My Miracles

it has been a week since i left Hafiy with Tok Ma in KL. rindu??? mana boleh tak!!! everynite Mami kene tengok gamba2 Hafiy. pastu call Hafiy (ni Hafiy request, if tak, Hafiy tak senang duduk).

since then, Adik started to move very actively (before this like lazy2 je). Mommy noticed that when we're with Abang Hafiy, Adik didn't move like this la. the movement became so obvious (until i could see the waves on my tummy) since we went to Sibu. could be Adik was very happy to see Abiy, and alone with Mommy and Abiy? :P

when looking at Hafiy's pics, i feel like years. how i miss to cuddle him to sleep everynight while breastfeeding him. and having him pulling my hair and ears to wake up everymorning.

Hafiy beraya. no songkok, no samping.

*please excuse the messy room.

macamana nak buka botol ni?


..scribble..scribble...


wow! what a huge wheely! so big my car's tyres never can beat.


what did Mommy put on her face?

rasa macam magic je. time flies too fast until Mommy failed to catch up lots of things. career, personality, my visions&missions, family, children... and lots more... i'm still running to run through and be in line with all the things. ooh my...

sometimes i ask myself, when can i be a good Mommy? selalu tak dapat spend quality time with my own children. i dont want to blame my job, cos other moms also FTWM, yet they manage to do everything with their kids (i'm not that busy pun). even i don't jahit menjahit like Mommy Adam pun... but nape takde time?

nevertheless, i wanna make sure Hafiy can master some early practical life skills (which a 12-MO toddler could have lah, (according to my doc-to-be sister) i never expect too high), what i have in my list (he already has the basic, but yet not systematic):
- washing hands
- washing face
- brushing teeth
- use napkin to dab his mouth
- feeding self
- screwing and unscrewing lid
- walking up and down stairs (some asked us to put safety gate, but i prefer him to learn the skill)
- scribbling
- neatening his belongings

i hope we're (Abiy & i) gonna have more time to show him the right ways to do all those things (even if he WILL say NO to any attempt to assist, is my boy a self-learner?). *this is a silent message to my bosses, that all of us have to stay together as a family.

and introducing....

Abiy said Adik (my tummy) looks tooo big for 5 months.

A Trip to Sibu

this time Mommy came back to Miri without Hafiy, so Abiy dengan gumbiranya mengajak pergi jalan-jalan Sibu. maklumlah Mami tak pernah sampai. nak ke Kuching jauh sangat.

Sibu town is about 5 hours driving from Miri. ia terletak tengah-tengah, between Miri and Kuching. if Sibu pun dah 5 hours, so Kuching??? oh itu mau naik flight sajala nanti2.

luas tau Sarawak ni

we planned to stay overnight in Sibu. tapi senang lah becos tak payah prepare keperluan kanak-kanak :D this time kira our honeymoon lah. plus Adik, bawak Adik jalan-jalan. Hafiy dulu kami bawak pegi Brunei, siap naik bot lagi. kasi can la kat Adik pulak.

lepas pekena roti canai sebelah Klinik Dr. Phillip Raja (what's the name ah? i always call it 'canai pilip' je without bothering the restaurant's real name :P), kami gerak menuju ke arah selatan. it was about 10am lah. lewat sikit sebab Abiy nak tunggu kedai buka, nak beli mag.

journey ke Bintulu dalam 2.5 jam. kami melalui Niah, gua yang femes tu (bile nakgi Niah ni?). sepanjang2 jalan ke Bintulu, most of the time lalu ladang kelapa sawit yang saujana mata memandang. i have a friend yang tinggal kat ladang tu, her husband is the Mill Manager kat Derawan Estate, Aunty Nana. banyak kali plan nak jumpe tapi belum ada rezeki.

sampai Bintulu dalam 12.30pm, kami tak drop by lah. sebab Sibunya jauh lagi. Bintulu pun bandar oil & gas. kat sini ada plant LNG terbesar. ramai kawan2 kami jadi pekerja kat MLNG, ABF dan BCOT. tapi memang tak sempat nak singgah, sorry ye orang Bintulu.

senang je sebenarnya jalan-jalan kat Sarawak ni. sebab dia ada satu jalan je. ada la simpang2, contohnya ke Mukah, Kapit, tu kena tengok signboard lah. sepanjang jalan selepas Bintulu tu, banyak rumah-rumah panjang kat tepi jalan. tapi sekarang rumah panjang dah moden, siap ada rumah batu lagi. tak adelah rupa rumah panjang yang biasa dibayangkan orang Semenanjung. cuma ciri binaannya masih mengekalkan ciri-ciri rumah panjang asal, macam satu dewan yang luas kat dalam tu walaupun depannya ada banyak pintu.

one of the rumah panjang

jalan raya ke Sibu, boleh tahan lah. kalau nak compare dengan PLUS tu janganlah... kira standard jalan Ipoh-KB, KL-KB lah. cuma kena hati-hati bawa kereta, sebab most of the time maxis tak ade line. kalo jadi apa-apa kan susah pulak.

kami tiba di Sibu jam 3 petang. sempat lagi pegi bank sebelum check in kat RH Hotel. OK la ratenya, kami dapat corporate rate, dapat la diskaun hampir 50%. lepas check in, pegi lunch kat Wisma Sanyan, sebelah hotel. senang lah sebab ada jambatan je ke situ, tak payah cross jalan.

sebelah Mami tu bangunan hotel, belakang tu Sanyan

disebabkan tak ada restoran lain, kami makan Pizza Hut. tapikan, pizza, sup kat sini sangat sedap! rotinya lembut sampai ke rakusan terakhir, supnya pun pekat. samada orang Sibu pandai masak atau kami yang lapar sangat :D

Bandar Sibu dari bilik kami (sungguh tak pro ini fotografer)

petangnya penat sangat, rehat2 kat bilik je. malamnya baru keluar, jalan-jalan cari makan. susah juga nak makan, sebab tak jumpa food court yang Abiy kata ada banyak restoran Melayu. melilau cari sampai ke outskirt. last-last masuk town balik, makan Mc Donald's je :D

ke Sibu ni, Mami tak bawa pam. ye lah.. maybe sebab assume sakit2 brst tu sebab dia tengah prepare untuk Adik. sekali.. tak tahan sangat, Mami perah dengan tangan, subhanallah memancut2 keluarnya. tapi disebabkan Mami tak reti, sakit jadinya itupun lepas tanya Prof Google. sampai hari ni masih sakit lagi.(mmg tak pandai. itupun lepas tanya Prof Google. sampai hari ni masih sakit lagi). masa tu terasa, alangkah bestnya kalau Hafiy ada... boleh bagi Hafiy minum...

lepas makan, jalan-jalan je sekitar 'Gerbang Sibu' tu.

di Gerbang Sibu

esoknya, lepas breakfast, kami ambil gambar lagi kat dataran depan hotel. disebabkan kami bukan kaki bergambar, jadi gambar-gambarnya pun ala kadar saje lah..

di dataran

lepas tu, check out dan jalan-jalan kat jeti pula. dulu, sebelum ada jambatan, nak ke Sarikei, Kuching, kena cross Batang (Sungai) Rajang dengan feri. sekarang dah ada jambatan, senanglah sikit. tak payah sesak2 tunggu feri.

Batang Rajang

swan, lambang Bandar Sibu

on the way balik, kami ingat nak singgah Mukah. mungkin boleh cuba umai sedap, ulat sagu (ngee~) dan udang galah. tapi sayangnya jalannya terlalulah tidak menyelesakan. bayangkan sepanjang-panjang yg tak tahu berapa puluh km tu boleh lari paling laju 20km/j je. last2 kami decide untuk patah balik sajelah, atau pinggang kami yang patah.

temple terbesar di Malaysia ada di sini


hadiah dari jalan ke Mukah

kami singgah di Bintulu untuk lunch dan solat. lepas tu teruskan perjalanan ke Miri, jam 6 sampai, Maghrib dah...

tak pernah jumpa nasi macam ni kat Food Court Semenanjung

alhamdulillah, walaupun tak jauh, semoga musafir kami diberkati Allah. setelah menghadapi peristiwa-peristiwa yang tidak dijangka, ada masanya kita perlukan sesuatu medium untuk menenangkan diri. di satu tempat yang jauh dari keributan kerja dan kehidupan harian yang kalut, bila sesekali bepergian berdua, banyak perkara yang dapat diselesaikan.

dan Mami tidak merasakan ini (pergi tanpa Hafiy) adalah perkara yang tidak adil bagi Hafiy. kerana Mami dan Abiy juga manusia biasa, kami juga perlukan ruang untuk berbicara berdua dan menyelesaikan beberapa perkara secara sendirian. lagipun, hati seorang bapa masih lagi hati seorang lelaki, tak sama dengan hati seorang ibu. seorang ibu, bila mendapat anak, kasih sayangnya tidak berbelah bahagi pada anak-anak, hingga kadang-kadang melebihi dari suami sendiri. tapi hati suami kadangkala menginginkan keadaan yang tenteram, alone with his wife, jauh dari pengaruh anak-anak.

syukurlah Allah memberi kemudahan pada kami. dengan adanya pengasuh yang boleh menjaga Hafiy malam-malam, memberi kami masa untuk dating sekali-sekala. walaupun ada yang mengatakan masih terlalu awal untuk dating berdua, sekarang masa untuk anak-anak, tapi bagi Mami, kebahagiaan rumahtangga itu harus dijaga dari awal. terpulanglah pada keadaan individu kan. lain orang, lain ragamnya. pandai-pandailah memoderatekan. jangan kerana terlalu pentingkan anak, suami/isteri terabai dan jangan terlalu pentingkan suami/isteri sampai anak-anak terabai. anak itu tanggungjawab dan amanah pada suami dan isteri, namun kunci syurga isteri terletak pada keredhaan suami.

"andainya aku boleh memerintahkan seseorang untuk sujud kepada orang lain, niscaya aku perintahkan seorang isteri untuk sujud kepada suaminya" (HR Ahmad)

Best Bet For Our Money

once i was approached by somebody promoting insurance policy. what attracts me was "if you buy this policy, even if you have a small cut on your finger, you'll be protected. and if you cant afford to pay the full premium, you can choose half or a quarter" i just said "thanks, i dont think i need".

no offense to any insurance agent, but i just took him as a marketer, and as advised by Seth Gordon 'all marketers are liars'.
1. do you go to clinic for a small cut on your finger? to me a handiplast will do.
2. you pay half, and you expect full coverage? silap2 after i discharge from hospital or even after my death pun i have to pay the hutang for medical.

new to the field of working, we dont have much money. our salary is just enough to make ends meet. thus, we have to be smart enough in saving money.
1. saving for emergency.
2. saving for future use.
3. saving for our children.
4. saving for medical purposes.
5. saving for retirement.

i knew that we have to be smart in spending and saving our many because:
1. we are just working.
that makes our salaries are no that big. and we are not working with an organization that pays us RM5k per month :P
2. we just started a family, and it's keep on growing.
so many things to be expect when you have a growing family.
4. we have many things to do, and many unexpected things to expect.
we just started our life, and in this turbulence world, we can't predict what will happen. even the oil price is getting lower and over although OPEC announced that they'll cut the production (will they really cut it??? will they???).
5. we started our life with RM0.00, with no 'allowance' from our parents.

we forecast that those reasons will probably cause us:
1. have to pay for something in big amount, and we need the money urgently.
2. get opportunity to buy a nice house/car with cheaper than market price, but need a huge downpayment.
3. in our sisters/brothers need money in huge amount and seek for our help.
4. aob.

so we have to be smart in spending, as well as saving. (in our current situation) we don't have to live in frugality, but just always pay for what we need, occasionally pay for what we want, and try to avoid to pay for lavish things.

in term of saving, the 'safe' methods we play:
1. save in a safe place.
2. save in a place with no ATM.
3. save in a place which give you some returns.
4. save in a place which not cause you to lose your capitals.
5. save in a place where you can withdraw your money anytime you need.

why a word 'return' there? because we have to play with inflation and credit depression. what can you buy with RM50 today? and 10 years back, what can your buy with that amount? day by day, our money loss its value, and average Malaysian inflation rate is about 4% per year. in 30 years, RM1000,000 will valued like RM60,000 today. how many losses we have to face if we ignore the depreciation factor? and there's many instruments don't cover inflation such as saving account, fix deposit, insurance endowment, and even gold.

that's why before deciding to 'put money somewhere', or to invest, knowledge about personal finance is very significant.

Got Milk During Pregnancy

Being pregnant makes a significant hormonal change in a woman.

- HCG hormone boosts up during the early weeks and decline as the placenta properly functions (from there you can get the second line in UPT kit).
- estrogen and progesterone level incline throughout the pregnancy.
- high estrogen level drives prolactin to works for the preparation to breastfeed. some moms-2-b find out their breast are already 'leak'.

some common FAQ about milking during pregnancy:
1. Is it normal? YES.
2. does it mean that i will have enough milk for my baby? ABSOLUTELY YES.
3. my milk still doesn't come but i am 9 month already. can i breastfeed? ABSOLUTELY YES!!
4. i dont have milk when i pregnant. that makes i'm unsure about breastfeeding. MILK OR NO MILK DURING PREGNANCY IS VERY INSIGNIFICANT TO DETERMINE WEATHER U CAN BF OR NOT.

during pregnancy (see the point above), 'milk factory' drove by estrogen. either it is leak or not, as long as the mother has breasts and all breast tissues those involve in breastfeeding, the factory is already working!

after the baby delivery, as soon as the placenta get off, estrogen and progesterone level decline to the normal level. this time, prolactin and milk factory works without push factor from estrogen anymore, but the baby's demand. that's why breast and nipple stimulation from baby's sucking is vital for milk development, wether the mother had 'milk leakage' or not.

milk during pregnancy and after delivery are slightly different (different causes, different factors, different drivers..). all healthy mothers (no problem with health, hormone, anatomy, etc) are able to breastfeed regardless what happen during pregnancy. most mothers have their breast 'empty' for the first few days after delivery, but as that is what has been 'wrote' by Allah SWT, the condition won't make any baby die of starving, as the little drop of colostrum will be enough to fill that little stomach.

Happy Breastfeeding!

What's His Learning Style?

i always like to have a glance on other moms' styles of teaching, on how do they teach and what do they teach their children at home. as nowadays most of us are FTWM (full time working moms), but those who still able to provide their kids with some lesson sessions at home, either on academic or non-academic, are really really marvellous.

Abiy and i like to discuss about children's schooling (even if still long way to go). of course we want to send our kids to the best school, even for kindergarten. but, what make me worry about schooling is, two things; 1) the curriculum 2) the school kids' behavior. for no 1),sending our kids to school meaning we have to follow what the school curriculum says. have you ever see a 2nd grader pupil who's not able to read? to me he's not a dumb, 'lemah', slow, etc. but the one-size-fits-all school curriculum doesn't match his learning style.

and no 2), i still remember during my kindy time. i home, my mom didn't allow any dirty word, including calling 'aku' (i) and 'mu' (you) [even if they're not dirty words] when talking to others,especially my sister. so we are called by our name, and talk to our friends using 'saya' and 'awak'. but, during schooling, i learned sooo many dirty-words, mostly from my classmates. and i started to called my sister "b*ruk" everytime we had fight. and from friends, i knew about male-female intercourse (even if not sure about the purpose).

should i put an expectation, i send my child to kindy and when he comes back, he'll call his brother "b*ruk?" and show a report card written 'too playful & don't concentrate in class'.

however, we have no other choice than sending everyone of them to the public schools. so i told Abiy that we should not rely to any school to provide our children true education. they might learn Maths, Science, History, etc. in school, but the true education for me is the ethic they show in their daily life. what is the value of a 'Math guru' but doesn't know how to interact with others? i know that education ministry is doing their best to provide the best education for every Malaysians kid, but as i come from that 'field' as well, all that i learnt in school was for exam's sake.

and what's happening in public schools make me scare! put aside the bully and play truant case cos they're not new. look at free sex, gangs, etc.. oh my.. are those the youngsters who are gonna take care of the future of my country???

but since Hafiy is still too young, we reserve the case. who know later Malaysian kids changes to be more well-mannered.

for now we're observing his learning styles. i found out that Hafiy learns fast via observation. he's also an independent learner, and never allow us to 'teach' him how to do this and that. long ago, i taught him how to use spoon to feed himself, but he seemed like not interested, and he didn't like to feed himself. so i just let him be, even if i felt a bit disappointing because most babies at his age could feed themselves. but now i am witnessing he's eating by himself, using spoon or his hands. and he's even get angry if i try to 'teach' him, seems like saying "i know how to do it, Mommy. you don't have to demostrate it many times".

kids learn in different ways, and from Hafiy i learned that pushing them too hard is just not smart enough. and it is beneficial if we learn their learning style. as everyone has different learning styles, and it is actually mix up of 7 styles, and with different concentration in each. generally, from studies, human learning styles are, visual-spatial, auditory-musical, linguistic, physical-kinesthetic, logical-mathematical, interpersonal and intrapersonal.

conservative teaching method usually use liguistic and logical. that's might be the answer for why a second grader still can't read. because in school we are taught by reading, repetition and exam to grade us! (with co-cu classes, students have chances to practice their preference, but how many students are actually go to co-cu classes?).

i really envy to those moms who have time to teach their kids at home (SAHMs, perhaps?) because i presume that they have ample time to learn about their kids, and match it with the most suitable method that their kids are into.

some kids might be just OK with linguistic approach, but some might just restless and can't stay put to focus on what they are doing. some might want to use their physical and sense of touch to learn about something. and some kids might learn better in solitary rather than in a group. who will have time to figure out this, if not the parents?

thank you Hafiy for making me realise that there is no one-size-fits-all. as he grew up, he can't spend time on books or flashcards or even toys. he's just so restless. at first i thought he has problem to focus. and that gave me some feeling of dissappointing, because i can't handle my own child while others are enjoy with their learning session at home. but later then i learned that it is just his style. and he's just a baby summore, he has lots of curiousity about everything. i let him learn in his own way, by constantly showing the right things. and i am so proud when he knows to eat by himself, knows his shirt, tidy up his toys, wipes his mouth and face and so on. he might a bit late than others, but i never mind about it. after all, everything is just theory, and it is still fall in the parent's gut about what's the best for the children.

i hope i have time to observe more on my kids behaviour and find the best way to give them courage to boost up their potential, rather than looking at other moms and other kids methods and styles, and feel disappointed because i failed to do what they do and my children are not as smart as other kids. it's not their fault but could be my incorrect approach in guiding them.

What LCs Say...

this is the compilation of among the LCs advise on my current problem (for my friends' and my future reference [if this happen again]):

from Rita (Moms Little Ones)

Please understand that pregnancy does affect milk supply. So, technically, do expect your milk supply to dwindle over time. However, you can still continue to breastfeed your older baby.

May I suggest that you ensure the 11mth old baby gets more solid food and perhaps introduce Organic Soya for him to drink? It would be better than giving cows milk since it does not contain cows milk protein which is bad.

from Vivian (Fabulous Mom)

Your milk will slowly decrease as you progress in your pregnancy. That’s what happened to me when I was pregnant with my second child and was still nursing my first.

We had no choice but to offer other forms of milk like soymilk, oatmilk, formula milk until I delivered my baby and which my milk comes in and enough for my first child and the new baby.

from Teglene (La Leche Legue)

Women who breastfeed while pregnant often find their milk supply decreases around the fourth or fifth month. If your breastfeeding baby is less than a year old, watch his weight gain to be sure he is getting enough to eat. It's also not uncommon for the flavor of your milk to change. These changes may prompt some older babies to nurse less often or to wean entirely.

Some moms are able to increase their production by nursing more frequently.

This evidence backs up the rule of thumb that states that, when a mother nurses during pregnancy, her nutrition stores go first to the baby in utero, second to the nursing toddler, and last, to her. That's why it's so important to eat a healthy diet. There's nothing in particular you have to eat or shouldn't eat, but it is very important to eat a balanced diet.

when finding the solution, i came across these:
from Vivian (Fabulous Mom)

For now, you can consider taking the Biogreen oatmilk which is safe for pregnant moms and help in maintaining milk supply.


(already made the order!)

from Judith (Mother Love)

The only Motherlove product that is safe to increase milk supply while pregnant and nursing is More Milk Two Alcohol Free.

(but only available in US)

we just decided to follow the flow. let Hafiy on Isomil, at least until Adik is here. then hopefully can continue breastfeed him.

1 year Old Hafiy

Hafiy's achievement:

1. Walk steadily
Mami ingat Hafiy lambat berjalan since Hafiy lambat turn, lambat merangkak..

2. 'Talk'

Mam..mii = Mommy
Mam/nyam = eat
Em/emem = drink
Em Mi (em Mami) = nenen
Nak/nyak = i want
Baa = Abiy
[tau mintak makan je]

3. Eat & drink by himself (but with assistance if not semua beterabur).

4. Shake hand (dengan rakan sebaya je, adult, no!)

5. 'Pray'

6. Kiss (girl cantik je)

7. Tukar setting hp, tv, pc, etc.

8. Look for Mommy
Kalau Mami tibe2 hilang or tak sempat say goodbye (kes terlambat), Hafiy naik atas sorang2 cari kat bilik, toilet, etc.

9. Favourite toys
- bubble
- teddy bear Mami
- pen, pencil, marker
- spoon
- bekas & botol bertutup (main tutup-buka)
- benda2 kat dashboard kereta
- remote gate. memang tak terkejut kalau tiba2 tengok gate tak bertutup
- benda2 dalam almari/cabinet
- buku orang

10. Dislike
- mandi
- baby food

11. Favourite Spot
- bookstore
- kiosks kat shopping dept

12. Weakness
- takut pada stethoscope
- suka nanges if kena marah

13. Strength
- macho. orang usik barang dia, usik badan dia, steady je. tp bila dah over, nah ambik kau sebijik!
- happy, sehappy namanya.
- suka gelak.

14. 6 batang gigi.

15. On soy formula....
lucky that Hafiy belasah saja semua benda.

Mami, Abiy & Adik saaaayang Abang Hafiy!

Time to Take A Break

Hafiy tibe2 pandai minum dengan straw. Mami tak ajar pun.

dalam 2 hari ni Mami dalam blues yang panjang. i'm not OK!

yesterday i put the status "mampukah kubertahan", sampai beberapa orang msg & sms "what happen?"

now that we're in the middle of our pregnancy journey, still has half way to go. but now my milk is not even half from the history.

1. pam sehari dapat setitik. setitik? i'm not kidding. just imagine you fill a bottle with milk, then your pour it into another bottle. sisa2 yang tertinggal dalam first bottle is what i managed to collect these days.
2. Hafiy menangis & meraung tengah2 malam lagi and when i hand him plain water, he drinks and back to sleep.

yes, actually since my milk drop, i already noted it. an LC advised me that my milk will drop, and i can't take any lactogenic herb, and even lactogenic food won't give any effect.

and i started to supplement Hafiy with cow milk since 2 weeks ago, but not everyday. could be once or twice a week, with not more than 2oz of cow milk. but one day when he drank more than that, he got diarrhea. so i stopped.

now we planned to buy soy based milk (advised by LC), and as recommended by others, Isomil.

even if my milk drop and i said before that i'm not going to give him formula, i will provide him what a baby/toddler should get, MILK! i won't substitute my breastmilk with other drink like juice, etc. milk is not only drink, it provides nutrient for that little body. breastmilk is the best, but fruit juice will never replace milk richness. so we opened our mind to accept that, our baby need milk for his growth. we can give him supplement from the drugstore, but to me, how good or natural the supplement is, if we able to give natural source for him, we will go for it first. he's only a baby, he need not only the nutrient but also to enjoy the food.

Abiy said about wet nursing with other BF mothers. but it's impossible to do:
1) we dont have any friends or relatives who are BFing & stay close to us.
2) if we send to other mother to stay away, we hav to pay for babysitting.
3) i still want to nurse Hafiy at night

so again i get help from LC, and nanti we will get soy based milk for Hafiy. just for supplement, while i'm still breastfeeding him.

chatting with teman seperjuangan, Mama Danish she said "susu tu rezeki anak tapi Tuhan dah bagi rezeki lain, so kita kene bertanggungjawab, bersyukur jugak dengan rezeki ni". then i remembered Abiy's advised "jangan terlalu fikirkan Hafiy, fikirkan juga Adik tu. kesian adik, dalam perut lagi dah kena abai"

uhuhuhu oh tidak.. oh tidak anak2ku.. Mami tidak pernah sekali2 mengabaikan sesiapa. i love you all!!!

so, i take this as a break for me. maybe Dia nak Mami berehat, sit back & relax sekejap. nanti tahun depan kita tandem nurse lagi :) insya-Allah.
and Mami sangat happy & puas hati dengan usaha dan pencapaian Mami setakat ni. syukur pada Allah atas nikmat-Nya yang tak terhingga (Dr Seri pun salute Mami still BF Hafiy tau!).

*even if i've been breastfeeding for 1 year now, but i'm still referring to LCs for breastfeeding matters.

Our Financial Plan

as for us,

bank saving accounts - for routine ins and outs money
unit trust - for medium to long term saving
insurance - for protection
others - for other reasons

for Hafiy and Adik, we don't go for saving accounts (most banks has kids' saving accounts) because of the above concepts. Hafiy and Adik won't able to withdraw money (even if both of you can but we won't allow it before you are 18) so there is no use for such account. futhermore, returns from saving account is only from 1.8-3% per annum.

we don't open insurance account for both Hafiy, adik dan the 3 following fellas, because:
- insurance is NOT an investment, it is for protection (even tho it is investment link, only half of the money invested in unit trust).
- we don't need medical insurance bcos medical expenses for 5 children will be taken care by our company.(*the 6th and rest will get this i guess.. 6th???)
- little kids don't have dependants for life insurans. (buy it yourselflah later, after you get married & have kids)
- education insurans gives smaller return than unit trust.

insurans, for us, on the other hand is a 'force-saving'. for those who are 'hard to save money' or 'hard to pay for themselves', insurans is a good instrument. this is because they have to commit the payment everymonth. for people who love to save money, i think other instrument gives better return. if you can save at a better place for a better return, why not?

in Malaysia, generally we have 2 types of unit trust (amanah saham):
1) the one managed by PNB.
2) private unit trusts managed by unit trust companies like Public Mutual, CIMB Mutual, MAAKL, etc.

rule of thumb in unit trust investment (in other investment tho), the higher the risk, the higher the return. the highest unit trust fund is those invested (by the fund managers) directly in stock market such as index fund, equity fund, etc. during bear market (like what we are facing now) most (even all) equity funds go down. the safest (bear in mind that every investment has its own risks) are funds like bond and money market. but to respect the rule of thumb, those funds give low return.

for Hafiy and Adik, we opt for PNB's unit trust (ASNB) because it just meant for saving and we don't bear the risk of ups and down of stock market. plus, the price for ASW2020 is fixed RM1 for buying and selling, and no service charge. then, we have nothing to lose if we retrieve the saving before 2nd or 3rd years, or even tomorrow. it's return totally depend on divident and bonus, but at least we don't lose the initial investment if we want to retrieve it in short time.

it's different with private unit trust's equity funds. it should not be put as 'save today to retrieve tomorrow', unless you are interested in trading. this kind of fund, suitable for long term, say 15-25 years if not for trading. involving in this kind of funds, either for trading or long term, needs self knowledge rather than depending 100% on the agents. the best funds are managed by the best unit trust company, not only will give higher return, but also it won't go bangkrupt (it is another risk of funding with private unit trust).

where to invest?

saving/investment instrument won't be the same for unique individuals. thus, ones should know themselves before deciding to put the money on which basket.

that's the answer for why we don't invest in real estate/property. with our current salary, we are not ready to commit in property investment (not REITs), plus our limited knowledge, it will put us in high liability than collecting assets.

just wanna share what happened is US recently. since July, housing price in US declined to almost 20%, and now, US in undoubtly in recession. the speculation made the price (house and other buildings) goes up, and people keep on 'trading' housings and at a stage where the price came to 'unreasonable', the 'trading' cut down, the owner wasn't able to pay the mortgage, and banks lose their money.

thus, many US banks were closed. and this gives domino effect to all economic aspects. when people are unemployed, the buying power is less, consumer industry losses customers, supply is more than demand, people worry and sell their shares, stock market falls etc (just a brief review). as an economic taiko, US recession more or less give a pinch to other countries especially China and India, those are actively doing trading with US. to Malaysia? i don't know but the stock market now is giving discount to the investors!

what i wanna say is, when people keep on telling 'housing price won't go down', i beg to differ. property market is just like other market, it has its cycle, just maybe the circle is big, so the effect is not as significant as other market i.e. stock market, and it takes longer time. for people who 'beli tanah hutan 10tahun dulu 5ribu seekar sekarang this and that beli 50ribu seekar', is not an investment but gambling. investing is strategise, planned, has objective.. how the person knew 10 years back that certain people would buy the land with that price? we can keep on hoping but what is the basis? investment has its basis.

thus, a person with income rm1800 should has different objective and different instrument than another person with rm3000 and rm50k per month. the financial knowledge should be learnt by everyone who like to multiple their money rather than earn and keep (bawah bantal pun boleh). bear in mind that we have to deal with inflation and recession.

now that oil price goes down to more than 50% (this will trigger questions like "why the fuel price still high?" :D it's another long story). we know that Malaysia depends on oil & gas industry for more than 40% of its national income. when the oil price goes down... you know what does it mean..

look like i started to merapu bukan2 :P.

what i wanna tell you, Hafiy & Adik, use your money wisely. pay yourself first before you pay the supermarket tokeis. don't say money isn't everything, without money you won't able to eat, or even go to school.

wake up that in future we don't know what will happen. will our future generation get scholarship? will we be living for them then? thus, the preparation is a vital, start saving from now, especially for kids' education.

summary

return & risk:
saving account - 2-3% p.a. low risk (bank ada PIDM).
unit trust - medium return, varies from 5%-30% depending on funds types with medium risk.
insurance - low return but good for protection i.e. accident.
stock market - high return. can get 200%. but high risk, can bangkupt as well :D
properties - high return especially during boom market, but slow. low risk.

initial:
saving account - 100? 300? depend on bank and type of account.
unit trust - private from 500-1000. ASNB from 100.
stock market - tak malu kat remisier ke kalo beli sikit2? koman2 mau 2-3k above huhu.
properties - kena tanya bank berapa dia bagi pinjam.

our manner:
saving account - save whenever you like & sleep.
unit trust - save whenever you like & sleep. but if doing trading have to watch the market out.
insurance - save monthly and sleep. wait until something happen or its maturity.
stock market - buy and ready to get heart attack!

as i said, we have to be realistic and be in our own shoes. like us, we don't need medical insurance, so why pay? and for our kids who has no dependants, they don't need life insurance.

bear in mind that those things above are only tools, and it's not restricted to one-for-all. anyway, the choice is on us, whether we want to focus on our current needs or want to focus on our future needs. to me, knowledge in personal finance is good, at least minimum knowledge about 'WHERE SHOULD I PUT MY MONEY?'. unit trust agents, insurance agents, this and that agents will say anything to make you buy their policies, but how do you know it fits you? remember that we don't need all others need. if you need rice once a day, i might need more! so, seek for that knowledge before we accidentally buy this and that, than later we knew we don't need it, but have to commit with it!

check your needs and start saving now!

***
Abu Hurairah, r.a., reported "Rasulullah had said: richness does not lie in the abundance of worldly wealth but richness is the richness of the soul (heart, self).

"hai orang beriman! Janganlah kamu saling memakan harta sesamamu dengan jalan yang batil, kecuali dengan jalan perniagaan yang berlaku dengan suka sama suka di antara kamu. dan janglah kamu membunuh dirimu, sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha Penyayang kepadamu" (4:29).

Hafiy, Raya & Birthday!

gegambo Hafiy : TQ Dee!

i wasnt able to update tis blog since the raya leave. no pc and no streamyx, and tis one is via Abiy's hp in our journey back to KL from Kelantan.

this year raya, was a different experience. without Tok Pa, Tok Ma is in iddah, Hafiy is actively walking and Adik is actively kicking. we celebrated Raya morning in Johor, to visit Tok Pa's grave. we were in purple this year, including Hafiy in his new baju melayu ungu. cute sangat but no songkok bcos tak sempat cari (preparation sangat last minute).

Hafiy was out of control during Hari Raya. semua biskut raya dibelasahnya. Mami tak larat nak kawal dah, kalau disekat Hafiy menjerit satu rumah. dahlah ramai saudara mara kita ziarah. kalau dulu boleh 'tipu' dengan letak rusk dalam balang biskut, sekarang Hafiy dah pandai. how Mami solek rusk tu pun Hafiy tau itu rusk.

Raya ke-3, we back to Kelantan. this is our first time being there after a year. semua orang pun terkejut tengok Hafiy dah kurus dan sangat aktif. sampai2 je kita terus pegi kenduri Aunty Mia & malamnya Mak Tok buat suprise birthday party untuk Hafiy! saja dia awalkan sebab semua orang ada before sorang demi sorang akan pergi meninggalkan desa.

di Kelantan aktiviti full, tapi most kena kansel sebab ketiga2 kita kena diarrhea. mula2 Abiy, esoknya Hafiy, the following day Mami pulak. nak shopping pun tak sempat.

now Hafiy dah 1 year old. dah jalan dengan agak 'stabil' & panggil Mami. Hafiy pun pandai bersosial, if pegi mana2 tempat crowd, mesti nak join the crowd. tapi makin manjaaaa.

sempena birthday Hafiy yang pertama, Mami & Abiy opened ASW 2020 and ASD for Hafiy. no bank account yet cos Hafiy still not able to withdraw RM regularly, plus the return from saving account is not as much as unit trust like ASNB. we hope this would be a good start for Hafiy to learn the concept of investing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPY!

Post-Ramadhan

Most of my fren bila jumpa akan buat wild guess "kau mesti puasa penuh kan tahun ni". Mami cuma senyum je sebab Mami puasa tak penuh.

i left 7 days this Ramadhan. not bcos of tak larat or penat or pregnant etc, but it was for Hafiy cos my milk production sangat2 kurang kalo Mami puasa, even if di waktu malam. so i followed the LCs advise to puasa selang seli & alhamdulillah Hafiy OK since then.

terdapat banyak pendapat (dari yg bukan ilmuan) tentang berbuka bukan sebab haid/nifas ni (dari pengalaman & pemerhatian):
1. Puasa adalah wajib jd tidak kira apa yg terjadi mesti puasa regardless mengandung menyusu dsb.
2. Jika susu kurang, bagi saje FM, tak perlu tinggal2 puasa.
3. Kalau ikut macam tu, yang mengandung & menyusu tiap2 tahun, macamana nak ganti?
4. & macam2 lg pendapat dari kepala otak sendiri.

harus kita aware akan hukum2 Islam, adanya hukum2 azimah (yg dah tetap & wajib tu) dan hukum2 rukhsah (kelonggaran). ramai yang tak bersetuju dengan hukum rukhsah terutama di bulan puasa kerana mengikut mereka, tidak dapat menghayati Ramadhan.. Apa sajalah.

rukhsah, harus didalami dengan ilmu supaya kita semua aware bahawa rukhsah itu:
1. Perkara yang disukai oleh Allah.
2. mengambil rukhsah bukan bermakna kurang ilmu, kurang amal, malas, etc.
3. Rasulullah dan para sahabat juga mengerjakan rukhsah.
4. Hanya dibenarkan dalam keadaan uzur dan darurat tertentu.
5. yang penting ia tak menjauhkan sesiapa dari Allah.

penting untuk mendalami ilmu ni atau at least ada awareness supaya kita tak memandang serong terhadap sesiapa yang mengambil rukhsah, dan kitapun tak sewenang2 berukhsah, misalnya, asal mengandung je ingat boleh tinggal puasa sesuka hati.

dan tak patutlah rasa seronok dengan Ramadhan hanya sebab tak perlu ganti puasa, sedangkan perkara2 lain kita tak amik kisah pun. Rasulullah sendiri pernah bersabda yang menyatakan, berapa ramai orang puasa cuma dapat lapar dan dahaga je. sepatutnya Ramadhan dijadikan bulan tarbiah untuk bulan2 seterusnya yang lebih baik, bukan setakat merayakan Aidilfitri yang kononnya kemenangan selepas sebulan berpuasa.

berbalik pada rukhsah puasa bagi ibu menyusu yang risau atau memang teebukti tak cukup susu & ibu hamil yang risau keselamatan diri atau kandungan, dalam mana2 kitab tak ada dinyatakan, 'bagilah susu lain supaya kamu boleh puasa'. ada satu website yang menyatakan tentang puasa & artificial milk, (lupa addressnya) tapi bila didalami mesejnya samasekali tidak mengatakan 'bagila susu lain..' tapi 'bagi ibu2 yang dah campur susu, tak ada alasan untuk tinggal puasa untuk menyusu'.

tentang penggantian puasa dan pembayaran fidyah pun, terdapat banyak pendapat ulama, malah ada yang berpendapat, ibu menyusu tidak perlu mengganti puasa, hanya bayar fidyah sahaja, terutama ibu yang kerap mengandung dan menyusu. kenapa kita masih perlu rasa "tak patut tinggal puasa walaupun susu tak ada, nanti macamana nak ganti?", "kalau tiap2 tahun macam tu bila nak ganti?" etc. memang benar usaha untuk banyakkan susu dengan makan macam2 sebelah malamnya tapi tak semua orang sama. ada orang badannya cepat terhidrat walaupun sebelah malam minum banyak & makan macam2.

Islam tu mudah dan solution tentang masalah ni dah lama terjawab oleh ulama2 dulu dan kini, cuma kita kenala rajin belek2 dan bertanya, bukan mengeluar pendapat ikut logik dan sedap hati saja. buat penat saja ilmuan2 dulu korek ilmu sana sini & terbitkan buku2 untuk kita tapi kita masih syok sendiri dengan pemikiran logik tanpa bersandar apa2 dalil.

semoga Ramadhan lalu membuka pintu hati kita semua, ameen.