick & safe separation. example, if we go to bathroom, make sound so that they know we're not leaving them. i play peek-a-boo!
- IGNORE what if people say negative thing about our babies. or, print an article about separation anxiety and ask them to read. just ask Profesor Google, only by typing 'separation anxiety' :)

when i said, parenting, breastfeeding... are among the things we ought to learn, by reading or from any other resource, ramai yang tak setuju, cos they said those things are natural and it will come naturally. but i still love to read and learn, even if they are natural, cos there are lots of things i do not know, and i won't know they are normal if just by try and error or look and feel.

well,we have our own way and style, right?