My Miracles

it has been a week since i left Hafiy with Tok Ma in KL. rindu??? mana boleh tak!!! everynite Mami kene tengok gamba2 Hafiy. pastu call Hafiy (ni Hafiy request, if tak, Hafiy tak senang duduk).

since then, Adik started to move very actively (before this like lazy2 je). Mommy noticed that when we're with Abang Hafiy, Adik didn't move like this la. the movement became so obvious (until i could see the waves on my tummy) since we went to Sibu. could be Adik was very happy to see Abiy, and alone with Mommy and Abiy? :P

when looking at Hafiy's pics, i feel like years. how i miss to cuddle him to sleep everynight while breastfeeding him. and having him pulling my hair and ears to wake up everymorning.

Hafiy beraya. no songkok, no samping.

*please excuse the messy room.

macamana nak buka botol ni?


..scribble..scribble...


wow! what a huge wheely! so big my car's tyres never can beat.


what did Mommy put on her face?

rasa macam magic je. time flies too fast until Mommy failed to catch up lots of things. career, personality, my visions&missions, family, children... and lots more... i'm still running to run through and be in line with all the things. ooh my...

sometimes i ask myself, when can i be a good Mommy? selalu tak dapat spend quality time with my own children. i dont want to blame my job, cos other moms also FTWM, yet they manage to do everything with their kids (i'm not that busy pun). even i don't jahit menjahit like Mommy Adam pun... but nape takde time?

nevertheless, i wanna make sure Hafiy can master some early practical life skills (which a 12-MO toddler could have lah, (according to my doc-to-be sister) i never expect too high), what i have in my list (he already has the basic, but yet not systematic):
- washing hands
- washing face
- brushing teeth
- use napkin to dab his mouth
- feeding self
- screwing and unscrewing lid
- walking up and down stairs (some asked us to put safety gate, but i prefer him to learn the skill)
- scribbling
- neatening his belongings

i hope we're (Abiy & i) gonna have more time to show him the right ways to do all those things (even if he WILL say NO to any attempt to assist, is my boy a self-learner?). *this is a silent message to my bosses, that all of us have to stay together as a family.

and introducing....

Abiy said Adik (my tummy) looks tooo big for 5 months.

A Trip to Sibu

this time Mommy came back to Miri without Hafiy, so Abiy dengan gumbiranya mengajak pergi jalan-jalan Sibu. maklumlah Mami tak pernah sampai. nak ke Kuching jauh sangat.

Sibu town is about 5 hours driving from Miri. ia terletak tengah-tengah, between Miri and Kuching. if Sibu pun dah 5 hours, so Kuching??? oh itu mau naik flight sajala nanti2.

luas tau Sarawak ni

we planned to stay overnight in Sibu. tapi senang lah becos tak payah prepare keperluan kanak-kanak :D this time kira our honeymoon lah. plus Adik, bawak Adik jalan-jalan. Hafiy dulu kami bawak pegi Brunei, siap naik bot lagi. kasi can la kat Adik pulak.

lepas pekena roti canai sebelah Klinik Dr. Phillip Raja (what's the name ah? i always call it 'canai pilip' je without bothering the restaurant's real name :P), kami gerak menuju ke arah selatan. it was about 10am lah. lewat sikit sebab Abiy nak tunggu kedai buka, nak beli mag.

journey ke Bintulu dalam 2.5 jam. kami melalui Niah, gua yang femes tu (bile nakgi Niah ni?). sepanjang2 jalan ke Bintulu, most of the time lalu ladang kelapa sawit yang saujana mata memandang. i have a friend yang tinggal kat ladang tu, her husband is the Mill Manager kat Derawan Estate, Aunty Nana. banyak kali plan nak jumpe tapi belum ada rezeki.

sampai Bintulu dalam 12.30pm, kami tak drop by lah. sebab Sibunya jauh lagi. Bintulu pun bandar oil & gas. kat sini ada plant LNG terbesar. ramai kawan2 kami jadi pekerja kat MLNG, ABF dan BCOT. tapi memang tak sempat nak singgah, sorry ye orang Bintulu.

senang je sebenarnya jalan-jalan kat Sarawak ni. sebab dia ada satu jalan je. ada la simpang2, contohnya ke Mukah, Kapit, tu kena tengok signboard lah. sepanjang jalan selepas Bintulu tu, banyak rumah-rumah panjang kat tepi jalan. tapi sekarang rumah panjang dah moden, siap ada rumah batu lagi. tak adelah rupa rumah panjang yang biasa dibayangkan orang Semenanjung. cuma ciri binaannya masih mengekalkan ciri-ciri rumah panjang asal, macam satu dewan yang luas kat dalam tu walaupun depannya ada banyak pintu.

one of the rumah panjang

jalan raya ke Sibu, boleh tahan lah. kalau nak compare dengan PLUS tu janganlah... kira standard jalan Ipoh-KB, KL-KB lah. cuma kena hati-hati bawa kereta, sebab most of the time maxis tak ade line. kalo jadi apa-apa kan susah pulak.

kami tiba di Sibu jam 3 petang. sempat lagi pegi bank sebelum check in kat RH Hotel. OK la ratenya, kami dapat corporate rate, dapat la diskaun hampir 50%. lepas check in, pegi lunch kat Wisma Sanyan, sebelah hotel. senang lah sebab ada jambatan je ke situ, tak payah cross jalan.

sebelah Mami tu bangunan hotel, belakang tu Sanyan

disebabkan tak ada restoran lain, kami makan Pizza Hut. tapikan, pizza, sup kat sini sangat sedap! rotinya lembut sampai ke rakusan terakhir, supnya pun pekat. samada orang Sibu pandai masak atau kami yang lapar sangat :D

Bandar Sibu dari bilik kami (sungguh tak pro ini fotografer)

petangnya penat sangat, rehat2 kat bilik je. malamnya baru keluar, jalan-jalan cari makan. susah juga nak makan, sebab tak jumpa food court yang Abiy kata ada banyak restoran Melayu. melilau cari sampai ke outskirt. last-last masuk town balik, makan Mc Donald's je :D

ke Sibu ni, Mami tak bawa pam. ye lah.. maybe sebab assume sakit2 brst tu sebab dia tengah prepare untuk Adik. sekali.. tak tahan sangat, Mami perah dengan tangan, subhanallah memancut2 keluarnya. tapi disebabkan Mami tak reti, sakit jadinya itupun lepas tanya Prof Google. sampai hari ni masih sakit lagi.(mmg tak pandai. itupun lepas tanya Prof Google. sampai hari ni masih sakit lagi). masa tu terasa, alangkah bestnya kalau Hafiy ada... boleh bagi Hafiy minum...

lepas makan, jalan-jalan je sekitar 'Gerbang Sibu' tu.

di Gerbang Sibu

esoknya, lepas breakfast, kami ambil gambar lagi kat dataran depan hotel. disebabkan kami bukan kaki bergambar, jadi gambar-gambarnya pun ala kadar saje lah..

di dataran

lepas tu, check out dan jalan-jalan kat jeti pula. dulu, sebelum ada jambatan, nak ke Sarikei, Kuching, kena cross Batang (Sungai) Rajang dengan feri. sekarang dah ada jambatan, senanglah sikit. tak payah sesak2 tunggu feri.

Batang Rajang

swan, lambang Bandar Sibu

on the way balik, kami ingat nak singgah Mukah. mungkin boleh cuba umai sedap, ulat sagu (ngee~) dan udang galah. tapi sayangnya jalannya terlalulah tidak menyelesakan. bayangkan sepanjang-panjang yg tak tahu berapa puluh km tu boleh lari paling laju 20km/j je. last2 kami decide untuk patah balik sajelah, atau pinggang kami yang patah.

temple terbesar di Malaysia ada di sini


hadiah dari jalan ke Mukah

kami singgah di Bintulu untuk lunch dan solat. lepas tu teruskan perjalanan ke Miri, jam 6 sampai, Maghrib dah...

tak pernah jumpa nasi macam ni kat Food Court Semenanjung

alhamdulillah, walaupun tak jauh, semoga musafir kami diberkati Allah. setelah menghadapi peristiwa-peristiwa yang tidak dijangka, ada masanya kita perlukan sesuatu medium untuk menenangkan diri. di satu tempat yang jauh dari keributan kerja dan kehidupan harian yang kalut, bila sesekali bepergian berdua, banyak perkara yang dapat diselesaikan.

dan Mami tidak merasakan ini (pergi tanpa Hafiy) adalah perkara yang tidak adil bagi Hafiy. kerana Mami dan Abiy juga manusia biasa, kami juga perlukan ruang untuk berbicara berdua dan menyelesaikan beberapa perkara secara sendirian. lagipun, hati seorang bapa masih lagi hati seorang lelaki, tak sama dengan hati seorang ibu. seorang ibu, bila mendapat anak, kasih sayangnya tidak berbelah bahagi pada anak-anak, hingga kadang-kadang melebihi dari suami sendiri. tapi hati suami kadangkala menginginkan keadaan yang tenteram, alone with his wife, jauh dari pengaruh anak-anak.

syukurlah Allah memberi kemudahan pada kami. dengan adanya pengasuh yang boleh menjaga Hafiy malam-malam, memberi kami masa untuk dating sekali-sekala. walaupun ada yang mengatakan masih terlalu awal untuk dating berdua, sekarang masa untuk anak-anak, tapi bagi Mami, kebahagiaan rumahtangga itu harus dijaga dari awal. terpulanglah pada keadaan individu kan. lain orang, lain ragamnya. pandai-pandailah memoderatekan. jangan kerana terlalu pentingkan anak, suami/isteri terabai dan jangan terlalu pentingkan suami/isteri sampai anak-anak terabai. anak itu tanggungjawab dan amanah pada suami dan isteri, namun kunci syurga isteri terletak pada keredhaan suami.

"andainya aku boleh memerintahkan seseorang untuk sujud kepada orang lain, niscaya aku perintahkan seorang isteri untuk sujud kepada suaminya" (HR Ahmad)

Best Bet For Our Money

once i was approached by somebody promoting insurance policy. what attracts me was "if you buy this policy, even if you have a small cut on your finger, you'll be protected. and if you cant afford to pay the full premium, you can choose half or a quarter" i just said "thanks, i dont think i need".

no offense to any insurance agent, but i just took him as a marketer, and as advised by Seth Gordon 'all marketers are liars'.
1. do you go to clinic for a small cut on your finger? to me a handiplast will do.
2. you pay half, and you expect full coverage? silap2 after i discharge from hospital or even after my death pun i have to pay the hutang for medical.

new to the field of working, we dont have much money. our salary is just enough to make ends meet. thus, we have to be smart enough in saving money.
1. saving for emergency.
2. saving for future use.
3. saving for our children.
4. saving for medical purposes.
5. saving for retirement.

i knew that we have to be smart in spending and saving our many because:
1. we are just working.
that makes our salaries are no that big. and we are not working with an organization that pays us RM5k per month :P
2. we just started a family, and it's keep on growing.
so many things to be expect when you have a growing family.
4. we have many things to do, and many unexpected things to expect.
we just started our life, and in this turbulence world, we can't predict what will happen. even the oil price is getting lower and over although OPEC announced that they'll cut the production (will they really cut it??? will they???).
5. we started our life with RM0.00, with no 'allowance' from our parents.

we forecast that those reasons will probably cause us:
1. have to pay for something in big amount, and we need the money urgently.
2. get opportunity to buy a nice house/car with cheaper than market price, but need a huge downpayment.
3. in our sisters/brothers need money in huge amount and seek for our help.
4. aob.

so we have to be smart in spending, as well as saving. (in our current situation) we don't have to live in frugality, but just always pay for what we need, occasionally pay for what we want, and try to avoid to pay for lavish things.

in term of saving, the 'safe' methods we play:
1. save in a safe place.
2. save in a place with no ATM.
3. save in a place which give you some returns.
4. save in a place which not cause you to lose your capitals.
5. save in a place where you can withdraw your money anytime you need.

why a word 'return' there? because we have to play with inflation and credit depression. what can you buy with RM50 today? and 10 years back, what can your buy with that amount? day by day, our money loss its value, and average Malaysian inflation rate is about 4% per year. in 30 years, RM1000,000 will valued like RM60,000 today. how many losses we have to face if we ignore the depreciation factor? and there's many instruments don't cover inflation such as saving account, fix deposit, insurance endowment, and even gold.

that's why before deciding to 'put money somewhere', or to invest, knowledge about personal finance is very significant.

Got Milk During Pregnancy

Being pregnant makes a significant hormonal change in a woman.

- HCG hormone boosts up during the early weeks and decline as the placenta properly functions (from there you can get the second line in UPT kit).
- estrogen and progesterone level incline throughout the pregnancy.
- high estrogen level drives prolactin to works for the preparation to breastfeed. some moms-2-b find out their breast are already 'leak'.

some common FAQ about milking during pregnancy:
1. Is it normal? YES.
2. does it mean that i will have enough milk for my baby? ABSOLUTELY YES.
3. my milk still doesn't come but i am 9 month already. can i breastfeed? ABSOLUTELY YES!!
4. i dont have milk when i pregnant. that makes i'm unsure about breastfeeding. MILK OR NO MILK DURING PREGNANCY IS VERY INSIGNIFICANT TO DETERMINE WEATHER U CAN BF OR NOT.

during pregnancy (see the point above), 'milk factory' drove by estrogen. either it is leak or not, as long as the mother has breasts and all breast tissues those involve in breastfeeding, the factory is already working!

after the baby delivery, as soon as the placenta get off, estrogen and progesterone level decline to the normal level. this time, prolactin and milk factory works without push factor from estrogen anymore, but the baby's demand. that's why breast and nipple stimulation from baby's sucking is vital for milk development, wether the mother had 'milk leakage' or not.

milk during pregnancy and after delivery are slightly different (different causes, different factors, different drivers..). all healthy mothers (no problem with health, hormone, anatomy, etc) are able to breastfeed regardless what happen during pregnancy. most mothers have their breast 'empty' for the first few days after delivery, but as that is what has been 'wrote' by Allah SWT, the condition won't make any baby die of starving, as the little drop of colostrum will be enough to fill that little stomach.

Happy Breastfeeding!

What's His Learning Style?

i always like to have a glance on other moms' styles of teaching, on how do they teach and what do they teach their children at home. as nowadays most of us are FTWM (full time working moms), but those who still able to provide their kids with some lesson sessions at home, either on academic or non-academic, are really really marvellous.

Abiy and i like to discuss about children's schooling (even if still long way to go). of course we want to send our kids to the best school, even for kindergarten. but, what make me worry about schooling is, two things; 1) the curriculum 2) the school kids' behavior. for no 1),sending our kids to school meaning we have to follow what the school curriculum says. have you ever see a 2nd grader pupil who's not able to read? to me he's not a dumb, 'lemah', slow, etc. but the one-size-fits-all school curriculum doesn't match his learning style.

and no 2), i still remember during my kindy time. i home, my mom didn't allow any dirty word, including calling 'aku' (i) and 'mu' (you) [even if they're not dirty words] when talking to others,especially my sister. so we are called by our name, and talk to our friends using 'saya' and 'awak'. but, during schooling, i learned sooo many dirty-words, mostly from my classmates. and i started to called my sister "b*ruk" everytime we had fight. and from friends, i knew about male-female intercourse (even if not sure about the purpose).

should i put an expectation, i send my child to kindy and when he comes back, he'll call his brother "b*ruk?" and show a report card written 'too playful & don't concentrate in class'.

however, we have no other choice than sending everyone of them to the public schools. so i told Abiy that we should not rely to any school to provide our children true education. they might learn Maths, Science, History, etc. in school, but the true education for me is the ethic they show in their daily life. what is the value of a 'Math guru' but doesn't know how to interact with others? i know that education ministry is doing their best to provide the best education for every Malaysians kid, but as i come from that 'field' as well, all that i learnt in school was for exam's sake.

and what's happening in public schools make me scare! put aside the bully and play truant case cos they're not new. look at free sex, gangs, etc.. oh my.. are those the youngsters who are gonna take care of the future of my country???

but since Hafiy is still too young, we reserve the case. who know later Malaysian kids changes to be more well-mannered.

for now we're observing his learning styles. i found out that Hafiy learns fast via observation. he's also an independent learner, and never allow us to 'teach' him how to do this and that. long ago, i taught him how to use spoon to feed himself, but he seemed like not interested, and he didn't like to feed himself. so i just let him be, even if i felt a bit disappointing because most babies at his age could feed themselves. but now i am witnessing he's eating by himself, using spoon or his hands. and he's even get angry if i try to 'teach' him, seems like saying "i know how to do it, Mommy. you don't have to demostrate it many times".

kids learn in different ways, and from Hafiy i learned that pushing them too hard is just not smart enough. and it is beneficial if we learn their learning style. as everyone has different learning styles, and it is actually mix up of 7 styles, and with different concentration in each. generally, from studies, human learning styles are, visual-spatial, auditory-musical, linguistic, physical-kinesthetic, logical-mathematical, interpersonal and intrapersonal.

conservative teaching method usually use liguistic and logical. that's might be the answer for why a second grader still can't read. because in school we are taught by reading, repetition and exam to grade us! (with co-cu classes, students have chances to practice their preference, but how many students are actually go to co-cu classes?).

i really envy to those moms who have time to teach their kids at home (SAHMs, perhaps?) because i presume that they have ample time to learn about their kids, and match it with the most suitable method that their kids are into.

some kids might be just OK with linguistic approach, but some might just restless and can't stay put to focus on what they are doing. some might want to use their physical and sense of touch to learn about something. and some kids might learn better in solitary rather than in a group. who will have time to figure out this, if not the parents?

thank you Hafiy for making me realise that there is no one-size-fits-all. as he grew up, he can't spend time on books or flashcards or even toys. he's just so restless. at first i thought he has problem to focus. and that gave me some feeling of dissappointing, because i can't handle my own child while others are enjoy with their learning session at home. but later then i learned that it is just his style. and he's just a baby summore, he has lots of curiousity about everything. i let him learn in his own way, by constantly showing the right things. and i am so proud when he knows to eat by himself, knows his shirt, tidy up his toys, wipes his mouth and face and so on. he might a bit late than others, but i never mind about it. after all, everything is just theory, and it is still fall in the parent's gut about what's the best for the children.

i hope i have time to observe more on my kids behaviour and find the best way to give them courage to boost up their potential, rather than looking at other moms and other kids methods and styles, and feel disappointed because i failed to do what they do and my children are not as smart as other kids. it's not their fault but could be my incorrect approach in guiding them.