Hafiy, Mami & Abiy mintak kawan2 doakanTok Pa Hafiy baik2 & sembuh mcm sediakala.

Hafiy sekeluarga di KL jenguk Tok Pa. Hafiy sayang Tok Pa.
tolonng doakan Tok Pa ye..

-updated by Aunty Bolly.

7 Habits of A Highly Effective Nursing Mom

mula2 sekali Mami tukar paradigma pemikiran kepada "SAYA BOLEH!" walaupun ramai org2 keliling kita yg gagal. so what? ramai orang pegi audition AF ok tp berapa belas orang je yg bole masuk [hehe, apsal bg contoh AF plak ni]. tapi dalam konsep ni, macam rezeki ALlah la.. bukan one cake for all tapi setiap orang ada kek masing2.

the first 3 habits is about private victory, yg mana Mami kena kuasai diri Mami sendiri dulu. ye lah, cemana nak yakinkan orang kalo kita sdr pon 50-50 kan? bab Allah izinkan tu cerita lain, yg penting usaha kita macamana. nak tawakal, mesti usaha dulu. insya-Allah, Dia akan bantu.

habit 1: be proactive
tak payah tunggu ada orang kat belakang yg pom-pom kan "go go u can do it girl!" utk Mami teruskan breastfeeding. mmg, kadang2 perlukan support tapi yg paling utama ialah tunjang dalaman yg kuat dan tegar. support aje banyak tapi dalam hampeh, xde maknanya kan. dalam apa2 jua pun, yg utama ialah 'core' dia. kalo x ada structure utama, support beribu tan pun roboh jugak bangunan.

Mami nak breastfeed so Mami yg kene tentukan & buat keputusan. tak payah tanya orang ni "OK tak kalo i breastfeed?" or orang tu "kalau i breastfeed agak2 OK x r..". i know breastfeeding is THE BEST and i can do it. so why not?

habit 2: begin with the end of mind
dalam apa2 pon kena ada plan & target. nak breastfeed, berapa lama? sebulan? 4 bulan? 6 bulan? setahun? 2 tahun? 3 tahun? dan dah ada target tu kena la ada strategi kan? buat mapping then barula nampak jalan ke sana.

macam kita nak drive dari Pujut ke ofis. targetnya ialah ofis. strateginya, mula2 kena la tahu jalan mana nak lalu. jalan Pujut ka, ikut Permyjaya ka, ikut Piasau ka, mana2 ka. kalo xtau, carila map. kalo men taram je ntah jalan mana2.. silap2 bukan sampai ofis Carig*li, tapi ofis ML*G plak. ahahahak.

Mami put my target as:

• Short term : to maintain & increase milk production.
• Medium term : to breastfeed for 2 years.
• Long term : to have a happy, smart, healthy kids.

target & plan mesti kene tulis. a blunt pencil is better than a sharp mind.

habit 3: put first thing first
kena priority. kalo nak breastfeed, apa yg kena utamakan? antaranya, disiplin. frequent stimulation sgt perlu. pam tak boleh malas2, makan kena jaga, tak bole bukan2.

kat ofis, Mami letak target pam 3 kali sehari (base target). stretch 2, 4 kali sehari. stretch 1, 5 kali sehari. kalo 2 kali, outperform. hahaha. kt ofis mmg kena pandai priority. Mami setkan time pump pkl 9pg, 12.30tghr & 3.30ptg. kene plan siap2 apa akan berlaku the next day, i.e. meeting, discussion, training, etc. so that bole adjust pumping time. cthnya kalo meeting start pkl 9, so Mami awalkan session yg belah pagi tu. and so on.

4 habit seterusnya ialah tentang public victory, yg mana mengkisahkan kita dgn masyarakat dan orang lain.

habit 4: think win-win
contohnya macam ni. Mami nak breastfeed, so Mami kena spend time pumping everyday. tp Bos menyuruh buat kerja macam seekor robot. think win-win, kerja siap, pam setel. cemana nak think win-win, itulah sebab kita dah kuasai diri, dah plan, dah tau apa kita nak, dah ada priority so keutamaan diri dah jadi perkara utama. skg ialah memastikan orang lain juga dapat capai target mereka.

antara kawan2 breastfeeding Mami pun, insya-Allah kami cuba berkongsi rasa, kongsi rahsia, tips, etc. selagi boleh. sorang ibu yg menyusu akan suka lihat orang lain menyusu jugak. tak ada ibu menyusu (setakat yg Mami jumpa) kedekut ilmu, xmau share dengan sapa2, nak dia sorang je yg berjaya nyusu. inilah think win-win. semua dapat.

habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood
habit ni amat penting utk berhadapan dgn mommies yg bermasalah. Mami ada 1 mulut & 2 telinga, so perlukan byk masa utk mendengar. orang yg betul2 nak breastfeed tp tak berjaya, banyak faktor. jadi Mami tak bole pandai2 summarizekan masalah dia, biar dia cerita dulu barula Mami deliver my concern.

kalo sesorang ibu tu tak breastfeed, Mami tak bole hukum dia awal2 tanpa tahu apa sebenarnya berlaku. biar dia cerita dulu apa kejadiannya. then, bila dia dah selesa dengan kita, barula senang kita pula nak share pengalaman kita kan?

utk menangani mereka2 yg anti-breastfeeding pun bole pakai approach ni. instead of bertekak nak menangkan diri masing2, mtk mereka jelaskan kenapa anti? kenapa tak suka? then barulah kita share kan kita punya points.

habit 6: synergy
synergy ni more than collaboration and cooperation. ia adalah satu combined effort, satu simbiosis. semua orang mendapat kebaikannya. dan hasilnya bukan satu perkara saja, akan jadi banyak perkara. yg paling obvious bila Mami breastfeed, ia adalah satu hubungan simbiosis dgn Hafiy. Mami dapat bakar lemak (haha) & Hafiy dapat susu. dalam masa yg sama menguatkan bonding Mami-Hafiy, dan membekalkan Hafiy dgn nutrien yg optimum. wah, satu contoh synergy yg amat berkesan!

lain2, synergy Abiy-Mami. kuncinya senang je, buat Mami happy. bila Mami happy, bukan saja production susu sangat baik, malah bagi lebih banyak lagi... family kita pun ceria & bahagia, insya-Allah.

dalam kalangan kawan2 breastfeeding moms, ia macam satu ikatan yg membuatkan kita bersama2. Mami kan, dapat ramai kawan oleh sebab breastfeed ni. alhamdulillah. so dari satu faktor ni saja: breastfeed, Mami dapat bonus, new friends, new knowledge, new experience, etc. nice, kan?

habit 7: sharpen the saw
utk pastikan semuanya berjalan lancar, mestilah ada cycle yg betul. contohnya, malam b4 tido adalah masa utk muhasabah for the better tomorrow. pisau pun kene tajamkan juga lepas potong2. walaupun bersemangat, get full support, etc. Mami tak boleh biarkan diri, body, hati Mami wearing out. beside the high spirit, makan kena jaga, amalan kena jaga, kesihatan kena jaga, hubungan dengan orang lain kena jaga, etc.

at the end of the day, i found out that, semuanya anugerah Allah & rezeki-Nya utk dinikmati oleh Mami anak beranak. cemanapun, still need Mami punya self-driven. ya la, rezeki2 jugak, tapi rezeki tu tak datang bergolek. & Allah tu Maha Adil lagi Maha Kaya. setelah usaha bersungguh2 tp tak berjaya, mungkin ada sesuatu yg Allah sorokkan. jika berjaya, alhamdulillah itu mmg Allah dah reservekan utk kita.

yang paling penting ialah 3 habits pertama tu. itu kena kuasai dulu. itulah dia yg jadi akar tunjang sesuatu kejayaan. ye la, again kalo sendiri pun 50-50, mudah goyah, macamana nak teruskan perjalanan. foundation tu paling penting kalo nak buat bangunan.

semoga Allah izinkan Mami utk susukan Hafiy sampailah Hafiy 2 tahun ya. amiin. & ibu2 lain juga Mami doakan mereka semua berjaya mencapai target masing2. amiin.

Susu oh Susu

Mami pernah minum fresh milk 3 jenis binatang (susu yg diperah terus dari tetek binatang, bukan fresh mik dalam kotak/botol kat supermarket), kambing, lembu & unta. bukan Mami isap kat tetek natang2 tu tau! meaning, susu yg takde mengalami proses2 nyahinfeksi ke nyahbau ke apebende ke, perah & terus minum in-situ.

1. susu kambing
masa ni Mami kena Hepatitis A, masa sekolah rendah. antara ikhtiarnya minum susu kambing segar. ingat lagi kambing Tok Nah kena dera, pakat picit nenen dia perah susu kasik Mami minum. Mami lupa rasa dia cemana sebab tutup idung masa minum tu. tp yg konfem mmg rasa kambing la!

2. susu lembu
masa form 4, Mami tengah gila produk tenusu. hari2 minum susu. tak cukup susu kotak, Mami suh Tok Ayah beli susu lembu asli yg baru diperah. memang lembu betul rasanya! sebab tu la badan Mami sgt chubby di waktu itu.

3. susu unta
Mami minum ni ms p umrah before dpt kerja dulu (konon2 pegi mengadu nasib kutiadakerja!) disebabkan susu kambing rasa kambing, susu lembu rasa lembu, Mami rasa susu unta konfem rasa unta! tapikan.. salah! despite the bau unta yg busyyyuuk itu, susu beliau sangat lazat! lemak berkrim, rasa mcm susu marigold HL. serius memang sedap sangat. Mami siap tambah2 lagi kat ladang unta padang pasir tu. wah teringinnya! sedapp!!!

tapi Mami tak penah try susu sendiri ;P

Before I Breastfeed...

before my baby was born, i always love to share my dream with other moms : to breastfeed my baby. the most popular responds i got was like...

"tak payahla breastfeed, susah. leceh nak kena pam2, nak handle lagi leceh"
"ko keje, mana boleh nak breastfeed"
"mengarut je. ko kan kene outstation selalu. nak wat cemana tu?"
"susah nanti ko nak cari babysitter/nursery yg nak jaga budak breastfeed"
"kalo susu ko ada, bole la nak breastfeed"
dan sebagainya.

i was yet a Mommy that time, so i left them with no comment. but in my head, i want to prove to them that despite the 'good excuses' [since they used the reasons above to answer why don't they breastfeed], i can manage to breastfeed my son as long as i want.

[but i'm considered lucky cos those persons are not my mom, nor my MIL, nor my grannies, nor my aunties, nor my sisters. my family give me fully support to breastfeed, even if none of them ever did this.]

i guess nowadays, we can find working-nursing-moms everywhere. i don't understand why there's still such idea that "tak bole menyusu sebab kerja..". yeah maybe out there some mommies really don't know about this but please don't say "mana bole bf, kan kerja.." to others. kalo ye pun cakapla "bole ker bf & kerja?" bila orang tanye, ye dak?

& if you malas to breastfeed, malas to handle breastmilk, malas to pump, etc. let it be your personal problem sudahlah. don't drag everybody to join your kemalasan tu. i don't mind if anybody doesn't want to breastfeed sebab malas, but don't promote it to others. if you don't want to give your baby your milk, don't ask others to. if you think you baby don't deserve your milk, other babies deserve. you think all moms are malas like you ka?

another excuse i really don't like is about the babysitter or nursery. if nursery A can't, go to nursery B lah. if both can't, find other nursery la... okay2, i don't wanna comment lebih2, it's their choice, but to me, my children's' welfare is 100% on me. if to find a right place to put my kids pun i fail, how about their future? will i succumb to 'susahla... susahla..' then my kids don't get what they deserve for. i took unpaid leave, and willing to send my baby nun jauh ke Permyjaya,& plan to hire a maid just because i want him to get the full richness of my breastmilk.

with my job, i have to go outstation. to attend meetings, training, etc. most probably i have to go to KL, KK & terengganu in regular basis. but it's not an excuse for me to stop giving my baby BM. if there's a will there's a way rite. my very first outstation will be in the next fornite [hopefully], to seremban. i'm gonna bring Hafiy with me & i asked ma friend, Bolly [she stays at KL] to come with me. if i'm going to places that i can't bring him together [offshore or barge, probably] i should prepare a bank of frozen milk for him.

i don't mind if anyone wanna give her baby FM because 'susu tak ada' but pleaaseeee don't use it as an advise to newly-planned-to-breastfeed mommies. i never state in my mind to 'nak breastfeed kalo susu ada' or sewaktu dgnnya. i said to myself, i want to breastfeed & my susu MUST ada. even i don't ever2 prepare any tin of FM at home even if for 'emergency' because i believe that my body won't let my boy die for starving [mati kebuluran?].

i know many moms fail to breastfeed because of the feeling 'takut baby lapar susu xde', then they feed them FM. end up, rely to FM forever. [some are successful to cont. bf & say well done! to 'em] being me, even if my breast full only on the 4th day, even if i don't feel like producing, even if my baby cried, but i told myself that 'he's not hungry. he just need my hug because he's afraid of this new, big, open world'. alhamdulillah my son is still survive, with no jaundice and gains very healthy weight. i think he never dies because of my little milk la.

i pray that other moms or moms-to-be who plan to breastfeed, able to find the right persons & right resources those can motivate them and help them to breastfeed successfully. amiin~

Why Does She Fail to Breastfeed?

i have a friend, who was really keen to breastfeed. but now she fails, a total fail. and she's kinda 'why you still can breastfeed your baby and i can't?' toward me. [not to say that i'm successful but at least my son is still on my breastmilk, exclusively]. - (this is excluding those who want to breastfeed but fail because of physical condition or whatever)

i'd like to list down her mistakes those driving to the failure:-

1. she thought breastfeeding is simple.
- might be like.. a fully automated thing, everymom can breastfeed as long as she has a baby.
- gosh from the beginning i know breastfeeding is never be simple. if it is, why the FM is belambak2 in the market? if it's that simple, everybody should be able to breastfeed.

2. refuses to learn.
- because she thinks it's simple, so she didn't want to learn. even i was named 'idiot' when asking too much about breastfeeding.
- & i'm still learning until now.

3. minimal knowledge.
- because of those 2 reasons, she has minimal knowledge without her awareness.
- she thought she was very smart.

4. and the BIGGEST MISTAKE is - top up with formula milk (FM) because - "MY BABY DRINKS MY MILK TOO MUCH & EVEN IF I HAVE PLENTY, IT STILL CAN'T SATISFY HER/HIM".
- i told her that she shouldn't do that, but she said the baby sucked her all the time, and she couldn't provide much to make he baby contented.
- i take myself out of this ideology, please. even if my body doesn't produce much milk, but i believe that it won't let my son hungry, and it won't let me rely on other sources than my own breastmilk.

5. still hoping that the breastmilk is there despite the FM.
- once you rely on FM, and the baby relies on FM, then your breasts get not enough stimulation, the milk would probably gone.
- because of the minimal knowledge, she doesn't know about this, and she thinks she can stop the FM but how to stop if the FM now become the main food while the BM is start to decrease and decrease.

6. don't know how to stimulate breastmilk
- when the milk is running out, she becomes 'heran' how could it be. she doesn't know what makes her BM is there, it is the baby! when she gives her baby FM, the stimulation is insufficient thus reducing the supply.
- she's hardly pumping her milk because of the busy working days. so the body gets no signal of milk demand. no demand, no supply.

7. and the core reason of everything is being ignorance.

i'm not a breastfeeding guru or whateva, but i would like to share my little experience and knowledge with all my friends. up to this point, i'd face so many, ups and downs in breastfeeding my son. sometimes i feel i'm smart enough and some other time a total idiot. but howeva, maternal instinct and common sense is very important in breastfeeding and caring of the baby. because our babies are unique.

i like to see moms breastfeeding their babies, as the babies will become our future. but i still respect moms who choose to formula-feed but a mom who wants to breastfeed but fail because of ignorance (& refuse to learn) is a tragedy.

yes parenting, babycaring, etc. are common senses but there are things we have to learn.