Preschool Activity Ideas

One of the better approaches, when trying to think of preschool activities or preschool lessons for you and your child to do for home school activities, is that you dont get bogged down trying to be too structured. There is plenty of fun, educational, and informal preschool activities that you and your child can get involved in.

 

The top of the list when it comes to preschool activities and child learning would be reading. Getting the child involved early in learning to read, establishes good reading habits and a foundation that the child can learn from for a lifetime.

 

Learning to read for the child certainly doesnt have to limited to books. You should also include poetry, songs (while singing together); reading the boxes of their favorite toys, or anything that they are drawn to could be included in their homeschool preschool activities. Just be creative.

 

Preschool age is a wonderful learning time for the child. They are naturally full of wonderment and curiosity at the preschool age. Take advantage of this trait. Use everyday tasks around the house for learning activities. Sorting clothes by color for laundry, dishes by color or size, if you are doing some organizing around the house, use this opportunity to relate different shapes and sizes to your preschooler. When youre out and about in the world, always use this time as an educational moment. All the shapes sizes and colors you come across just at the grocery store alone make for a wonderful preschool activity. Its homeschooling and youre not in your home!

 

If, you run across a question you are unable to answer, dont just say that you arent sure or that you dont know and leave it at that. Take the opportunity to begin to instill another great learning skill into your child. That of looking something up for an answer to which you dont know. Even though the child cant search for the answer yet, they can, witness and be a part of this valuable information seeking procedure. I cant tell you what a valuable skill you will be instilling into your preschooler if you help them in developing this type of problem solving skill and attitude if you incorporate this into their daily preschool activities.

 

Preschool activities are limited only by your imagination.....child education is a wonderful experience, just relax, be informal, be creative.

 

Learning activities are indeed everywhere.

 

Author: Mary Joyce
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Canada duty

How to Nurture Your Kids With Islamic Education

in child development, Muslim scholars and Western scholars agreed that the period of 0-6YO is the most critical time in developing a child's brain. during Abasiyah age, a child at that age (preschool) was equipped with Islamic practical life lesson before they moved to Islamic knowledge i.e. al-Quran, hadis, feqah etc. in primary school and later to knowledge in other fields i.e Math, Science, Astronomy, Geography, etc. during secondary. what matter most is what he got at his below 6YO that will determine his manner toward the future.

child education in Islam is not to depend on any institution to provide such skills and knowledge. even homeschooling is not a new thing in a true Islamic culture. even Rasulullah himself was homeschooled by Halimatus Saadiah during his early years.and the famous tagline of 'al-ummu al-madrasah' (a mother is a school) could be a strong evident that Islam encourage home education.

being a full time working mom (FTWM) should not be an excuse to not able to provide a good school for our kids.

a great school of a FTWM:

1. through role modelling
it's a fitrah for a lil kid to copy what he sees from his surroundings (remember the story of a boy slaughtered his brother after seeing his father slaughtered a sheep? and the mother lost all her 3 sons in the tragedy). and dont expect to teach the kid to say doa if we ourselves just doing it for the sake of teaching him but when away from him we never care.
- perform our daily ibadah as sincere as possible and involve our kids.
- take care of our hyegiene, health, look so that we are always in a good state.
- dont show our anger toward other people in front of them.
- dont break our promises.
- avoid talking about other people (mengumpat) when they're with us.[patotnye jgn ngumpat langsung].
- dont say bad things about their father at his back.
- etc.

2. practising them
children love to learn but in our culture, we usually take 0-4 or 5 YO as 'tak tau apa & masa untuk main'. we are retarding their brain potential in any ways! non-mumayiz kids really 'tak tau apa' but at this stage, they are absorbing all the things. this supports Abdullah Ulwan's theory of 'what determines future characteristic of a child is what he sees and experiences before he turns 7'.
- wash them as soon as they finished their 'big project', wash their hands before meal, bathe them, clean them, brush their teeth,etc. as early lesson to toharah.
- bring them together during solat, say doa everytime they want to start someting, bring him to crowd, etc. as early lesson to ibadah.
- wash their hands, faces and feet before bringing them to solat, after waking up and before go to sleep, as early lesson to wuduk.
- give them toys and book as early lesson to ilm.
- bring them out as early lesson to socialization, humanity, and other values.
- etc.

3. through advice and conversation
the famous Lukman al-Hakim used this approach to educate his son (in Surah Lukman). he conveyed the message to his son through his talk. for little kids, keep saying it to them will result an echo effect that makes them remember it.
- don't take conversation with little children for granted.
- always saying good words, praise, word of encouragement, etc.
- make family discussion a routine.
- go out & about and utilize the time to have good conversation with the children.

4. through daily routine & activities
Islam suggests us to spend good and quality time with our children. even staying at home to be with our children is better than iktikaf alone in the masjid. during Abasiyah age, kids were brought to masjid together with their parents.
- involve kids in housechores such as cooking, doing laundry, house tidying, etc. if possible dont shoo them away from kitchen cos there's lots of things to learn.
- dont associate our life with karut things i.e. ghost, spirit, & other things those bring us close to syirk.
- take them together to classes we follow.
- do exercise together.
- make sedekah a family routine by encouraging them to put money into tabung masjid etc.
- etc.

and as we all know, child education should start before they are born through:
- take care of our health along the pregnancy journey.
- eat good food, in term of nutrition & sources (halal).
- think positive.
- plan for the unborn child's future, for his education, welfare etc.
- etc.
and after they are born through:
- say azan & iqamah to their ears.
- give them good names.
- breastfeed them for at least 2 years.
- perform akikah for them.

Islamic practice is nothing more than common senses. we dont have to get a degree from al-Azhar to be a good Muslim. Western & Eastern theory of child education and early learning is parallel to what Islam says about it. & following whatever theories is actually practising Islamic way, because what in those theories had been practised by our Islamic scholars' parents during the time of Islamic civilazation glittering.

if we knew about al-Razi, al-Biruni, al-Kindi, Umar Khayyam, Al- Khawarizmi, Ibnu Sina, etc., they were not only mastered in their field such as medic, math, botany, astronomy, etc. but also in other curriculum like philosophy, music, art, literacy and so on. how could they be such that great?

Is Interactive-Educational Toys Worth?

personally, i dunno. but i 'think' it is subject to how (style) a parent grow the babies up. however, we are among the group who believe that 'in today's life, all unneccessary becomes neccessary cos your neighbours say so'. does it make sense?

world economic depends on consumerisme. when the purchasing power decreases, concurrently it will paralyse the stores, and manufactures. these businessmen, as smart as they can be, will do anything to get the purchasing power grows.

they knew that parents will do anything to the kids, so they use this as a strong weapon to make people think that they're doing an 'investment' by buying any so-called educational, development, interactive (whatever the names are) stuffs to their children. they're actually using our kids to dig our pockets.

to the extent that, there are mothers who think "poor my baby... he may not developes like other babies cos i can't afford those expensive educational toys".

to me (cos i can't afford too), toy is toy. anything can be toy, if we make it a toy. we have lots of things to play with, at home, and they'll never stop our children to be creative. don't feel sorry for not able to have a playground at home, cos our home is a big playground.

yes, educational toy maybe helps to boost lil' kids' skills, intelligent, etc. but if we have not enough resources (money, etc.), don't buy what the advert/others say. better put the extra money in the children's future education fund. for the time being, choose the simple rule of:

1. Parents
2. Children
3. Time
4. Love

remember that now the marketers are bringing up the unessential to be essential, then it will look so essential.

What's His Learning Style?

i always like to have a glance on other moms' styles of teaching, on how do they teach and what do they teach their children at home. as nowadays most of us are FTWM (full time working moms), but those who still able to provide their kids with some lesson sessions at home, either on academic or non-academic, are really really marvellous.

Abiy and i like to discuss about children's schooling (even if still long way to go). of course we want to send our kids to the best school, even for kindergarten. but, what make me worry about schooling is, two things; 1) the curriculum 2) the school kids' behavior. for no 1),sending our kids to school meaning we have to follow what the school curriculum says. have you ever see a 2nd grader pupil who's not able to read? to me he's not a dumb, 'lemah', slow, etc. but the one-size-fits-all school curriculum doesn't match his learning style.

and no 2), i still remember during my kindy time. i home, my mom didn't allow any dirty word, including calling 'aku' (i) and 'mu' (you) [even if they're not dirty words] when talking to others,especially my sister. so we are called by our name, and talk to our friends using 'saya' and 'awak'. but, during schooling, i learned sooo many dirty-words, mostly from my classmates. and i started to called my sister "b*ruk" everytime we had fight. and from friends, i knew about male-female intercourse (even if not sure about the purpose).

should i put an expectation, i send my child to kindy and when he comes back, he'll call his brother "b*ruk?" and show a report card written 'too playful & don't concentrate in class'.

however, we have no other choice than sending everyone of them to the public schools. so i told Abiy that we should not rely to any school to provide our children true education. they might learn Maths, Science, History, etc. in school, but the true education for me is the ethic they show in their daily life. what is the value of a 'Math guru' but doesn't know how to interact with others? i know that education ministry is doing their best to provide the best education for every Malaysians kid, but as i come from that 'field' as well, all that i learnt in school was for exam's sake.

and what's happening in public schools make me scare! put aside the bully and play truant case cos they're not new. look at free sex, gangs, etc.. oh my.. are those the youngsters who are gonna take care of the future of my country???

but since Hafiy is still too young, we reserve the case. who know later Malaysian kids changes to be more well-mannered.

for now we're observing his learning styles. i found out that Hafiy learns fast via observation. he's also an independent learner, and never allow us to 'teach' him how to do this and that. long ago, i taught him how to use spoon to feed himself, but he seemed like not interested, and he didn't like to feed himself. so i just let him be, even if i felt a bit disappointing because most babies at his age could feed themselves. but now i am witnessing he's eating by himself, using spoon or his hands. and he's even get angry if i try to 'teach' him, seems like saying "i know how to do it, Mommy. you don't have to demostrate it many times".

kids learn in different ways, and from Hafiy i learned that pushing them too hard is just not smart enough. and it is beneficial if we learn their learning style. as everyone has different learning styles, and it is actually mix up of 7 styles, and with different concentration in each. generally, from studies, human learning styles are, visual-spatial, auditory-musical, linguistic, physical-kinesthetic, logical-mathematical, interpersonal and intrapersonal.

conservative teaching method usually use liguistic and logical. that's might be the answer for why a second grader still can't read. because in school we are taught by reading, repetition and exam to grade us! (with co-cu classes, students have chances to practice their preference, but how many students are actually go to co-cu classes?).

i really envy to those moms who have time to teach their kids at home (SAHMs, perhaps?) because i presume that they have ample time to learn about their kids, and match it with the most suitable method that their kids are into.

some kids might be just OK with linguistic approach, but some might just restless and can't stay put to focus on what they are doing. some might want to use their physical and sense of touch to learn about something. and some kids might learn better in solitary rather than in a group. who will have time to figure out this, if not the parents?

thank you Hafiy for making me realise that there is no one-size-fits-all. as he grew up, he can't spend time on books or flashcards or even toys. he's just so restless. at first i thought he has problem to focus. and that gave me some feeling of dissappointing, because i can't handle my own child while others are enjoy with their learning session at home. but later then i learned that it is just his style. and he's just a baby summore, he has lots of curiousity about everything. i let him learn in his own way, by constantly showing the right things. and i am so proud when he knows to eat by himself, knows his shirt, tidy up his toys, wipes his mouth and face and so on. he might a bit late than others, but i never mind about it. after all, everything is just theory, and it is still fall in the parent's gut about what's the best for the children.

i hope i have time to observe more on my kids behaviour and find the best way to give them courage to boost up their potential, rather than looking at other moms and other kids methods and styles, and feel disappointed because i failed to do what they do and my children are not as smart as other kids. it's not their fault but could be my incorrect approach in guiding them.

Our Financial Plan

as for us,

bank saving accounts - for routine ins and outs money
unit trust - for medium to long term saving
insurance - for protection
others - for other reasons

for Hafiy and Adik, we don't go for saving accounts (most banks has kids' saving accounts) because of the above concepts. Hafiy and Adik won't able to withdraw money (even if both of you can but we won't allow it before you are 18) so there is no use for such account. futhermore, returns from saving account is only from 1.8-3% per annum.

we don't open insurance account for both Hafiy, adik dan the 3 following fellas, because:
- insurance is NOT an investment, it is for protection (even tho it is investment link, only half of the money invested in unit trust).
- we don't need medical insurance bcos medical expenses for 5 children will be taken care by our company.(*the 6th and rest will get this i guess.. 6th???)
- little kids don't have dependants for life insurans. (buy it yourselflah later, after you get married & have kids)
- education insurans gives smaller return than unit trust.

insurans, for us, on the other hand is a 'force-saving'. for those who are 'hard to save money' or 'hard to pay for themselves', insurans is a good instrument. this is because they have to commit the payment everymonth. for people who love to save money, i think other instrument gives better return. if you can save at a better place for a better return, why not?

in Malaysia, generally we have 2 types of unit trust (amanah saham):
1) the one managed by PNB.
2) private unit trusts managed by unit trust companies like Public Mutual, CIMB Mutual, MAAKL, etc.

rule of thumb in unit trust investment (in other investment tho), the higher the risk, the higher the return. the highest unit trust fund is those invested (by the fund managers) directly in stock market such as index fund, equity fund, etc. during bear market (like what we are facing now) most (even all) equity funds go down. the safest (bear in mind that every investment has its own risks) are funds like bond and money market. but to respect the rule of thumb, those funds give low return.

for Hafiy and Adik, we opt for PNB's unit trust (ASNB) because it just meant for saving and we don't bear the risk of ups and down of stock market. plus, the price for ASW2020 is fixed RM1 for buying and selling, and no service charge. then, we have nothing to lose if we retrieve the saving before 2nd or 3rd years, or even tomorrow. it's return totally depend on divident and bonus, but at least we don't lose the initial investment if we want to retrieve it in short time.

it's different with private unit trust's equity funds. it should not be put as 'save today to retrieve tomorrow', unless you are interested in trading. this kind of fund, suitable for long term, say 15-25 years if not for trading. involving in this kind of funds, either for trading or long term, needs self knowledge rather than depending 100% on the agents. the best funds are managed by the best unit trust company, not only will give higher return, but also it won't go bangkrupt (it is another risk of funding with private unit trust).

where to invest?

saving/investment instrument won't be the same for unique individuals. thus, ones should know themselves before deciding to put the money on which basket.

that's the answer for why we don't invest in real estate/property. with our current salary, we are not ready to commit in property investment (not REITs), plus our limited knowledge, it will put us in high liability than collecting assets.

just wanna share what happened is US recently. since July, housing price in US declined to almost 20%, and now, US in undoubtly in recession. the speculation made the price (house and other buildings) goes up, and people keep on 'trading' housings and at a stage where the price came to 'unreasonable', the 'trading' cut down, the owner wasn't able to pay the mortgage, and banks lose their money.

thus, many US banks were closed. and this gives domino effect to all economic aspects. when people are unemployed, the buying power is less, consumer industry losses customers, supply is more than demand, people worry and sell their shares, stock market falls etc (just a brief review). as an economic taiko, US recession more or less give a pinch to other countries especially China and India, those are actively doing trading with US. to Malaysia? i don't know but the stock market now is giving discount to the investors!

what i wanna say is, when people keep on telling 'housing price won't go down', i beg to differ. property market is just like other market, it has its cycle, just maybe the circle is big, so the effect is not as significant as other market i.e. stock market, and it takes longer time. for people who 'beli tanah hutan 10tahun dulu 5ribu seekar sekarang this and that beli 50ribu seekar', is not an investment but gambling. investing is strategise, planned, has objective.. how the person knew 10 years back that certain people would buy the land with that price? we can keep on hoping but what is the basis? investment has its basis.

thus, a person with income rm1800 should has different objective and different instrument than another person with rm3000 and rm50k per month. the financial knowledge should be learnt by everyone who like to multiple their money rather than earn and keep (bawah bantal pun boleh). bear in mind that we have to deal with inflation and recession.

now that oil price goes down to more than 50% (this will trigger questions like "why the fuel price still high?" :D it's another long story). we know that Malaysia depends on oil & gas industry for more than 40% of its national income. when the oil price goes down... you know what does it mean..

look like i started to merapu bukan2 :P.

what i wanna tell you, Hafiy & Adik, use your money wisely. pay yourself first before you pay the supermarket tokeis. don't say money isn't everything, without money you won't able to eat, or even go to school.

wake up that in future we don't know what will happen. will our future generation get scholarship? will we be living for them then? thus, the preparation is a vital, start saving from now, especially for kids' education.

summary

return & risk:
saving account - 2-3% p.a. low risk (bank ada PIDM).
unit trust - medium return, varies from 5%-30% depending on funds types with medium risk.
insurance - low return but good for protection i.e. accident.
stock market - high return. can get 200%. but high risk, can bangkupt as well :D
properties - high return especially during boom market, but slow. low risk.

initial:
saving account - 100? 300? depend on bank and type of account.
unit trust - private from 500-1000. ASNB from 100.
stock market - tak malu kat remisier ke kalo beli sikit2? koman2 mau 2-3k above huhu.
properties - kena tanya bank berapa dia bagi pinjam.

our manner:
saving account - save whenever you like & sleep.
unit trust - save whenever you like & sleep. but if doing trading have to watch the market out.
insurance - save monthly and sleep. wait until something happen or its maturity.
stock market - buy and ready to get heart attack!

as i said, we have to be realistic and be in our own shoes. like us, we don't need medical insurance, so why pay? and for our kids who has no dependants, they don't need life insurance.

bear in mind that those things above are only tools, and it's not restricted to one-for-all. anyway, the choice is on us, whether we want to focus on our current needs or want to focus on our future needs. to me, knowledge in personal finance is good, at least minimum knowledge about 'WHERE SHOULD I PUT MY MONEY?'. unit trust agents, insurance agents, this and that agents will say anything to make you buy their policies, but how do you know it fits you? remember that we don't need all others need. if you need rice once a day, i might need more! so, seek for that knowledge before we accidentally buy this and that, than later we knew we don't need it, but have to commit with it!

check your needs and start saving now!

***
Abu Hurairah, r.a., reported "Rasulullah had said: richness does not lie in the abundance of worldly wealth but richness is the richness of the soul (heart, self).

"hai orang beriman! Janganlah kamu saling memakan harta sesamamu dengan jalan yang batil, kecuali dengan jalan perniagaan yang berlaku dengan suka sama suka di antara kamu. dan janglah kamu membunuh dirimu, sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha Penyayang kepadamu" (4:29).

Separation Anxiety

Hafiy developed separation anxiety since dia 'kenal orang'. normally babies dalam around 7-18 months will have this. mereka cuma nak dengan orang yang biasa je, especially mak nye lah. biasalah, mana2 baby yang normal pun Mami rasa ada mengalami benda ni. (maybe ada la baby yg jenis selamba je, tak kisah pun sapa2 ambil, itu pun normal juga).

separation anxiety yg dialami Hafiy (sejak2 datang KL) memang dalam kategori kronik juga la. selain Abiy, Mami & Bibik, orang lain tolong jangan pandai2 nak ambil, nanti dia menjerit kuat2. Bibik pun kalau Mami ada, tak laku jugak. & sekarang dah pandai hempas2 badan atas dokong orang. last weekend kita balik Jerantut, semua orang excited nak pegang Hafiy, but sorry! Mami ingatkan boleh la Mami rehat2 sikit, since ramai orang boleh tolong jaga Hafiy tapi semua Hafiy taknak :) bertuah sungguh budak hensem ni.

however, i believe that, nothing i've done has made Hafiy undergoes this anxiety. it's not my fault spoiling him. mothers with separation anxiety babies, don't worry, it's perfectly normal.

it indicates that our babies are:-
- have a loving attachment to us, the mothers/fathers.
- know that we give them the safest place to holding on. isn't it sweet?
- smart! they know what are their needs and what are the effects if their need are not fulfilled.
- developing intellectuality. they know the secured place and avois strangers.

luckily, our family are well.. very sporting & takdela nak cakap benda bukan2 on Hafiy. cuma derang terkilan cos tak dapat main2 dengan Hafiy, dokong2 Hafiy, etc/ pasal Hafiy akan jerit, hempas2 badan, bila derang nak ambil. alhamdulillah... dulu2 ada jugak yang cakap "tu la asik ajar dokong je dia, sampai dah tak boleh letak bawah". haa.. cuba la amik kejap, memang surrender la sapa2 yang cakap macam tu. hehe. last2 mengaku jugak memang kegemaran Hafiy macam tu.

dealing with families/friends/anyone who likes to complaint about our separation anxiety babies:
- works for me satu cara je. RAIKAN SAJALAH & kalo taknak dengar, PEKAKKAN TELINGA :)
orang akan komplen saja apa benda yg tak ada kaitan dengan hidup dia. anak kita separation anxiety pun orang komplen, "mak tak bole nak buat kerja kalau anak clingy macam ni", etc. kalau anak takde separation anxiety pun orang komplen juga "budak mudah sangat ikut orang, silap haribulan kena culik takde orang perasan", etc. :) apa2 pun as parents, doakan yang terbaik untuk mereka & accept our children for who they are.

be contented with separation anxiety babies:
- let them be themselves. they are babies. be happy and proud for having them. out there, so many parents even trying for years to have one.
- it's wonderful having a child who loves to be with us all the time.it tells that the bond we worked all this while is created, and even so strong.
- it's not spoiling them bila kita terlalu 'love' diorang macam tu. in fact with the attachment, they'll grow up more confident and secure.
- allow them to the 'separation' they initiate. kalo derang main sorang2, don't interrupt & if they go to another space, don't rush to follow. just give them a peep to ensure they're safe.
- don't push. this is a normal milestone, and they'll move to the next milestone sooner.
- don't hilang tiba2. this will cause them constant worry if we hilang tiba2. they'll be clingier and diminish their trust.
- be positive when leaving them. when off to work, don't be nervous and anxious cos these will make them feel the same! leave them with smile and little note "nanti petang Mami balik kita main lagi yerrr.. mwah!"
- offer distraction when leaving them with someone else. give them toys or books to play with, and say quick goodbye. make the stay fun for them.
- practise quick & safe separation. example, if we go to bathroom, make sound so that they know we're not leaving them. i play peek-a-boo!
- IGNORE what if people say negative thing about our babies. or, print an article about separation anxiety and ask them to read. just ask Profesor Google, only by typing 'separation anxiety' :)

when i said, parenting, breastfeeding... are among the things we ought to learn, by reading or from any other resource, ramai yang tak setuju, cos they said those things are natural and it will come naturally. but i still love to read and learn, even if they are natural, cos there are lots of things i do not know, and i won't know they are normal if just by try and error or look and feel.

well,we have our own way and style, right?

Let Kids Be Kids

i cannot stand (kecik hatiku) with statement like these...

"kenapa anak kau ni 'buas' sangat? anak aku 5 orang semuanya OK je duduk diam2 time kita solat. baik je diorang sume macam faham je kita mengadap Tuhan, tak ada nak melalak2 ke apa"
"anak i pandai duduk diam masa i solat, xde pun nak nangis2 or kene dokong2, etc. macam anak u tu. pandai dia hormat orang solat"
"buasnye budak ni... tekejut tengok, anak2 aku semuanya pandai behave depan orang"

* i suggest that those who like to throw such that statement, please go to any parenting class, or get yourself some books about parenting and baby. or yg utama bacalah Quran banyak2 sekali dengan tafsir dia serta bacalah kisah hidup Rasulullah dan para sahabat. those statements (and any yg seumpama dengannya) to me convey the hidden message of 'anak aku ni dirahmati dan diberkati Allah. kecik2 dah pandai hormat orang/Tuhan/apa saja. anak kau tak diberkati, maybe sebab kau tak pandai didik anak or kau byk buat dosa or Allah sayang anak aku lebih, etc lah'.

why dont these guys understand that, kids are kids, they are not 'a little adult'. they are clean and clear, pure, white, innocent. they don't carry anybody's sin. and on top of anything, all kids are unique, they learn things in their own way!

dont have to read English's parenting books, or go to any classes. knowing about our Prophet Muhammad SAW's life is more than enough. why does he LOVE kids? and why does he will give syafaat to whoever loves kids? did he mention about good kids and bad kids?

if we read about a story about Hassan & Hussin, Rasululullah's grandson, how he adores them and play with them, sampaikan Hassan & Hussin panjat belakang Baginda main kuda-kuda pun Rasulullah never ever marah2, malah Baginda melamakan sujud until the boys left his back. smapaikan para sahabat berasa hairan & thought that it was a new command to lengthen the sujud. after the solat, they asked Rasulullah about the long sujud. Rasulullah jawab "cucuku memanjat belakangku, dan aku mahu memuaskan hatinya. maka aku hanya bangun dari sujud apabila dia telah puas hati".
(are Hassan & Hussin comparable to your kids?)

let them be kids. even Rasulullah carries his grandson during solat. who are our kids to those kids? what is the special with our kids until they should not have playtime?

we parent our kids, but remember that we are not the only parents, and not only us do the parenting job. please don't 'perkecil2kan' other parents just because your kids are well-mannered than the other kids. as long as they're still kids, let them be kids. they should learn new things in their own, fun ways, under our full guidance and unconditional love. what matter is, how we show and guide them. if the good manners come by chance, it should not be something to be proud of :)

and please be thankful if you have well-mannered kids, and a 'buas' child is not abnormal, as long as he is not diagnosed with hyperactivity or anything relates to it. & my boy is still a baby OK!

*seperti melepas geram pulak.

Aznil

I.
Mami : siapa nama Hafiy Al-Fateh angkat tangan! SAYA!
Hafiy : (angkat tangan sambil goyang2 ala-ala Macam-Macam Aznil)

II.
Abiy : bye bye Hafiy~
Hafiy : (lambai tangan gaya Macam-Macam Aznil)

III.
Bibik : Hafiy ni suka joget goyang2 macam Ajenil

IV.
Astro Prima : Macam-Macam.... Aznil!
Astro Ceria : Tom Tom Bak!
Hafiy : (menonton dgn kusyuk semasa Aznil Nawawi muncul tp restless bila dia tak ada)

*adegan2 di atas tidak dapat dirakam kerana Hafiy enggan memberi kerjasama bila nampak kamera. dia nak pegang kamera tu!

lately Mami telah outsource kan tugas2 melayan Hafiy kepada Aznil Nawawi. ada je cd yg Mami burn tp Mami tak larat nakgi pasang (Nota Hafiy: alasan je tu.. sbrnya Mami yg nak tengok Aznil..). dengan Aznil ni Hafiy dah tak merayap-rayap dah. mujurla Tom Tom Bak dengan Macam-Macam Aznil ada marathon malam2. hm,memang aura betul la Aznil dengan budak2. kusyuk je dia tengok Aznil.

kira OK la... asalkan Hafiy bole duk diam-diam kat situ sudahlah. kalau tak asik nak merayap je, penat tau Mami nak kutip. dah yang sedia penat dah ni. huhuhu~ tak apelah. at least show Aznil tak ada adegan melampaui batasan dan cakap pun tak ada guna dirty words. & Mami pun watch sama Hafiy (sambil tido kadang2). lagipun time ni je Hafiy bole tengok Aznil. nanti kat rumah Tok Pa kene tengok Bloomberg. hehe.

MORAL: pengaruh TV memang kuat walaupun terhadap budak sekecik biji kacang. kawal lah frekuensi dan amplitud tontonan TV terhadap anak anda.

tips to control what TV takes with our children:

1. make specific rules about watching TV. (for younger kids is to be obeyed by parents) e.g. : no TV while having meal, no TV during family discussion, etc.

2. don't just 'watch TV', but allow ourselves to watch particular, 'approved' program, not just 'watch TV'. e.g. watching news, watching TTB, etc.

3. no channel surfing. sometimes when we surf, it will stop at inappropriate scene, e.g. violent, etc.

4. watch together with our children. we can talk with them about what is going on in the show. especially when watching movies.

5. NEVER use TV as babysitter. don't calm our little kids on TV. make this rule clear to the babysitter, "DONT LET MY BABY WATCH TV WHILE YOU'RE DOING YOUR WORKS". our Bibik, watches TV while lullabying Hafiy.

6. one is better than two. one TV placed in the living room will help us keep an eye on what is being watched.

7. talking to our children about the programs they watched or watched together with them will give us opportunities to debrief them about the rights and wrongs in them.

8. manage time properly, so that wont have to 'spend' time watching TV cos have nothing to do..

9. dont make TV a centre of our family life! how to avoid TV dominating:
- put TV off during mealtime.
- make conversation a priority in our family.
- don't use TV as a reward or punishment. no "you can watch TV the whole weekend if you do this and that" or "you can't watch TV for a week if you do this and that".
- encourage other recreational activities. don't be a slacker by watch too much TV during free time.
- find alternative to watching television.
- don't place TV in kids' bedroom.

REMEMBER!

“Children of all ages are constantly learning new things. The first 2 years of life are especially important in the growth and development of your child's brain. During this time, children need good, positive interaction with other children and adults. Too much television can negatively affect early brain development. This is especially true at younger ages, when learning to talk and play with others is so important.

“Until more research is done about the effects of TV on very young children, the AmericanAcademy of Pediatrics (AAP) does not recommend television for children age 2 or younger.”

and the bottom line is...
CHILDREN FOLLOW US! (this explains a lot why Hafiy loves Aznil Nawawi that much.. kene cut ni!)

Bad Mommy Day

lately Mami dah kurang bagi perhatian pada Hafiy. sedihnya.. (hehehe) even weekend pun Mami spend time tidooo sepanjang hari, especially hari2 Mami berpuasa memang tak larat sangat. sampai Abi komen Hafiy asyik dengan Bibik aje. mandi dengan Bibik, makan dengan Bibik, main dengan Bibik.... oh Mami sangat2 tidak larat. sorry yer sayang...

bila main dengan Bibik, Bibik kata Hafiy suka jerit2 marah kalo Bibik usik barang Hafiy, buat2 nak makan makanan Hafiy... oh Hafiy dah makan banyak sekarang. hari2 makan nasik dah. kadang2 Mami masak spageti untuk Hafiy. Hafiy sangat suka! Bibik la excited nak menggemukkan Hafiy. maklumlah berat tak naik-naik. tp Mami tak kisah je, asalkan sihat dan ceria sudah.

disebabkan Mami tak larat nak melayan dan hari2 terjelepok je, tak dapat lah nak bersama2 'menyambung sel otak' Hafiy. sambil BF pun Mami tido, tak larat sesangat. tp untuk terus menggalakkan Hafiy terus suka buku (Bibik kata Hafiy kalau main mainan, cepat je boring. kalau pegang buku baru lama sikit belek2), Mami lambakkan buku kat atas katil. pagi2 Hafiy bangun, boleh pegi belek buku. untuk mengelakkan buku itu dikoyak dan menjadi chewing gum, Mami bagi buku jenis yang wipe off tu. keras tapi tak macam board book. kira OKlah Hafiy tak boleh koyak2 dan chew. buku2 kertas lembut semua dah jadi mangsa koyakan dan kunyahan yang rakus.

sekarang ni Hafiy dalam 'mode memusnahkan barang'. semua barang2 yang Mami/Bibik susun, satu-satu Hafiy sepah dan selerakkan. objek paling digemari ialah kotak bekas supplement Mami. punyelah struggle panjat kerusi nak capai.kalau time Mami OK, Mami layan Hafiy, masukkan semula, macamana nak susun, letak balik kat tempat asal. kalau time Mami penat, Mami biar je Hafiy tarik, jatuhkan & keluarkan semua isi kotak. selerakkan & jadikan botol2 tu sebagai rattle. layan~

tapi penat2 pun kadang2 Mami kena jugak gagahkan, cari Hafiy kalau tiba2 hilang dari pandangan. kadang2 Hafiy pegi main kat stoller & hi chair, main2 roda. suka sangat dengan roda. OK la kalau Hafiy main kat situ sebab Mami bole nampak. tapi kekadang Hafiy merangkak pegi dapur main dengan hos mesin basuh, kuali2, botol2 minyak tu. aduuh, nak tak nak, pening2 pun kene jugak bangun pegi amik Hafiy. bahaya main kat dapur, kot lah ada apa2 yang Mami tak perasan. nanti Abiy kena install gate kat pintu dapur karang ni.

Adik pun agak terabai jugak sekarang. Mami kurang bercakap, dan membaca dengan Adik. oh Mami sangat tidak laraaaat. kat ofis pun kalau turun-naik (even pakai lif), termengah2 jugak Mami dibuatnya (macamana nak hidup kat KL nanti?). minggu ni kita pegi check up Adik & ambik kad merah dia. Mami tengah fikir lagi nak check up kat mana bila kat KL nanti... Damansara Damai Medical Centre atau Prince Court Medical Centre? DDMC macam best sebab dekat rumah Tok Pa, time weekend bole pegi. PMC pulak dekat ofis Mami nanti & hospital tu macam canggih je. hehe. oh yang mana satu...pilihan kalbu~

Mami harap sickness ni cepatlah berakhir. Mami nak layan Hafiy dan Adik. kita boleh main2, baca buku & bercerita. sekarang Mami nak cakap2 pun tak larat. nak senyum pun tak larat! hahaha. cemana pun alhamdulillah sebab Mami selera makan (masakan sendiri sahaja). & tiba2 Mami boleh makan mangga muda yang masam tu. biasanya tak mampu nak telan kalau tak celup gula banyak2.

Teach Children About Islam

everychild born in a state of purify, or in Arabic called fitrah. as what had been said by our Prophet in his sabda "setiap bayi yg dilahirkan dalam keadaan fitrah (seperti kain putih), maka kedua ibu bapanyalah yang menjadikannya Yahudi, Nasrani atau Majusi" - HR Bukhari & Muslim. how to teach our kids about Islam? is sending them to Islamic school enough?

one Arabic poem said that "a mom is a school" (al-ummu al-madrasah). just wanna share with those who did not take Arabic, erti madrasah asalnya dari perkataan darasa bermaksud ajar. kata terbitannya seperti mudarris=pengajar, mudarrasun = subjek yg di ajar, tadris = pengajaran, madrasah=tempat belajar/sekolah. sending to Islamic school/kindergarten, etc. is only a small part (but still important) in Islamic education. to prove that a mom is a school, the BEST place of learning about Islam to these children is at home and the BEST teachers are the parents.

we don't need any resources or even any cent to teach them about Islam. since Islam is the way of life, we should not pay big amount, it's just by:-

role model
the reason why Allah sent prophets to us in form of human like us is to be role models. it is the most effective way of teaching, as in al-Quran, we are asked to practice what we preach, meaning that, by saying alone can never be an effective way of teaching and learning.

to teach them to pray, we pray first.
to teach them to recite Quran, we recite Quran first.
to teach them to fast, we fast first.
to teach them good manners, we practice good manners first.

celebrate Islam big days
what are big days in Islam? Aidil Fitri & Aidil Adha? other than those 2 harirayas, there are many big days that most of us might not appreciate (other than it is a holiday) as we appreciate hari rayas. it must be fun if we can create something to celebrate other Islamic big days with our kids. e.g.
Friday = saidul yaum (penghulu hari)
Awal Muharam = maal Hijrah - this symbolises 2 main event, the journey of Rasulullah & umat Islam from Mekah to Madinah
Maulidurrasul = the birth of Nabi Muhammad SAW - it was a riwayat saying that, anybody who celebrates the birthday of Rasululullah will be given big reward. even Abu Jahal (Rasulullah's Uncle who opposed him) gets water to drink as big as the hole on this thumb in Jahannam, because he celebrated Rasulullah's birthday.
Israk Mikraj = when Rasulullah was Israk from Masjidilharam to Masjidil Aqsa & Mikraj from Masjidil Aqsa to Sidratul Muntaha.
Awal Ramadhan = a fest to celebrate Ramadhan, a month of fasting, which in not common in our country.
etc. (will blog later about the details)

get to know Islamic countries
our children should be taught that Islam is syumul and universal. thus, all Muslims are brothers. taught them about other Islamic countries especially where our brothers are threatened, such as Palestin. and also get them know about Zionis, what is the difference between Zionis & Jew, etc.

teach them the beauty about Allah's creation
we don't have to go somewhere farther, it's just around us. tell them about their bodies, why are the hands like this and legs like that, etc.
if we go out, take time to fell and touch about anything we see, and talk to them the wonder about all those...

tell them stories about Allah, Prophets, Angles, etc.
hmm.. i don't have dedicated time to tell them stories & i don't use book to read them bedtime story neither. while BFing to sleep, i tell them stories i remember.

integrate Islam into life
often, when we parents think about teaching children about Islam, is about the rituals; salat, fasting, etc. don't forget that Islam is a total way of life, and every aspect has an Islamic element that we need to talk about and demonstrate to them. one example is, when we go to work, usually we'll say "Papa & Mama have to work to earn money so that we can buy you new clothes, etc." but instead, try to say "Papa goes to work because Allah says a good father should do it, and Mama goes to work because Allah says a good wife should help her husband". sound nicer, isn't it?

make al-Quran fun
reciting al-Quran shouldn't be always as 'formal' as every after solat, on the praying mat, to the qiblat, etc. make it fun by chanting it while playing/doing activities with them. Quran should be a part of our daily life and not only for special 'occasions'.

sing Islamic kid's song
i still remember songs taught during my kindergarten. and nowadays lots of songs can be played such as 'I Am A Muslim','A New Kids', or famous songs by Yusof Islam. Hafiy loves those! oh it's no wrong singing twinkle2 little stars OK...this is only part of it.

say doa in everything
don't limit to doa makan, doa tidur, doa belajar, etc. say nice word, and encourage our children to say nice word, as words are doa, and make them aware about it.

tell them stories about Islamic history
tell them about Khulafa' ar-Rasyidin, Umaiyah Emperor, Abasiyah Emperor, Turki Uthmaniyah, Islamic scholars, etc. it must be fun knowing the glittering of early Islam.

dont compartmentalize Islam!
sometimes we just confuse what is Islam, what is not. Islam is COMMON SENSE, and it is always GOOD THINGS. Islam is not on ibadah or the 5 pillars alone. Islam is not a part of our everyday life, but it should be our life. Islam is very complete with everything; daily routines, learn, play, entertainment, rest, etc.

OK those are just few things from my 2cents on how to teach children about Islam, making it fun and not 'something i HAVE TO follow' but 'something i do and follow'. (other moms might want to share their tips those i believe should be BETTER!) i really adore the idea of sending kids to Islamic kindy or school. but to me, our own house should be the first home/school for their Islamic knowledges and practices.

may all of us be THE BEST mothers to mould our children into THE BEST jundullah for the future of our nation and religion. insya-Allah.

What Makes A Good Parent

being a parent is more than become a mother, or father. parent is the first person a little child could see... someone who they 'think' they 'should' imitate in order to grow up.

i remember my 'discussion' with one of my friend, Aunty Jina about her 2 YO daughter's tantrum. whenever she (the lil girl) gets upset, she'll scream and throw everything over, even if in public. (even if both of us had no experience) we talked to find the best way to stop that tantrum. i told her that it could be a normal tantrum for a little kid but she said, she didn't think so since her little siblings were never had as such. could it be the uniqueness? then she told me, she thought it could be because of her hot-tempered husband. the father, everytime in bad temper will shout to the family, smash things, etc. Aunty Jina then (she threw up the problem & she gave the solution herself) brought her daughter away everytime the father in bad mood, and she told & show the kid how to deal with emotion (luckily she was a cool lady) and gave her baby options such as "if you scream, you won't get anything but if you behave Mama will give you present". after few weeks (or months? forget already) she 'reported' that the tantrum was over. but it should be lots of hardworks huh?

i really believe in 'kepimpinan melalui teladan' and i'm truly against 'parenting style' that asking the kids to read books while the parents watching TV.[TV is the most attractive & powerful tool that preoccupies baby's (like Hafiy) mind. he'll stop all activities including BFing to 'watch' his favourite TV programmes (news, talkshows & Spongebob). -but i'm quite OK with that, at least he's watching the news!- i'm not against TV cos it also provides lots of infos but parents should guide the kids on what program they should watch rather than let them to decide. oh it is so.. vast of 'dirty amusement' & even sometimes i hate watching the typical Malay movies/drama that symbolises the 'short-minded', 'empty-life' of Malays... to me watching cartoon is better]

this is a story about my family.

my mother loved to read. she didn't read thick2 books but magazines and comic. i believe that it gave a big impact when i could read before i entered kindergarten (that time it was a miracle achievement cos at my kampung, Standard 1-3 pon not many could read or even knew A B C). my father said he just bought me a set of A B C blocks and from that i learned to spell, to read, to write, etc. and of course it because they also read (i'm not sure they read to me or not) & i'm sure it drove me learn how to read.(that time was no flash card, etc.)

i was not a genius child & reading at that early ages wasn't because i used to be genius, but the culture nurtured by my parents had actually encourage me to read. my Pak Teh said, my 'kegilaan' toward reading was very extreme until i would stop to collect any papers on the floor/road to read 'em. but it gave side effect, it made me a very untalkative person cos too busy reading! even i seldomly talk to my aunties & uncles.

in my opinion, a good parent should not be someone who could give 'everything' to his/her babies; branded clothes, branded toys, branded things, expensive goods, hi-standard classes/school, lots of wealths, etc... but someone who could be the best role model to the kids.

i don't think is it works if a father told his son to 'stay away from cigarette' while he's puffing the smoke...

1. we want our kids to be healthy, so we should have healthy lifestyle first. we should have enough rest, eat healthy foods, exercise, etc. & get regular medical check up.
2. we want to keep our kids safe, we first have to practise safety. wear seatbelt! practise HSE at home, clean up the mess before leaving the room, careful with knives, hot pane, etc.
3. we want our kids to learn, we should keep our minds active. read books, try new things, do something new together with our kids.
4. we want our kids to communicate. we first have to talk to others. practise effective listening and talking. have efficient discussion with out spouse and kids during family time & ask their opinion too!
5. we want our kids to do good deeds. we have to practise good manner. talk nicely to others, say thank you or sorry, pray, read Quran, respect others, etc.
6. we want our kids to enjoy life, so we shouldn't invite stress to come to our mind. listen to music or interesting TV shows, read some comics, do something fun, practise creativity, play etc.

we should have regular discussion with the kids, even if he's only a baby. when Hafiy does something like kacau2 barang Abiy, i still layan him but say to him "we don't play with other's belonging. this is Abiy's and let's put it at its place OK". i don't simply put the things back and scold "no! no!" or it will hinder his future exploration. and the pantang is when one of us talk to our kids, the other should not intefere, and don't say something like "u jgn marah baby mcm tu, u pun sama je..".oh i bet the kid will lose respect to the parent who tried to 'tegur' that no-no behavior.

so what makes us good parents? it's not the materials or any methods, but it is how we cultivate our life.

on BF, toy & oil price

i got this question

hi mami hafiy. nak tanya pendapat sikit psl pumping ni:
1. baby saya umur 5 minggu sekarang & saya memang exclusive BF dia. 3 minggu lagi saya nak start keje & skrg saya dah mula kumpul stok EBM. Masalah saya ialah baby saya menyusu setiap sejam stgh/2jam sekali & klu saya pam susu utk stok EBM, breast saya tak sempat nak penuh balik utk next feeding & baby pun merengek sbb tak puas minum. mcmana saya nak plan pumping time saya utk stok EBM & pd masa yg sama susu saya cukup utk direct feeding?
2. setiap kali pam saya cuma berjaya pam 1.5oz shj sedangkan skrg baby saya minum 3oz each feeding time.ini sedikit sebyk merisaukan saya samada saya boleh stock up sebanyak itu atau tidak.
3. adakah penggunaan electric breastpump boleh meningkatkan jumlah susu yg dipam pada each pumping time berbanding manual pump? buat masa skrg saya guna breastpump avent isis manual.
4. adakah milkmaid tea berkesan utk menabahkan susu?
-mummy dina on how to pump milk?

i am not the best person to answer, but i try my best from my little experience (& i believe other mommies have their own practices & knowledge to share).

1. the rule of thumb is, always remember that 'SUPPLY BASE ON DEMAND'. our milk duct is not like oil reservoir that will deplete upon high production, but the high production and demand will stimulate more milk to formed. continue pumping & direct BF, it might initially looks awful when we feel 'susu dh abis lepas pump & xcukup utk baby'. however, if we continue pumping & BFing consistently, the body will learn that there's extra demand and it will 'work' to provide more and more milk.
2. start early & you'll be OK. right now cos u're still direct BFing, so ur hasil tenusu might not be that much. but once you're back to work, you'll get even more than that. even, if you have more stocks, you can combine and it shouldn't be one-day-stock for one-day-feeding.
3. i think the pump type is subjective. my experience, suction on manual pump is stronger than electrical one, but i can pump a bit longer using electrical cos can avoid lenguh2. hehe. i think comparing production between manual & electrical is like comparing orange & apple. both have their own pro & cons.
4. i used to take milkmaid tea but it didn't work on me. i think different people have different lactogenic agent. however, the BEST to increase milk are by INCREASE PUMPING FREQUENCY and DIRECT FEEDING. and forget to have a balance diet & plenty of water!
   

hope that's help ya Mummy Dina, happy BFing!

my 8 month boy

we bought this form fitter for him. initially, i never expect anything on him, to fit the shapes into the holes, etc. but we still guide him how to. and usually he'll scream everytime we hold his hand to fit the holes, cos he liked to suck the blocks instead.

Abiy said "he doesn't interested on this toy". i replied "it's OK. maybe he's too small to play with this kind of toy but we shouldn't stop encouraging him OK".

one fine evening i found him, tried to put a shape into the holes (of course la tak match). owh it was soo touching! he's such an independent baby! Mommy never tot you know how to do it! so everyday after work, i spend time with him, playing with the fitter while learning about shapes and colors.

and it's so true that babies are full of miracles. we don't know when they start learning and how they learn. we parents, don't stop showing, teaching, guiding them even if they are just a small kids and leave us with no respond. be consistent, put a little patient and you'll be surprised!

on the oil price

double the price in 5 years! i still remember 5 years back when i was in uni. the fuel price was rm1.35/L and now it's doubled. the crude oil price also struck dramatically to usd130/barrel. the growing demand, supply disruption, OPEC effect and commodity traders & market investors' behavior, are factors those are expected for this kind of resources.

true, it is really hard for the makan gaji like us. barang xde, harga naik. minyak baik, harga naik. gaji naik sikit, harga naik banyak. always trapped in the rat race. how banyak the gaji pon still tak kaya2. & now in food crisis we can't buy beras siam from Brunei anymore :((

but we believe in the law of abundance. out there are lots of wealth & rezeki Allah takkan putus. it's just how we strive for it.

Mommy keja kuat2 biar dapat bonus lebeyyyy..!!!

Tragedi Mei Tai

the how:

L: in standing position for takbiratul ihram & al-Fatihah. one hand holds baby, one hand to takbir & put below chest (if possible).
R: ruku'. hold (hug) the baby with both hands.

L: sujud with baby. one hand holds baby, one hand on the floor
M: sujud with baby at sides. put the baby beside you & perform sujud
R: in sitting position for duduk antara 2 sujud & tahiyat

REMARK: the baby's position is depend on the way you carry the baby outside solat.

--------------------
what happened in May (at 7 month) a special dedication to Auntie Sarah (get well soon):

1. Hafiy met Mak Ngah FOR THE FIRST TIME! (she just came back from Manipal,India)

sape lebih huduh?

2. Hafiy met Adam.

"eh awak! awak! kamera!"
"apehal mamat ni?"


"Abiy tolong, ada orang nak rompak kamera saya!"
"apeke hey nye anak pakcik ni?"
"tadek sapa nk rompak kamu nye, tu kamera kamu tetinggal kt situlah"

3. Hafiy caught fever 2 times. however, upon the recovery, Hafiy achieved these, very the sudden:-

budak demam

• crawl!
• stand by himself (support by chair, Mommy's legs, etc.)
• walk on 1st step walker
• eat papaya, banana & other fruits w/o lenyek2. he mashed 'em with his gum
• climb
• terjun tiruk
• call "MAMA!"

4. Abiy bought walker. but Hafiy hate it until today.

please get me out of here!

5. Hafiy's hobbies

selerakkan, cabut &makan playmat

makan buku biar bangat pandai


main dgn segala menda tali termasuk tali pinggang, tali seluar Mami & talipon


panjat Mami


berdiri!


koyak buku! bergaya je lebih pastu habeh kene cabut benda2 yg bole dicabut.

6. Funtime together

kena buli

Mami beli kat Servay je Hafiy nih

7. Mommy lost another.. 2kgs! wow! so it made me 45KG now! yahhuuuu!

-----------------

this morning, Mommy read a book & i gave Hafiy a baby book to play with. i didn't pay much attention on him cos i was totally captured by the book i read. he came to me and climbed. i tot he didn't interested on book. however, after i surrendered my reading, Hafiy got to my book and opened it up.

he just want our things! (it's a norm for babies and little kids to imitate their parents)

that's why i don't give him baby porridge, puree etc. i bake avocado, sweet potato, pumpkin, potato, etc. and give him in their perfect shapes, and 'raw', mild & pleasant fruits like banana & papaya, for him to enjoy. as long as the fruits are gentle enough & he can mash with his gum, i don't afraid of choking (but the mealtime still have to be under full adult's observation!). 'brickly' fruits like pear or apple, not in the list yet. he might choke!

eat my baby Hafiy, eat! grow my baby Hafiy, grow!

Pray With Baby

sembahyang dengan baby. ops, ustaz Mami kata seeloknya pakai word 'solat' sebab sembahyang tu general term. orang non-Muslim pun sembahyang juga, tp kita orang Muslim ada term special, solat. so, solat dengan baby.

Mami dulu ada dengar bahwa Rasulullah pernah solat sambil dokong cucu baginda, anak kepada Zainab. tp Mami xtahu macamana cara solat sambil dokong anak. Mami asked around kawan2 yg dah ada baby masa tu, ramai kata tak boleh & susah, sebab:

• baby pakai pampers, ada najis.
• baby lelaki yg belum khatan bawa najis.

sehinggalah Mami dapat Hafiy & Mami akui mmg sukar utk Mami melaksanakan solat. Hafiy suka nangis kalo Mami tinggalkan even sekejap, nak berdokong je. dilema jugakla Mami, cemana nak buat. solat Mami pun jadi hujung2 waktu je sebab nk kene tunggu Mak Tok&Tok Ayah balik kerja (ms cuti maternity), Hafiy tido, etc. kusyuk tak kusyuk toksah cerita, kadang2 jadi 'asal solat' aje. semoga Allah mengampuni Mami..

sampailah kita balik Miri & Mami consult dengan Bunda (Kak Evi =sebut Efi). Bunda bagitau Mami cara2 solat sambil sokong Hafiy. masya-Allah memang senang sangat, dan dua sebab TIDAK BOLEH di atas tu memang TIDAK VALID langsung.

alhamdulillah, sejak tu memang Mami solat sambil dokong Hafiy. memang senang dan mudah, even kadang2 Hafiy bukan nak duk diam. tp at least xdela melalak2.

mudah saja. pertama sekali kena faham kedudukan tangan tidak ada dalam syarat sah (ada 5) atau rukun solat (ada 13). dan juga faham tentang sunat hai'ah (ada 15) & sunah ab'adh (ada 4). kedudukan tangan semasa solat (takbiratul ihram, baca surah, iktidal, etc.) adalah sunat hai'ah, yakni tidak mengapa jika tidak dibuat. manakala sunat ab'adh, jika tertinggal kena buat sujud sahwi.

satu lagi tentang gerakan semasa solat. yg famous (belajar sejak tadika) ialah melebihi 3 kali berturut2 membatalkan solat. however, tersebut tiada dalam dalil & adalah pendapat sesetengah ulamak. malah ada ulamak berpendapat boleh bergerak lebih 3 kali berturut2, tetapi tidak boleh terover. namun berdasarkan riwayat bahawa Rasulullah pernah solat mendokong bayi, membuka pintu dan membunuh haiwan berbisa semasa solat, yg tentunya perlu banyak gerakan. bagi Mami, kita ambil begini - jika tiada keperluan, limitkan kepada 3 kali saja, jika ada keperluan (cth seperti dokong baby) maka tidak mengapa. jadi, jgn bergerak melebihi 3 kali sekiranya tiada keperluan.

cara-cara solat sambil dokong baby:

• berdiri seperti biasa sambil dokong baby.
• sebelah tangan pegang baby, sebelah angkat takbir.
• baca al-fatihah & surah seperti biasa sambil pegang baby. kalo boleh sebelah tangan diletak di tempat biasa.
• semasa rukuk pegang baby dua2 tangan.
• masa sujud, sama ada pegang baby sebelah atau letak baby di sisi.
• jika letak di sisi, sama ada mau teruskan dokong, atau biarkan saja dia lepak2 kat situ.
• kalo mau dokong, angkat saja & pegang mcm mula2 tadi.
• ms duduk tahiyat tiada masalah since baby bole diriba terus.
• baca doa Qunut, kalo bole angkat sebelah tangan & kalo xbole x apa, pegang je baby dua2 tangan.
  

Hafiy sejak bertambah lasak ni memang tak terkawal. tp alhamdulillah, dengan dokong Hafiy, Mami bole concentrate solat (kusyuk) daripada terfikir2 tentang ape jadi kat Hafiy w/o dokong, kot2 terjatuh ke, terantuk ke, etc. & 'kena' solat cepat2 sebab Hafiy melalak. even if letak sbelah sejadah pun percubaan2 utk 'mencederakan diri sendiri' mmg tak dapat dibendung.

kalo masa solat tu Hafiy tido, Mami akan palingkan muka sekali sekala utk pastikan Hafiy OK.

utk pastikan kesucian, Mami tuka diapers Hafiy sebelum solat. yg keluar2 masa solat tu tak apa, mcm juga vaginal discharge yg keluar, tidak apa. yg penting sebelum solat tu kena pastikan betul2 suci.

alhamdulillah, Mami tak risau2 lagi 'terpaksa' solat lewat (& ada kawan Bunda yg jamakkan solat sebab babynya asik nangis) sebab Mami bole solat sambil dokong Hafiy. di samping tu, Mami boleh bawak anak Mami solat sama, dan semoga Allah mudahkan aktiviti ibadah wajib ni utk anak2 Mami since dari kecil dari dah ikut Mami 'solat jemaah'.

Cos We Speak in Different Language

dah dapat anak ni baru la rasa perasaan mak kita dulu...
dah ada anak ni baru dpt rasa cemana mak kita rasa...
dah jadi mak ni jadi makin appreciate mak sendiri...
dsb.

when my close friend gave birth to her first daughter 3 years ago, she told me that she never felt such that 'love' towards her mom before she became a mummy herself. and it's really true when i experienced it myself.

then i started asking myself "do i have to wait for my first daughter has her first child to be appreciated as a mommy???"

i don't believe that it is a nature of life, cos there's many who know how to appreciate their mothers without have to give birth to anyone (oh not me...).

it's because... we speak the different language.

i remember when i was a teenager then, anything came from my mom's mouth was 'NONSENSE & always NAG NAG NAG'. even if she just asked me to study i said "i know la Mak, you don't have to nag like this". and i don't like to talk to my own mom especially about my problems because she was a typical mommy who 'likes to nag'.

yah it's just the language we use was different.

parents - giving advice
kids hear it as - nag

parents - care
kids hear it as - busybody

parents - marah sebab sayang
kids hear it as - marah sebab tak suka kat kita

parents - you have to follow the rules
kids hear it as - mengongkong

& etc.

now i am a parent and i believe that kids will be kids. they won't aware about the 'differences' and they won't pay any cent to understand their parents who to them are always 'nagging, not up-to-date, tak sporting, tak faham jiwa remaja, etc.'. and it's my role to play my part, and practice Covey's 5th habit: seek first to understand then to be understood.

and it's really is. even now, when i come back home after work, my baby couldn't help calling me to hold him, even if i'm still in the car. should i tell him "baby, Mommy baru balik ni penat la. baby duk la ngan bibik tu jap...". what do you think my baby will feel? does he know about my work? does he know about my tiredness? does he know that i need a little rest? he won't know, cos what he knows is only 'I need my Mommy!'. any rejection will make him upset and disappointed.

so i tune in his request, try to understand him and speak in his language (not baby talk OK!). i don't need any silent moment to rest. resting with my baby is the most beautiful thing, and listening to his voice (melalak ke membebel ke) is the greatest music.

i'm not just doing the 'sacrifice' because i am a parent, but hopefully this is a baby step for future mutual understanding between us, and later my kids will understand my language and use the same principle to make our communication effective. i wanna understand them and they will understand me. so we have to speak in the same language.

i wanna be appreciated as a Mommy before my teenage kids have kids of their own.

Co-Sleeping

this is to answer aunty intan's tag.

we can't comply the requirement lah since we don't have baby cot. we co-sleep! and i'm not going to share my bed's picture here. hehe. secret place tuuuu!

actually, we wanted to buy a baby cot, or playpen, since 98.9% of our frens bought cribs for their babies. we planned to buy it earlier then, but for the budget's sake, we defer it until we're back to Miri. so since birth, Hafiy was co-sleep with Mommy.

back to Miri, i was interested no more to have any baby cot. we were very comfortable to sleep on the same bed. you know what, it is very easy for night feeding. and this is part of attachment parenting, where the baby sleep soundly in the loving arm of the mother. and you know what, it gives extra time to me and my baby to spend together, after long working hours.

i heard many negative feedback about co-sleeping, like:

• baby will not independent
• increase risk of SID
• mom roll over the baby
• baby roll over and fall from bed
• baby don't wanna leave parents' bed
• baby cannot sleep without mother
  
• etc.
  

yes, co-sleeping has its pro and cons. in fact, everything has pro and cons and its depend on us how to reduce the cons and how to optimize the pro, if we choose to do it.

reduce the risk of co-sleeping by:

• don't use heavy blanket i.e. comforter until the baby is older enough
• if possible, don't use blanket
• put pillow away from baby
• don't sleep with other toddlers :D
• put a barrier i.e. bantal peluk if you're too tired
  

about the dependency, or the difficult transition to their own room later, i don't think it's a problem. according to Dr. Sears, co-sleeping gives the child of overall feeling of well-being and confidence. and info from babycentre says "some people believe that babies who co-sleep with their parents are more independent, more outgoing, and more confident as children. As adults, they have higher self-esteem, better stress-management skills, and are more comfortable with intimacy than adults who slept alone as babies".

and yes, Hafiy really can't sleep without Mommy. he needs the cik nen and sometimes want to sleep on Mommy's chest. some look at this as 'letihla maknye kalo nak tido kene macam tu je'.i saw he slept with others, he doesn't need those things, only with me. and i don't feel 'susah' to put my baby to sleep on my chest or my arm. it won't be long, isn't it? i really cherish this moment. when he becomes a big brother or when he is big enough, he won't sleep on my chest anymore. even sometimes, even if he is in deep sleep, i put him on my chest, to make me sleep plak :D

is that why we choose co-sleeping? actually, we don't need any good reason to co-sleep, cos our WHY is only because - to save our $$$$ :D

What I Want You to Be?

Hafiy: ni map nakgi cari harta karun tau.
Adam: ala takyah kelentong kita tau ni alas meja.


"awak kita nk cakap samting kita terpoo-poo dalam suar"
"hehehek geli jela awak ni"


"hey tepilah!"
"lu apehal bro?"

when i was in primary 1, my teacher asked me about my ambition. i still remember the answer was "saya nak jadi askar cikgu!". and the teacher replied with "perempuan mana bole jadi askar" hehe.

at age 10, i asked my dad about what did he wants me to be. he said, he wants me to be an architect. at that age, i didnt know what architect is, but i wrote it in my books, and told everyone that i wanted to be an architect. i put my target in studies, to study hard in order to achieve my ambition, which i believed it was a little bit harder than to become a housewife. hehe.

however, i wasn't exposed to what i should go through i.e. courses at university, which campus, etc.
i just went with the flow, until i had to make my own decision on what i should take after my secondary. i applied all unis, other than UPU, i sent forms to all unis in the papers. but i terlepas pandang on overseas application :( i got almost all offers, from UIA, Uniten, MMU, UTP... but i chose UTP because it came first :D it was soo no direction, and it was no more architecture.

and now i am not an architect, but somebody with no value to the nation oh d****!!!

during my internship, i still remember my conversation with a manager in that construction site. he told me something like,

Malays' parents usually don't know their role in helping their kids pursuing the future. unlike other races, they already have in mind what should their kids be in future plus the resources, and they use it to encourage their kids, so that their kids will have clear direction and avoid them to be unemployed.

my mom told me to study hard so that i can get good job, but i myself didn't know what good job was, until i finished my degree and hunt for job like a crazy. luckily i took engineering.

very significant isn't it?

i went through that, and i dont want my kids to walk through it again. we don't map or plan on what our kids should be in future, but we encourage and help them to have a better picture on what they should consider when thinking about their futures. i have a dream that my kids able to say something like this:

i want to get *As in my UPSR because i want to study medicine after SPM at a medical college in Ireland and i to be an oncology to do research for cancer's treatment before i reach 30YO.

amiin.

i don't need my kids to be a super genius like can solve Calculus at age of 6 or can create any Physics formula at age 9, enough for they can use their potential to help themselves, our family and most importantly our nation.

for us (Abiy & i), a true genius is not a super-intelligent, but someone who can help himself & others.